Hi everyone, my friend, Sara, has a problem she is facing and she talked to me about it, I gave her my opinion but she wanted yours too… I told her to write it up, so here it goes… love you;**
"I have a problem, please help me out...
My boyfriend and I have a healthy and stable relationship. When we were about to get into trouble with my family, he opened up to his mother about me. (This all happened behind my back).His mother agreed but he was sure his father wasn't going to. Then he changed towards me, he fought for any reason and screamed a lot... I was very patient and when I asked why that was he explained everything to me and told me that his father was probably not going to say yes for a reason he mentioned... and that he was acting different so I can give up on him, which I didn't do.
I decided that I was better off without him and left him two weeks ago. Today, we hit into each other, accidently at his university, while I was picking up a friend. He came up to me and he was like, "I got a message that you were here and I jumped out of class to see you" I smiled and excused myself and left. An hour later he messaged me telling me how much he was sorry and that he couldn't live without me and that he will stand up for me. He also came by to my house and dropped off a letter that explained what happened and how much he regretted it. I called him back and told him how much I was hurt and that I loved him but I really don't want to ruin his relationship with his father. He agreed and apologized a lot and promised not to hurt me again and that he would stand up for us to be together. I love him. He gave me a couple of days to figure it out, and see if I'm willing to get back with him, what should I do? I'm lost :(
Shasawe?"
This year?
10 months ago
As difficult as it may be, entering into a marriage or commitment is more than just something between two people.
ReplyDeleteOur culture is hard on us that way, we differ a lot from the West in the sense that we value family and tradition, and religion (of course) above all else. You can't have a "quicky" wedding in Vegas...there's nothing like that available to you.
So,
If, at the very beginning of planning a life together, there's a clash with the parents and the extended family, it's best not to pursue it. That's not the way to start a marriage, or continue a life.
It's happened to me, but had I wanted my father unhappy or our families disliking each other the rest of my life...I would've fought it.
She should weigh in her options; is he worth having an awkward relationship with his family? One that could be strained towards you and fractured beyond-repair with him?
BUT! If his father is willing to sit down, meet you, or even try on behalf of his sons feelings, then you have a chance.
Of course...if this is a shi3i/sunni debate...that could be more difficult.
Best of luck though! Inshallah it'll all work out for the best! Bs you have lots of thinking to do...
hmm let him talk to his dad again and try to convince him, etha maqtana3 you guys did what you have to do so..:s I can't say but allah e3eenich;s
ReplyDeletei say let him talk to his father and let them decide based on that =P
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have said it any better...
ReplyDeleteI'm with Um-Loai
leave cause you dont need that drama and at the end he will hate you because you are the reason he lost his father :(
ReplyDeletesorry but that is what i think :(
he hurt U and if he realy cared he wouldnt have done it in the first place!
ReplyDeleteow b3dein he hurt you once and he'll do it AGAIN ashkara.
but if you really really really love him then you should tell him to go face his dad ow tell him about you ow to prove his love to you.
etha he didnt do that then hes an ass :P he doesnt love you enough to make your love survive everything its gonna face, bass if he faces his did ow he didnt agree then that would be destiny tellin you inna hes not the guy for you !
bass if he faced his dad ow ri'6a then thats your GUY !
i wish you the best of luck 7abeebtii
luv U !:*
XOxo
OMG! It brought back the memories and tears to my eyes =( Very similar thing happened to me. About 2 years ago. And i didnt back down from my decision on letting him go but for 2 years i still suffer inside and yet, i can't tell him how i feel.
ReplyDeleteSo pls pls let him talk to his father, see if everything will be okay one way or another, then stable your decision. Inshallah everything will turn out as your heart desire =)
he should talk to his dad, explaining his feelings and that he wants her, etc. if the dad doesn't agree then don't force it 5ala9.. maybe its not meant to be.. bs lo allah katb inshallah kel shay ytyasar..
ReplyDeletebut aham shay enh he ykalm his dad, if he's too scared to talk to him just cause he thinks he'll say no then he's not worth the heartache.. he can't base this on an assumption, lazm ykalmah.. she shdnt get back with him unless he talks to his dad w his dad agrees
i recommend ur friend prays 9alat el-isti5arah w Allah byasrlha eli feeh 5air :)
madre that's what i think hope it helps
waaay il mafroooth he talks to his dad oo itha maritha 5alaaa9 lanna shtiswa 3alaiha 3eeshat korh m3a il ahal 9a7? walaa a7sanlaha inna tshoof itha kalam his dad. oo let her talk to her mom 5al ta5ith her opinion lanna il om adra ib 7alat bint-ha aw itha mo her mom ay a7ad 3ooud close to her oo allah kareeeem
ReplyDeleteplz plz pooooooost !!!
ReplyDeletelove yew:*
OMG MIITA ARE YOU GOING TO POOOST :(
ReplyDeletei guess you 4got about us !
we'll honey i love yew and all but you jst lost a REALY REALLY BIG FAN :(
im soorry bass you'r off my favorites list and im sorry inna you ditched us:**
bye
Anonymous 1: sorry. will do
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 2: i wish i dont but if i did, so be it. i didnt ditch you guys, i check my blog nearly daily for you guys. bas il theroof 9a3ba some times.
Sometimes.. when a guy loves a girl oo ahala ma yerthon.. yegdar yafreth'ha 3alaihum oo they would meet her and get to like her.. Sometimes.. That is... ya3ne it depends on the type of parents.. etha ahala mn el no3 eli "netbara mennik" then no.. I don't think you should pursue it.. le2anna in the end.. you won't be happy.. marriage should be a happy union of two families... kafi marriage is hard as it is..
ReplyDeleteana my parents' parents both ma rethaw from both sides... my parents just decided not to marry any one else.. eventually, three years later, their parents gave in.. 30 years later, my mom is the most loved channa 3nd ahal uboy.. and my dad is the best son in law 3nd ahal ummi.. Go figure...
Fa... etha gedar yeqna3 ahala.. Go for it.. Bss enna yakhthechh qasbennn 3alaihum... Its not worth it! You deserve to be loved by ur inlaws... cuz ur worth much more.