Part 5

He hit his chalet door with his right leg and stopped,,, he looked at me…

J: la tabcheen!

But the more he said it the more I was scared, not just because I lost the man of my life, but about not knowing what's going to happen and by what my parents are going to do to me!! He still didn’t move, he repeated the words "la tabcheen" as if I could easily stop, but I couldn’t!! Because I wasn’t at the normal stage of crying where a couple of tars flow down your eyes then if you stop you'll smile and say "everything is going to be alright"! I was crying the way a kid cries if he fell on his bike and got hurt, the type of crying that you couldn’t breathe and you're repeatedly took big short breaths…

I turned to look at the chalet and it was all dark, when he opened the lights his chalet was empty,,, he took me to his room and placed me slowly on his bed,,, I was shaking really hard…

J: LAMA shfeech! (he had this concerned look on his face)… basich bachee!

Then he left the room,,, where did he go?! I didn’t dare move a muscle, all I did was move my hand into the pocket of my dress to get my phone but it wasn’t there,,, the minutes passed as if they were days,,, just like that I fell asleep…

I must have not slept for long cause I wasn’t deep enough into my sleep,,, I felt him come in and covering me up with a thick blanket,,, he was doing something with his phone then he threw it on the bed,, he placed his hand (which seemed warmer) on my forehead and leaned down to kiss it with his big lips… then he turned to my back side and slowly came into bed, hugged me and started pecking my back … Then there was something else… there was an action I never thought I would hear or see him do!

OMG!! As he was pecking my back he was crying! I couldn’t believe it,,, he wasn’t the 7asaas type, it was never expected for him to cry for me! A girl that just betrayed him…

I turned around slowly and looked into his eyes and realized the pain that I was causing him,,, he just wanted to be loved,,, he wanted me to be the mother he never had he wanted me to take care of him,,,

Me: baba la tabchy…

I gave him a peck on his lips

J: walla a7ebich laish tsaween feeny chethy?!

Me: ana asfa 7agek 3alai baby, I love you,, im yours,,, and ill explain what happened tomorrow…

Then he leaned his head into my cheats and continued to cry till he fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep, I remembered everything he told me, about his mom passing away when he was three and how he never got love since his father was always traveling for work and that he was an only child. I realized that the only reason he drank was to express his feelings, he was drunk, he probably wouldn’t remember what he just did before falling asleep… I started playing with his hair till I fell asleep too.