Part 44

I was sitting in front of my laptop listening to the latest Rashid album, I couldn’t help but think about Khalid… A month passed… with no call no message nothing. Wain khalid? Wain raa7? I need him in my life! He isn’t calling nor answering my calls…Is it business? Bas it's been,, hmm… 28 days,,, I'm breaking down, I can't do this anymore! Our families are back, so I get that he might be busy with them, or with work, I drove past his house twice but no sign of his car… should I call his mom? La la la asti7e! shagoulaha,, umm 5altie wain wildich…. AGAIN?! Shbetgool 3ani?! Mu entail 5a6eebta! Shlone ma t3arefeen?! I feel lost! I can't do anything…
Rula: ti6li3een weyaay?


Me: wain?


Rula: Baroo7 Strabucks


Me: no I don't feel like it


Rula: Lama! It's been almost a month and you haven't left the house what's wrong?


Me: nothing!


Rula: Khalid?


Me: I haven’t heard from him for so long, I miss him, and I don’t know where he is


I broke down, right there, I couldn’t handle it. The tears, they made their way through and I felt so embarrassed… how could I have gave a guy my whole body, and he just left me like that, in a blink of an eye… well I am still a virgin but that’s not all that matters. He doesn’t have to open me to realize I'm "mu zaina" and not "baree2a"… ok now other than that, shagool 7ag Rula? "uhh I did stuff with him and I think he changed his mind about our marriage???!!"
HOW EMBARESSING! I thought he was different! I think that’s it… he left me because of that, but I don’t want to find out, I don’t want to face reality, that he left me…


Rula: sweety tell me…


Me: it's nothing, I just can't get a hold of him…


Rula: did you ask his mom?


Me: No… I was hoping you would…


Rula: ok, sure…


Rula Dialling Um Khalid


Rula: aloo


Um Khalid: aloo hala Rula shlonich 7abeebty? *her voice was shook*


Rula: b5air khalty intaw?


Um Khalid: walla ib 5air


Rula: khalti, ba'3ait a3aref wain Khalid…


Um Khalid: laish shfeekum 7abeebty 9ayer shai? *she sounded so jumpy*


Rula: la khalti I just wanted him to help me set up a surprise for Lama… before their milcha


Um Khalid: *she started to cry heavily* walla 7abeebty Khalid told me not to tell anyone about this. But he has been in the hospital for 2 weeks… 7abeebty Khalid got in an accident min a month ta8reeban, he was on his way to your dad's office, they had a meeting w kan mit2a5er 3alaih. He was driving fast when his tire burst *gulp* and well that’s when he crashed. I am going to talk to your mother later on today; I want to call it off. I believes that your sister deserves someone else.


Rula got up slowly and acted casual, I didn’t know what they were talking about, I was so eager to find out… she left my room into hers and locked the door keeping me out.


Rula: why would you call it off? Why wouldn’t you want her to find out? Khalti ihy t7iba!


Um Khalid: 7abeebty oho akthar, he can't remember anyone since he woke up from the comma a few days back …*panting* not even me… the doctor says it might go away soon, in time.


Rula: Khalti ana many fahma… why call it off she'll wait; it's just a car accident… She'll postpone everything for him, I'm sure. *tears in her eyes*


Um Khalid: la 7abeebty, bas the doctor said ako possibility he… ya mama ana ma aby your sister tet3ab weya la2ana 7altah 5a6ra *they both burst out crying*


Rula: Khalti la tkalmeen omy, 5alni akalim Lama w etha rethat we won't call it off ok?


Um Khalid: ily tshoofeena 7abeebty


Rula took the hospital information from Khalid's mother and got out of the room to tell me the news.


Rula took a quick bath so it wouldn’t show that she was crying knowing I was waiting for her on the other side of her door. She dressed up to go out and opened the door


Me: HUH HUH SH9AAR? *I jumped up cheny yahel*


Rula: didn't I tell you were going out yala dress up! I'm gunna be waiting in the car then I'll tell you!


Me: ok yala


I rushed to my room wore my trainings, and rushed back to the car.


Me: YALA SAY!


My heart was beating fast, and m y breaths were short.


Rula: Khalid


Me: ee shfeeh?


Rula: he is ok. But he got into a car accident, a really small one and he is doing checkups in the hospital now


Me: which hospital? *I was surprisingly calm, really calm*


Rula: Hospital X.


Me: let's go, now.


Rula drove fast to the hospital, but I still didn’t react. We didnt say a word. I was so calm, I kept thanking god and praying that he would be alright. I didn’t shed a tear, not one. We got to the hospital and I walked calmly to the elevator, walked to his room, I found his mother standing outside his room reading qur2an.


Um Khalid: hala yumma


Me and Rula: hala 5alti…


Me: shlonich 5alti inshalla ib 5air?


Um Khalid: il7amdillah 3ala kil 7aal ya bnayte


Me: mmkin adish?


Um Khalid: ee 7abeebty oho nayem, Rula dishi weyaha 7abeebty


I turned and looked at them


Me: badish brou7y please


Rula: ok 7abeebty I'm here for you.



















































I got into his room, it was a private room. He was sleeping and he had a scar on his shoulder, a broken hand and his legs were wrapped. I went and sat next to him. Held his hand and started to kiss it, my baby, how could you have not told me about this, baby. I fell asleep after 30 minutes.





















TWO HOURS LATER


Khalid: lou sima7tai. Ga3d t3awreeny


He shook his hand to move it away from me…


Khalid: goomai


I woke up surprised


Me: 7abeeby, Khalid how are you feeling?


Khalid: *confused* 5air i5ty? I'm fine, and you are?


Me: *stunned* Lama.


Khalid: el?


Me: X


Khalid: I'm sorry but I don’t seem to remember…


Me: It's me. Baby it's me! *crying*


Khalid: I'm sorry Lama *guilt crept on to him* I was told ena I have memory loss.


Me: Khalid no! Not this! Not me! You're not leaving me like this! Remember please ana Lama.

Khalid turned his face.


Khalid: la 7awla wala 8uwata ila billah. Ya Omy walla I don’t remember, are you my sister? Cousin? Daughter?


Me: *crying* no, I'm your baby, your girl, the love of your life, 5a6eebtek


Khalid: *there was a tear held in his eyes* I had good taste *choke*


Me: baby it's me…


Khalid: I'm so sorry Lama, I am wallah, but there is something about you, your eyes, your smile, your smell, come sleep next to me, I want to be close to you, I might remember then…


We both slept in each other's arms, with him playing with me hair and my head laid on his chest. But it wasn’t the same now… he isn't my Khalid, he doesn’t remember me, he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t care for me, he is a guy with no memory of me, or of what we meant to each other. And I, on the other hand, was a lifeless girl now, sleeping next to a complete stranger, with a rush of feelings, crying, wanting him to realize it is me. The girl he fell head over heels for.