part 4

All I know is that I woke up in his car, in the passenger seat… I opened one eye at a time slowly not wanting him to know that I woke up! There was no sound except for him heavily breathing…

I was helpless, scared, frightened and all I could see was his hand dig into the back seat, I quickly closed my eyes, he pulled out a bottle… he started to drink…the bottle was see through glass with the words "SMIRN OFF VODKA" all I could think of was the situation I was in,, and him getting drunk!!

Shasawee? A6ali3 my phone w adig? Inzaain 3ala minu??! What if he notices the light of the phone or hears a sound?? Where is he taking me? What if he really does kill me? Then I started to regain my senses,,, I tried to figure out i7na ib ay share3 by looking at the signs but I couldn’t see any since my chair was low and my head was down to my right sholder…

I looked out of the side mirror and all I could see were random cars passing by,,, where were M and Hala? Were they going to help me? I couldn’t stop thinking,,, shwai wela he stops at the side of the road,,, and he took my left hand gently while holding his vodka bottle in his left hand,,, his hands were still so cold, with no feelings of love or caring!!

J: goumai!

I stayed silent, I didn't want to face anything!!

J: baba goomai 5alna netfaham… la t5afeen many msaweelich shai…

I still didn’t respond

J held my left shoulder and started to shake me,,

J: goooomai (in his uneven drunken voice) lamoooo gooomai,,

I slowly opened my eyes acting like I just woke up,, my heart was beating so fast I felt as if he was going to smash the bottle into my head and kill me,, I felt as if he wanted to kill me,,, throw me out into the desert and leave me there to die,,, or for strangers to rape me,,, as I was opening my eyes I was looking around to see if I recognized anything,,, I did!! We were in front of his chalet,,,

J: yala nizlai!

Me: wain?

J: let's discuss this inside…

I was so tiered I couldn’t move, my legs were hurting they were so weak at the moment, and i couldn't look at him my head was down the whole time!!

Me: ma feeny, ryouly y3awroun

J: k ni6rai…

He opened his door and got out as he finished his vodka bottle and threw it into the bara7a,,, he turned to my side and opened the door,,, at that moment I thought that he would pull me out of the car with my hair or scream at me to get out, but all he did was gently carry me into his well builted body and hold me tight till we got in… as soon as my body touched his and my head touched his chest my heart raced faster than ever,, I wanted to scream "I LOVE U" and "YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT" but how could I? I just betrayed him!!! Then I started to cry and cry till we got into the chalet,,,