Me, Myself, & I

Razeen (2)

2009-07-21T12:16:00.004+03:00

Previously on Razeen…

Dareen: god help me!

******************************
Dareen: show me his picture... bas I don’t want any 9admaat!

Lulu: ee ok, here it is...

Dareen: madrii, 6weel w th3eef w 5ashma kbeer w 3youna r too small hmm…

Lulu: maynoona? Iyanin!!

Dareen: hmm, ADREEEE he's perfect!!!! Show me ba3ad pics!!

Lulu: eb hathy m8ater, w eb hathy I think in sharm, w hathi I'm guessing bel gym w hathy bel sayara …

Dareen: stop! Go back!!

Lulu: ay 9oora tabeen?

Dareen: the one with the black shirt on

Lulu: hathee?

Dareen: ee

Lulu: laish?

Dareen: he's gorgeous!

Lulu: shelfarg bain hal 9oora w el bajii?

Dareen: he isn’t thin, jesma 7elw! W his eyes, feehum shai

Lulu: madri ashouf hal 9oora methel el bajii

Dareen stayed quiet looking at the picture of her "perfect man" he looks like a good guy, a guy that would fill her with love and passion, a guy that would be her man, her everything.

Dareen: shenu el pass? W shenu el email?

Lulu wrote the information down on a paper and left to go home after dinner.

As soon as Lulu left, Dareen went to her room opened the laptop and went on msn…

Uff waina?! Laish mu dash? Hehe Lulu mu 7a6a ela ohwa eb hal email? Hal bnaya maynoona!!

DING: Barak is online.

*3omra e6weel!*

Barak: halaw
Sara: hey
Barak: how are you?
Sara: fine you?
Barak: I'm not ok!
Sara: laish shfeek?
Barak: you promised me something!
Sara: shenu?
Barak: shda3wa ma tathkireen!
Sara: 9ij shenu ;s?

*what did lulu promise him?!*

Barak: yalla 3ad, 3an el dala3!
Sara: Barak shfeek! What did I promise? I forgot : (
Barak: you promised to open your cam for me
Sara: na3am? Sh8a9dik? 3aib 3alaik!
Barak: no no I just want to see shaklich!! 8a9de shareef wallah
Sara: ok ill put a pic on instead..
Barak: ok hehe:P

*min wain ayeebla pic al7een? Google!! Kah this one is good!!*
Sara changed her profile picture.
Barak: mu wath7a, aby '3airha
Sara: ma 3indi '3airha;(
Barak: yala 3aad

*ok wa7da shagra hehe this looks like the first one..*

Sara changed her profile picture.
Barak: hathi intai? Chathabaaa!!;p
Sara: lool laish?
Barak: la2ana ams 7a6aitai wa7da sha3arha aswad w elyoum wa7da shagra shlooon?
Sara: 9eba'3t sha3rii!!;p
Barak: yala 3aad ill open then you open ok?
Sara: yea
Barak: promise?
Sara: hehe yea
Barak opened web cam
Barak: haa shlone?
Sara: hehe you look nice
Barak: your turn
Sara: hehe ok only for 5 seconds!!
Barak: maashi 5 seconds

*shlone a7e6 cam! I never did this before! A5aaf he is a player:S ok kah my glasses, and kah el pillow 3ashan a8a6ee shakli w la y3arefny!!*

Sara: ok yala sawee accept;p!
Sara opened web cam
Sara: 1
Sara: 2
Barak: noooooooo
Sara: 3
Barak: Sara!
Sara: 4
Sara: 5

Web cam closed.

Sara: shfeek?
Barak: its not fair ba6lee 3adil!
Sara: la bas kafee!
Barak: please

*hehe ga3d ysawee 7arakaat bel cam shlone ma aba6el malii? *

Sara: hmm…Fine!

Razeen (1)

2009-07-20T13:49:00.002+03:00

Lulu: Kalmeeh 7elw!!

Dareen: la no way!

Lulu: laish?

Dareen: cause I don’t know him! I'm not gunna randomly talk to a guy on face book!!

Lulu: well, I don’t wanna talk to him, I have someone, and shoufeeh he is hot, I already started talking to him..

Dareen: iyour imbad3a! hehe how did you talk?

Lulu: messages on facebook… and I thought it was going to be fun, but I can't anymore, I have someone… and he wants to add me on face book now, so talk to him, for fun hehe

Dareen: I don’t even know how he looks like! No 7aram!

Lulu: ok I'm opening the face book messages, read then then I'll show you his picture ok ?

Dareen: fine hehe

FACEBOOK:

Baraak
February 28 at 4:03pm
mno?

Sara
February 28 at 4:04pm
mu3jaba

Baraak
February 28 at 4:06pm
hmm?

Sara
February 28 at 4:08pm
ok listen,ive seen you alot and im interested.

Baraak
February 28 at 5:52pm
sorry bas i dont know u ;S o shno metwa83a eny ared 3alaich?

Sara
March 1 at 10:02am
im sorry:$

Baraak
March 1 at 1:34pm
np ;p

Sara
March 1 at 3:10pm
So can we be friends??

Baraak
March 1 at 5:37pm
ok np ;p

Sara
March 8 at 8:14pm
aw thanks;*so how are u?

Baraak
March 8 at 9:37pm
good how about ur self?;p

Sara
March 9 at 10:51pm
fine:)

Baraak
March 10 at 4:47am
doom enshallah hows school?;p

Sara
March 10 at 12:35pm
malal, u?

Baraak
March 10 at 2:29pm
dawam men el 8 lama 6 el ma'3arb malal werhaa8 :Pp u in ack?

Sara
March 10 at 7:08pm
allah y3eenek!! how about i get to know you better then ill tell :P

Baraak
March 10 at 11:41pm
Lol haha ok bas u gayla uv seen me alo may I ask wain?;p

Sara
March 11 at 5:15pm
ee u may:Pive seen u once in chocolate bar il bidi3 and twice in avenues

Baraak
March 11 at 11:54pm
Lol ola ana marOo7 el avenues w chocolate bar wayed bel sennah marah esh3arefach eb my name ba9edech :p

Sara
March 12 at 12:24am
ow;/ yemkin wrong person ana asfa

Baraak
March 12 at 6:36pm
maybe who knows ;p meta hal 7achy ely eb chocolate bar?

Baraak
March 12 at 6:37pm
raye7 lately ;p btw u ay sem eb ack?:p

Sara
March 12 at 6:51pm
around,,, 2 weeks ago... madriii a5aaf tkoun wrong person:Shoney im not in ack i just put that in, i study in dubai

Baraak
March 12 at 9:01pm
lol ok ;p bass ga3ed at2akad men ma3lomaty ;p hehe bass how ur not sure o u saw my pics bel FB account ;p anyway yemken ana o yemken la2 ;p entay o she6artech ;p u'll know ;p

Loading...
Sara
March 13 at 12:23am
haha well if u the guy or not doesnt matter anymore, cause sha6arti tgouli inik cuter than the guy and isloobik 3ajebny whether ur him or not:)

Sara
March 13 at 12:23am
ur*

Baraak
March 13 at 1:32am
Hehhehe merci ;p a7ragteny 9ara7a :p so entay 3ajbech el wath3 ena kelyoom 2 msgs bel fb ?

Baraak
March 13 at 1:33am
;p

Sara
March 13 at 8:27am
haha what do u mean?9ara7a maby i ask u for more a5af ur busy, i dont want to thagel;$u 3ajbik?

Baraak
March 13 at 2:59pm
Lol no kel esboo3 en5ale9 salfa may9eer cheenah wayed e6wala ;p want me 2 add u bel msn?(A)

Sara
March 13 at 11:57pm
ahahaha sure, whats your email?

Baraak
March 13 at 11:58pm
Baraak_**hotmail.com

Lulu: shrayech?

Dareen: laish you have a facebook account I don’t know about? W laish ib Dubai haha

Lulu: bas for fun!

Dareen: and what do you expect me to do?

Lulu: I started to talk to him on msn lately, so how about you continue..

Dareen: madri, I feel bad, eny akalem '3air 9ager

Lulu: noo la tkalmeeny just as friends and enjoy his company, w ba3dain you and 9ager barely kalamtaw ba3ath, bas msn, w maraaaaaat messages, w mara phone ib 3eed meeladich, w you never saw ela weya el group do bas, forget him!!

Dareen: hmm, madri we'll c…

Lulu: there are more lies hehe

Dareen: what? (Shocked)

Lulu: ee he thinks baba is dead hehe

Dareen: laish tfawleen ya 7mara hehe!

Lulu: it's not true!

Dareen: god help me!

Hurt 4

2009-07-20T13:21:00.001+03:00

Previously on Hurt...
I ran out of starbucks and left him there just staring at me leave, I needed to breathe, I neededspace.
********************************************

I waited all this time for him, my sweetheart, my baby… do I want to be his? I'm his second? I'm standby? No. I won't be. I can't be. I deserve better!!

I needed time to think, to escape! I took the first flight back to Kuwait.

I arrived at 3am, the driver only knew I was coming and I told him not to tell mama, I saw the driver he came to take my bags into the car.

Driver: ahhh Tammy!! Mama not know you come?

Tammy: hiiii!! No don’t tell her! I want to surprise her!

Driver: ok wait here I will bring the car

Tammy: ok, I'm going to get something to drink and come.

I went into starbucks and ordered orange juice. Went back to the car which was parked in front of the door, I rode in the back seat, listened to my iPod and closed my eyes.

Driver: Tammy!

Tammy: huh?

Driver: we are here!

I looked at my watch and it was 3: 30am, I called my nannies cell and she opened the door, she knew it was a surprise too. We had our hugs and kisses and I headed to my room. I took off my trainers and took a shower, wore my pajamas and slept like a baby. I was home! I left my phones switched off, I needed time alone.

The next day
Mama's yammering outside my door woke me up, but I stayed in bed acting asleep.
Mama: Jema (my nanny) why did you forget to clean here? And here? And here? What have you been doing all day? Did you clean the children's rooms?

Jema: hehehe yes madam hehe

Mama: why are you laughing? Am I joking with you? Why didn’t you clean today?

Jema: I did hehehehehehehe

Mama: ohhhhhhhhhhhhh JEMA!

Then I heard her footsteps walk away, and I fell asleep, moments later.

Mama: you cleaned her room?

Jema: madam no no very dirty don’t go inside I will clean today hehehe

Mama: ok move

Jema: no madam, you want tea? (blocking her from opening Tammy's closed door)

Mama: ok I want tea

Jema: ok (she walked away stupidly thinking mama gave up)

Mama opened the door and found nothing, the bed was set, and everything… she went in giving her back to the bathroom.

Mama: why didn’t you clean the bed! It's all messed up! Clean it all today! (she seemed disappointed, she thought she was going to be surprised by me..)

They left the room and mama's footsteps lead to down stairs. I looked at the time and it was 2:10 pm, mama, Jenan and baba eat at 2:30pm
I rushed and washed up wore something nice (jeans and a white vintage top) and watched mama sit in her place calling out for everyone to eat. Baba came and sat at the head of the table, mama on the side next to him and Jenan in front of mama. I usually sat beside mama or Jenan. Jenan saw me in the kitchen we said our hellos quietly, she started crying, and I told her not to go in till I did. So I came in casually kissed mama on the cheek and baba's head and sat next to mama. They thought I was Jenan not really looking at my face.

Baba: ha Jenan shlone senior year?

Tammy: ma adre babatii

Jenan came in.
Jenan: ha mama shenu el '3ada?

As soon as she came in they both looked up at me.

Mama: BINTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

She stood up started crying and I went and hugged her.

Baba: hahaha wallah ya Tamara inich mu hayna hahaha

I hugged baba and he had a tear in his eye. I love them so much! So we sat ate, mama was OVER excited! We decided to go out as girls, me mama and Jenan. Then baba would come for dinner after work.

I wish I could stay and not go back..

New?

2009-07-20T12:31:00.002+03:00

Hey ;** I'm sorry I haven't been posting but I'm not feeling the story lately, I don't feel like continuing it cause I have a better story in mind, so how about I write the new story, and when I feel comfortable with the second one I'll continue it? What do all my readers think? :$

Stuck?

2009-07-16T16:41:00.002+03:00

hey everyone I am so sorry but I am stuck, give me a couple of days and I will be back;*

Hurt 3

2009-07-12T14:56:00.003+03:00

Previously on Hurt...

We ate dinner and I excused myself earlier than usual, and went to my apartment, which was still in front of theirs. And silently cried myself to sleep. I cried for me, for what I have become, I cried for the empty bed I was sleeping in all alone, I cried for the several times dist 3ala nafse for a guy. I cried for me

**********************************************************************************

I woke up with my phone ringing "Te2a5artai - rashed al majed"

Tammy: aloo *sleepy voice*

Mama: 9aba7 el 5air mama!

Tammy: 9aba7 el nour mama

Mama: mita et3a6leen 7abeebty, 3irs fa6ma bint 5altich garab

Tammy: inshalla mama, i might come earlier than planned

Mama: inshalla mama, ma3a el salama

Tammy: bye

I missed my mom! I really wanted to see her soon, and with everything happening around me, I
want to be there as soon as possible!!

As soon as I closed the phone it rang again

Tammy: hmm?

3abdullah: Tamara. (serious voice)

Tammy: whats wrong? (he never called me that unless there was something wrong)

3abdullah: meet me at starbucks in 10 minutes its important

Tammy: alright

I closed the phone, rushed to wash my face, I wore my trainers, ponytailed my hair and got to

starbucks in 13 minutes. He was there, sitting on the couch with two drinks infront of him, mine
and his, since he knew what I always ordered. He looked sad, like he needed someone to hold
him, like he missed me, like he felt my pain.

As soon as he saw me he waved his hands and gestured me to go over to him. We said our hellos,
then I sat and drank a couple of sips from my latte.

Tammy: 3abood shfeek, you seem so sad!

3abdullah: I don’t know how to say this
T: how to say what?

3: that im not in love with her and never will be

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, what was he trying to say??

T: na3am?

3: I cant love 7essa, I don’t love her.

T: then who do you love

he looked up into my eyes

3: i love you

T: huh?

3: i still love you, i love everything about you!

T: stop! stop! this wont work! (i broke down)

3: why wont it work, baby don’t cry, we can make this work. (he held my arm)

T: she is carrying your baby... (i eventually blurted)

3: its not meant to be this way, its our baby, Tammy ana ma agdar ag3ad weyaha she is life less!
The look you had broke my heart last night, and when you left i knew you were going home to
cry your heart out, but i was stuck with her, i wanted you to be in my arms so i could calm you down but I couldn’t.

T: then why did you?! why did you go to her? why did you marry her? why did you put us
through this? why did you become her’s? (i managed to say this in one breath)

3: i had to! Im their only son! my father was sick, and he demanded that, I didn’t want to risk my fathers health, or wishes! you don’t know what its like to be me! but i was you now im choosing you!

it was killing me! what was i suppose to do? am i suppose to agree with him? but what about
7essa? she loves him! its not her fault. i looked at him with a blank face, what should i do i
thought...

T: adre 7abebe but what should we do now? What’s done is done. Ana rada el Kuwait in a week,
then im coming back in January for the next course.

3: don’t let me go,,(he held my hands in his)

T: I have no choice, you have a wife and shell make you feel better I promise you that.

3: don’t say that (tears of hurt and confusion and rage filled his eyes) STOP! YOU CANT LEAVE
ME! I NEED YOU! YOU CANT LET ME GO! I HAVE NOTHING WITHOUT YOU! STOP THIS!
GOD LOU 7ASA FEENY AL7EEN! BABY PLEASE…DON’T LEMME GO I NEED….

T: I love you

I knew these 3 words would calm him down in a matter of seconds… he came close to me and
hugged me real tight

3: I don’t know what to do without you, I have been living for you not her, and she knows that,
(he moved away and looked at me while I was looking down) ana baye at8adamlich in a matter
of months

I looked at him shocked with what he was saying!

T: and 7essa?

3: we are having a divorce

T: WHAT?

3: we both want that baby, there is no love between us! She is in love with her cousin and im in
love with you

T: and the baby?

3: her cousin talked to me and they are getting married after the baby is born, and well get
married in a couple of months, and the baby will be brought up with both us and them, we
decided to be close friends, and well hang out all the time, the four of us, and from what I have
known her cousin is amazing, and he is open minded, we wanted to tell you yesterday but you
left early and 7essa didn’t want to confuse you, so we decided that I would tell you w lama 7asait
ina you were backing of madri sh9ar feeny, ma kentia ma36yatny fur9a ashra7lich!

T: la7tha!

3: shenu?

T: ya3ni im yours?

3: yea

T: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I screamed and jumped into his arms I could
believe what I was hearing!

3: you’re my bride!!!

i ran out of starbuck and left him there just staring at me leave, i needed to breathe, i needed
space.

Hurt 2

2009-07-07T15:24:00.000+03:00

Sorry for the short post;*

Previously on Hurt...
We spent the last 2 weeks together then he left to Kuwait, and brought back his bride 2 weeks after…

********************************************************
2 years passed

3abdullah, 7essa (his wife), and I shared each day together. 7essa was open minded; I let her in to my life as she let me into her life. She knew about me and 3abdullah's past. When he fist told her about me all she said was, "we can all be friends right?" at that moment he fell in love with her, her open mind, her bubbly personality, her fun spirit.
She gave us our space. But shockingly the more space she gave us the less we felt towards each other and the more I was happy for them. She was beautiful, with her long black hair and her dark skin and light eyes. She was tall with a curvy body which she knew how to style. 7essa and I grew so close to each other! We hung out alone all the time, we went shopping, we had our girl bonds together. Every time she had problems with 3abdullah I helped her get through them, and talked to 3abdullah for her.

February 3rd

Incoming call

7essa: 7ayatiii!!

Me: hey sweety! How are you?

7essa: fine! Come over tonight! For dinner

Me: hehe ok at what time?

7essa: 7

Me: I'll be there

I was there with jeans and a simple white top, I didn’t like over dressing if Abdullah was there so no memories came back. We were all happy this way.

3abdullah opened the door welcoming me in with a big hug and we went into their living room. Sat on the couch. He had this spark in his eye, an unusual spark.

Tammy: 3abood what's wrong?

3abdullah: I want 7essa to tell you!!

Tammy: wainha?

3abdullah: 7ESSSAA!!! (he called out)

7essa: kani kani, baby wait.

Tammy: 7esso yalla!!

7essa: hehe kani kani.

7essa went and sat on 3abdullah's lap.

Tammy: so spill you two!

7essa: this is a present for you

7essa handed me a little box. I opened it to find a baby shoe.

3abdullah: turn the shoe! (They both giggled)

I turned the shoe wela katbeenlii:

To aunty Tammy, mommy is two months pregnant with me, and if I'm a girl my name is going to be Tammy too, please love me, congratulations xoxo

I looked up to find them both smiling, my heart ached, I know that we supposedly moved on, but I always wondered what if we ended up together, what if?

I hugged them both tearing from hurt!

3abdulla: shfeeech ya m3awda laish tabcheen?!

7essa: enta shtabe! They are tears of joy!

Tammy: yea hehe (I can't breathe!)

We ate dinner and I excused myself earlier than usual, and went to my apartment, which was still in front of theirs. And silently cried myself to sleep. I cried for me, for what I have become, I cried for the empty bed I was sleeping in all alone, I cried for the several times dist 3ala nafse for a guy. I cried for me.

Hurt 1

2009-07-06T10:47:00.002+03:00

Ok so I decided to write a new story, it isn’t true though… just bare with me cause I need to take care of my family and I promise ill try posting every now and then!! I hope you enjoy it;*
**********************************************************************

Hi everyone my name is Tamara. You can call me Tammy… I'm sure you all heard about me… well if you didn’t then let me tell you a bit about me. I'm your typical Kuwaiti girl, the one you always see dressed up in the latest fashion, I always have makeup on, I'm brunette, tall, tanned, and I have sharp features. My body is well curved, I work out regularly. It seems that I have everything, do I really?

I have been in several serious relationships. Well, two to be specific. The first one was with this guy called Ahmed. He was the ultimate bad boy but he was still my everything! We had a great time together for 3 years straight!! We met in London on my first year of university, and our apartments were somewhat close to each other. The most fun a girl could have was with him, but he played around a lot too!! I caught him five times with other girls. He came running back every time claiming I was the "one". But the way I caught him with the fifth, I just gave up on him!!

*Flash back*

Tammy: 7abeeby you promised me ina you stopped! This is the fourth time I have caught you with a girl!

Ahmed: baby! Tammy! This is me sweety! (making me fall for his charm as usual) I'm sorry beautiful.

T: yea whatever!

A: I swear ya 3omri! Ok you want me to make it up to you?

I eyed him, waiting for him to present his "making it up"

A: tomorrow at 8pm! Not earlier! Well meet at my place and I'll have a big surprise for you.

T: mashy ya ahmad! Ana mashya tabe shai?

A: amoot 3al 3a9abia, I love it when you speak Arabic

T: ok lemme go I wanna leave

I was struggling to move out of his big grip, he pulled me and sat me onto his lap.

T: stoooop!! *giggling*

A: so you like it when I tickle you huh? *laughing at my giggles*

T: baby stop I have to go home (he let me go). Bye (I kissed his lips and left)

I got home took a bath, I got out of the shower, saw his few missed calls but I didn’t reply indicating that I'm still not fine with catching him with yet ANOTHER girl. I changed into my lacy underwear and moisturized my body up and when to sleep. What a nice sleep I have not knowing what was facing me the day after.

I woke up at 12pm! I went to the beauty parlor fixed my nails and colored them with a dark shade or red to match up with my tanned color, waxed my body, styled my hair into big curls, so the lighter streaks shined to the outer side. Just the way he likes it.

I got home and it was 6pm, what harm was it if I went a little early right? So I wore a mini black dress, with my back revealed, I accessorized in silver and wore my red heels. My make up was simple as usual, the fine eyeliner line with a brush of blush and red lipstick.

I was ready to take off, I made sure everything was closed, all the windows, the stove, the door. I knew I was sleeping over at his place tonight. I got to the elevator wore my coat, and pressed -1 while looking at myself in the mirror and fixing anything extra that needed fixing. I took out my phone

Compose message: I know it's still 6:30 ;( but I'm on the way baby;*

I stared at my phone for a couple of minutes? Should I send it? Hmm no! I want to surprise him; I smiled at my thought and to his reaction. I deleted the message.

The elevator opened, and I lifted my head to find the perfect angel! He had broad shoulders, his brown hair, his tanned skin, and his hazel eyes. He smiled to me as I smiled back and got out of the elevator. I turned back to look at him one more time but the elevator was already heading up…

It took me exactly 3 minutes to get to Ahmed's apartment, I knew where the key was hidden so I let myself in. the house was filled with lighted up candles. I heard giggling, a girls giggling!

I went into his room smashing the door to the wall!

Tammy: this is you making it up to me?!

Ahmed: it's not what you think!

Tammy: it's not what I think?! You're both in bed together! NAKED!

The girl: what's her problem?!

Ahmed: shut up! (He shoved her off of him)

I had a lot to say that day, but I didn’t want to, cause if I did he was going to find his way back into my heart someway, so I just left. I spent days and days crying until I met Abdullah…

Obviously the second was Abdullah. He was the perfect man, he loved me more than life itself, we had adventures together, we did everything together, and we practically lived together. This is the story behind us…

*Flash back Abdullah's side*

I hate moving apartments! But I guess this one is going to be bigger and closer to the university! I was waiting for the elevator to open up so I can go up and finally relax after a long day of finishing up my apartment. I had coffee in my hand and I looked so tiered. The elevator opened and I found the hottest girl yet! She was gorgeous; I couldn’t help but smile to her. She was probably not interested and had somewhere to be so I just took the elevator up to the third floor thinking of her till I fell asleep.

I woke up half an hour later to hear someone crying outside my door, hurtful cries. I rushed to my door and opened it, but there was no one. It was the apartment in front of me. Someone just got in and locked the door. So I went up to their door and knocked the door.

A girl: Ahmed! Shtabe bas ana malait!!

Abdullah: Ana mu Ahmad ba6lai el bab! Please just open the door!

The girl finally opened the door. She was in a short black dress and she was crying her eyes out. She was Kuwaiti!! Oh shit! I'm in my training pants, topless! Before I could turn and leave she closed the door. I got her coat and put it on her to cover her up.

A: shfeech yuba la tabcheen, tara el denya ma teswa

She just smiled, that innocent smile.

T: I know I don’t know you, bas your Kuwaiti 9a7?

A: yea..

T: can you hang around here till I change and come back, I need company.

A: whatever you need…

I went and sat on the couch watching TV and barely opening my eyes when ten minutes later she came out dressed in well covered trainers.

She explained what happened to me and I enjoyed listening to her. At 12am we called it a night and I left to my apartment. There is something different in that girl, what could it be?

*Tammy's Flash back of their breakup*

2 years later

We were sitting in starbucks. I was wearing a casual dress and he was wearing jeans, a black polo, and a sweater. It was so cold this time of year.

He looked at me with hurt, confusion, tears in his eyes.
Tammy: baby shfeek?

Abdullah: my parents…

Tammy: shfeehum?

Abdullah:….

T: baby what's wrong? (I stroke his arm)

Abdullah: umi e56ebatly wa7da, and they are forcing me to marry her

I looked at him questioning whether this was a joke?! When I realized it was not I burst into tears.

T: I don’t care! Talk to them! You're not going to marry her! Your mine baby please (crying)

A: I know baby, I know. Don’t cry. Baby their decision is made.

T: what about me? What about us?

A: I know baby I'm dying here.

He held my hand and we both drained ourselves.

T: I have to let you go?

A: no baby!

T: then?

A: I'll do whatever you want!

T: be here for me, whenever I need you, be my friend be mine even when you're with her, think of me.

A: and just like we always agreed, if anything happens, I'm going to call my daughter with your name. And baby if things aren’t working out with me and her, I'm going to divorce her and marry you alright baby?

T: yea baby (crying). Bas shlone banam belail bedounik? Menu benayemny?!

A: akeed ana! Kil laila bakalmich w banaymich, la t7ateen!

T: what about her

A: bafahemha kilshai, w etha ma fhemat kaifha!

T: hehe ok (smiled within my cries)

A: and if you find someone

T: agoolik 3ala 6ool!

A: hathy bnayte!

We spent the last 2 weeks together then he left to Kuwait, and brought back his bride 2 weeks after…

**************************************************************
Please give me your opinion;*

Im baq:)

2009-07-06T09:42:00.001+03:00

Hey everyone! I'm back with a new story! This story is fully dedicated to Micky;* I love all my readers and bloggers!! I hope you like it;** Btw I need to know something, do you all want bad parts or do you want the story to be fully clean with no bad parts? its your call;*

Part 53 The wedding The end

2009-06-13T11:35:00.004+03:00

Khalid: 9aba7 el 5air

He kissed me on the lips gently

Lama: hi *sleepy voice*

Khalid: el naas ygouloon hi? *laughing*

Lama: no ygooloon cha m el sa3a *smile*

Khalid: el sa3a 10

I jumped out of bed into the bathroom washed up then rushed into the bedroom to dress up and

Khalid was following me the whole time calming me down

Lama: OUR WEDDING IS TODAY! I have to leave!

Khalid: calm down 7abeebty wain betroo7een now?

Lama: el bait

Khalid: 3ayal yaay weyaach

He dressed up and washed up even before I was done dressing up, then came and hugged me

from the back slowly

Khalid: feeling better?

Lama: I'm still sore *I looked down in embarrassment*

Khalid: its ok baby, ill make you feel better tonight, on the plane

Lama: plane?

Khalid: our honeymoon, SURPRISE!

Lama: baby no no no! aren’t we suppose to travel after your job gives you a holiday

Khalid: well I pulled some strings and we are jetting off tonight

Lama: what about me, ma jahazt stuff

Khalid: baby that’s not necessary, abeech tshareen 3ala kaifich there, abeech you get ely bnafsich, so elyoum ensafer ib 4 bags fatheen, w nrid in a month w ohma matrooseen

I smiled at the man infront of me, my dream is coming true, I love him

Lama: ok then, bas may I know wain menroo7?

Khalid: no, each destination is a surprise

Lama: your killing me!

Khalid: baby shh just enjoy it *kissed my cheek*

Lama: ok can you at least tell me what time the flight is and for how long, since our wedding IS

tonight!

Khalid: it's at 3am, and we are leaving for a month

Lama: our parents…

Khalid: stop worrying and let me worry for you, today is our day

Khalid and I made out for a while then he drove my car home, the garden looked like heaven, they made it look beautiful! Our wedding was going to be there by the way, but I ran around

fixing some stuff and changing others.

At 12 the massage women arrived and I went up to my room to get my massage while Khalid

hung around my father and Faisal.

Two hours later I left my room exhausted, when 2 women came in and started fixing the

unfixable nails I had.

Then my mom's schedule said I had to have my beauty sleep until six, which I did after Khalid came in and said goodbye so he can go get ready himself.

I woke up at 6 by Abdulmajeed singing 3omri ma fakart feeeek oo la 6arah fel baal 7obak, lain

galbi gal abeeek oo galat e3yooni a7ebak.

Lama: aloo *sleepy*

Khalid: goomai madaamty!!

Lama: bnaam

Khalid: sim3aay (I KNOW YOU WANT MAAAI U KNOW I WANT YAH )

Lama: Khalid!! Ga9er shh banaam

Khalid: el sa3a 8 mita betgoomeen?

Lama: chathaaaaaaaaaaaab! *I woke up staring at the watch trying to think properly* akrehek

Khalid: hahahaha yala yal daloo3a goomai

Lama: ok ok bye!

Khalid: ok ya rou7y bye

Lama: bye *nafsia*

I got up, washed up and called my mom to come in check on me and bring in the saloon people. The makeup lady took an hour just doing her thing, it looked so pretty, simple, but it made me look like the elegant bride and I loved it. Then they started styling my hair based on our earlier tries; it was styled to go up, in a simple way, with my hair twisting in on each side. I swear it looked hot!!

When I was done all this it was at 8, I got into my white dress. I put on my Oscar de la Renta dress, and the comfortable extra high heels, my mom put on all the jewelry on for me, and then I took about half an hour to pose for pictures. After that was done, I heard them announcing that the bride will enter in a couple of minutes and for everyone to take their place. Our wedding, by the way, was both men and women. But Khalid was still going to come in, in the typical manner.

When I got at the bottom of the stairs they took some pictures and I was so nervous I was going to cry. The music started playing and I was to walk down the aisle now, just like I practiced, don’t fall lama don’t fall!!! Each few steps I would take pictures and walk then stop take pictures and walk to I got to my kosha. My sisters helped me get seated and looking at the place it was gorgeous! Just like a dream. Moments later everyone came to pose in pictures with me.
Hala looked gorgeous, I haven’t seen her for a while now, we took pictures then she sat next to me.

Hala: abashrich?

Lama: ee shfeech?

I felt bad for her, for losing her baby, but it wasn’t right, it wasn’t her fault, her sister understood that, her sister helped her, they both went to the doctor in Lebanon and got rid of it,

it wasn’t too soon, she needed to let go, and she had a surgery that meant she was a girl again, I felt good for her, it wasn’t her mistake, she was raped. And I couldn’t be there for her, I was in Europe with my family. I love this girl.

Hala: en5e6abt. He knows, he is ok with what happened knowing it isn’t my fault. Imagine I'm next!!!

Lama: I wish I could scream but I cant, I am so happy for you *I smiled*

Hala: a5aleech 7abeebty *smiled*

This went for an hour, people taking pictures and all then it was announced that Khaloodi was coming in.

My heart started beating fast, I couldn’t wait! I saw him come in slowly staring just at me, not anyone else, his smile was shining the whole room, he looked so handsome with his broad shoulders and his shaved face. My baby! He came to our kosha, knelt and kissed my head then we took half an hour to pose for pictures.

I wanna ask all the unmarried girls this. You know when you are in a wedding and the groom is sitting next to the bride, and he says something to her, and she starts giggling? Well Khalid was sitting next to me, holding my hand and came close to whisper into my ear, I giggled before he said anything.

Khalid: ajmal ma fel koon, w ajmal ma eb hal 9ala, I want you to be mine forever, Lama, mu m9adeg inich malti, I can't wait till this is over and well be alone together, I want to show you how much I love you.

I looked into this man's eyes and smiled.

I mean I looked into my husband's eyes and smile :)

Me

2009-05-26T22:21:00.002+03:00

This post is to see where your minds will take you;p
I'm sure you all know that my name isn't "Lama",, and none of you are sure if this is a real story or not,,,

For the people who think this story is real :
Who do you think my personality is like from the girls you know...

For the people that think this story is fake:
Who do you think I am from the girls you know...

You can have 5 names, and just first names, with the letter of the last name;P

Example:

Real story:
1-dana o.
2-hala i.
3-lama f.
4-jula d.
5-kala j.

Fake story:
1-bebe m.
2-yasmeena o.
3-lolowa b.
4-reem a.
5-Jana a.

Get it? Lets ok;**

Part 52

2009-05-23T12:25:00.002+03:00

Sorry 3al g9oor, there are bad parts, Im am WARNING you!

********************************************

Back in Kuwait …
,
,
,
Messaging Khalid:

I miss you

1 message from Khalid:

I do too baby

Messaging Khalid:

Mu kethry;*

1 message from Khalid:

Your right! Cause ana more;*

I smiled at his message, I was so happy my Khalid was back, I had a second chance with him, and I respected all the rules now, and I really didn’t care, we were getting MARRRRRRIED!!

The wedding was a week away, and it was hectic for me. I had to do everything, because I didn’t want anyone like my mom or sisters to mess it up for me. I wanted the perfect wedding!

.
..
…
….
…..
……
…….
……..

4 days before the wedding

Khalid and I were out getting ice-cream, celebrating the few days we had left as a non married couple…

" When I think back On these times And the dreams We left behind I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get To have you in my life When I look back On these days I'll look and see your face You were right there for me In my dreams I'll always see you soar Above the sky In my heart There always be a place For you for all my life I'll keep a part Of you with me And everywhere I am There you'll be "

Khalid lowered the music

Khalid: Lama

Me: hmm?

Khalid: if I ever lied to you would u forgive me?

Me: *shocked* it depends

Khalid: would you eventually forgive me?

Me: yea I guess

Khalid: ok, shfeech btabcheen?

Me: ib shenu you lied?

Khalid: no baby nothing im just asking

Me: sure?

Khalid: yea

Me: I would rather know minik than to be told by someone else

Khalid: I promise *kissed my hand*

Why would he ask me that? Is he cheating on me? NO! he wouldn’t! its 5aloodi, I love him so much! He is my baby! He was probably just asking, forget about it lama!

I went home that night thinking about everything we talked about that day… I trust
him.. Well I think I do..

The next day I woke at 5 pm up to find 7 missed calls and 1 message.

2 missed calls: mama

1 missed call: 5a6eeby;*

4 missed calls: Hala

1 message from Khalid: 9aba7 il 5air ya ajmal warda, I can't wait till you're in my arms In two days … I'm never going to let you go baby;*

Dialing 5a6eebi;**

Me: Alo *sleepy voice*

Khalid: 7ayati, tawich ga3da?

Me: yea

Khalid: you sound so sexy

Me: hehe don’t lie

Khalid: I swear you do!

Me: emwah

Khalid: fedaitich!

Me: baby bacher bakoun ib your arms!

Khalid: I can't wait!

Me: me neither

Khalid: what are you going to be wearing

Me: nothing.

Khalid: 9ij walla?! *excited*

Me: no hehe

Khalid: 3ayal?

Me: shenu tabeeny albis?

Khalid: something sexy

Me: ok I'll give you choices and you'll get to pick alright?

Khalid: ok, go!

Me: I have a mini lingerie white dress that’s see through, puts my breasts out with a thong… or a white bra with a thong,,, or…

Khalid: shhh

Me: shfeek?

Khalid: I want you

Me: now?

Khalid: yea

Me: hmm ,, you can wait

Khalid: no I can't, I have been telling you I want you for so long and you have been
making me wait for months now

Me: baby isn’t that what you wanted from the beginning?

Khalid: yea baby, before we were married, but now we are officially malcheen!

Me: hmm

Khalid: baby please, I can't take this anymore!

Me: wain?

Khalid: my house

Me: your family?

Khalid: chalet

Me: what should I wear?

Khalid: surprise me

Me: when?

Khalid: now.

Me: bye.

I rushed out of bed and into the bathroom, washed up and wore my black lingerie, it was like a dress that covered my ass and I was wearing a thong, it looked hot with my short hair and my smoky make up, I wore a "easy to open" dress with heels, I put perfume on and as I was about to leave the house..

Mama: Lama shhal kash5a, wain ray7a?

Me: baroo7 ashouf Khalid!

Mama: wain mama?

Me: ib baithum

Mama: 5altich tawha mkalmatne w ahalah mu bel bait!

Me: ee adre yoma *UFFFF WAHGA SHAGOOL*

Mama: *smiling* mama I know your official bas wait till bacher…

Me: mama!!! Rayle, w kaifi BYE! *I was just angry out of embarrassment!*

Mama: hahahahahahahahhahahaha

I left the house and when I got to his I called him…

Me: alo

Khalid: come in

Me: ay baab?

Khalid: ely jedaam

Me: bas,,, el neighbors

Khalid: shfeech? Mu murty?

Me: mbala *shy*

Khalid: yala bye

He opened the door and he was wearing a gamee9 and jeans, he had a dirty beard the way I liked it… and his smell, it was amazing!

PEOPLE! I haven’t kissed him or touched him in any sexual way for around a year now! I missed him, I wanted him, I needed him!

Khalid leaned in to kiss me but I walked into the 9ala and sat on the couch, it was so romantic how there were candles everywhere, he closed the shades, locked both doors so no one comes in.

Me: a5aaf a7ad eye..

Khalid: la baby I messaged them and told them not to come back home tonight, and kalamt my mom to talk to yours so that my mom would sleep at your house tonight cause your sleeping here.

Me: Ya fashlity! *shy!*

Khalid: we need to talk before we do anything, because I don’t want you to regret anything…

Me: what baby?

He sat next to me and looked me in the eyes

Khalid: t7ibeeny?

Me: ofcourse

Khalid: meta akthar now or gabel?

Me: 9ara7a? now!

Khalid: baby, don’t get mad from what I'm about to say, but I didn’t regain my memory back... not of you at least… but I fell in love with you again, and the only reason I didn’t tell you this is because I didn’t want you to leave me, I needed another chance…

Me: ok

Khalid: ok?

Me: I'm shocked

Khalid: I know baby I'm sorry *he pulled me closer to him*

Me: I love you,,, that’s all I care about, and I'm so happy you did that

Khalid: so happy?

Me: you promised me you were never going to let me go, and you didn’t, you held on tight, all the way

He kissed my head

Khalid: I have something for you

Me: what is it?

He took me to his room, where there was a small box on his bed

Khalid: open it

I opened the box and there was a necklace that said "KL"

Me: allah!! I love it!

Khalid put the necklace on for me, took the box off the bed, and started to kiss me, on the lips, I missed this kiss, I loaned for it… I kissed him back as I took his shirt off, he went back

Khalid: show me what your wearing

Me: sit down here *I pointed to the bed*

He sat down just wearing his jeans and his body looked so hot, manly and muscular, with his legs open wide, I stood in between them and started to slowly open the
buttons of my dress till it was off…

Khalid: turn around

I slowly turned around showing off my body to my husband…

Me: 7elw (dala3)

Khalid: 7elw mama 7elw

I stood facing him, he was touching me all over, as if it was the first time he has seen a girl in front of him which I loved, he felt me body up slowly with his warm hand, then
picked me up and slowly placed me on the bed…

Khalid: you want me?

Me: mhm *looking into his eyes*

Khalid slowly took off my dress and felt up my breasts, then took off my thong till I
was completely naked, I took off his pants and his boxers… he started to kiss me on my neck and my breasts, till we were both turned on to our limits…

Khalid: ada5la?

Me: a5aaf

Khalid: min shenu?

Me: aa5aaf y3awer *I looked down shyly*

Khalid: la baby ana ma a3awerich

Me: akeed?

Khalid: yea baby when you get hurt tell me to stop mashy?

Me: yalla… *he slowly put it in, and I slowly moaned, the more he slowly and delicatly put it in the more I moaned* stop, stop!

Khalid: baby bas da5alt shwaia

Me: iy3awer

My eyes were tearing, I was hurt

We went through that a couple of times, every time it went in deeper and deeper till it was fully in, I moaned so much at that point, and I bled a lot,,, we cuddled for a while, and I was crying, I was hurt, he hugged my tight

Khalid: baby la tabcheen

Me: *crying*

Khalid: I know it hurts baby, bas you have to go through this, your going to enjoy it later on, baby please stop crying…

What is wrong with me? I couldn’t stop crying

Khalid: yal daloo3a basich *he kissed my upper back*

Me: mu daloo3a, Khaloodi, you aren’t feeling what I'm feeling!

Khalid: I know baby I know, just bare with me…

We slept in each other's arms that night.

Inah lillah wa ina illayhi raji3oon.

2009-05-20T21:46:00.002+03:00

Inah lillah wa ina illayhi raji3oon.

One of my closest friends passed away, and this is the reason i am not being able to continue the story, so please all i need is support, not harsh comments, just bare with me, i need you all.

Sara

2009-05-10T14:58:00.001+03:00

Hi everyone, my friend, Sara, has a problem she is facing and she talked to me about it, I gave her my opinion but she wanted yours too… I told her to write it up, so here it goes… love you;**

"I have a problem, please help me out...
My boyfriend and I have a healthy and stable relationship. When we were about to get into trouble with my family, he opened up to his mother about me. (This all happened behind my back).His mother agreed but he was sure his father wasn't going to. Then he changed towards me, he fought for any reason and screamed a lot... I was very patient and when I asked why that was he explained everything to me and told me that his father was probably not going to say yes for a reason he mentioned... and that he was acting different so I can give up on him, which I didn't do.

I decided that I was better off without him and left him two weeks ago. Today, we hit into each other, accidently at his university, while I was picking up a friend. He came up to me and he was like, "I got a message that you were here and I jumped out of class to see you" I smiled and excused myself and left. An hour later he messaged me telling me how much he was sorry and that he couldn't live without me and that he will stand up for me. He also came by to my house and dropped off a letter that explained what happened and how much he regretted it. I called him back and told him how much I was hurt and that I loved him but I really don't want to ruin his relationship with his father. He agreed and apologized a lot and promised not to hurt me again and that he would stand up for us to be together. I love him. He gave me a couple of days to figure it out, and see if I'm willing to get back with him, what should I do? I'm lost :(

Shasawe?"

New?

2009-05-10T11:52:00.002+03:00

hey everyone, i was thinking of finishing up my story in a reallly long post, then starting a new one... agree?

Part 51

2009-05-05T23:32:00.002+03:00

Hey everyone thanks for your support;*
************************************

Previously on Me Myself and I:

Khalid: I remember.Me: you remember?Khalid: I remember youMe: BABY REALLY? *my eyes were full of tears by now!*Khalid: ee 7ubi, I remember youMe: baby!!I hugged him and he carried me and started to kiss my headKhalid: but we are changing a lot.

Me: what do you mean baby?

Khalid: ya3ni no more playing around, and acting childish, no more kissing hugging and such things, I'm going to forget the past now, all the stupid things we did, bas I don’t want anything to ruin us baby, ana shareech, I want you, and not in the same way I did, I don’t want your body, I want you, the Lama that stayed up with me in the hospital and helped me regain my memory, I want the Lama that is thoughtful, and I'm sure after we get married well do everything your dirty mind desires. *he grinned*

Me: you mean your dirty mind *I was shy, I bit my lower lip and looked down*

Khalid: ya3ni mista7ya ma3a il wayh? *he smiled*

Me: I looked up into his eyes and pecked him sexy lips.

He pushed me away.

Khalid: I'm not going to tell you again. *his face expression changed into rage*

I looked down with a tear in my eye. Our bodies were still close though, so he hugged me closer to him, and whispered into my ear.

Khalid: baby, please I don’t want to lose you so stop this.

I was embarrassed, how I could be in this situation, love needs more than just "love" and "feelings" I needed the lust too!! I needed his touch and kiss…

5 months passed

There was a month to the wedding…We never talked about the past a lot since we had our minds set on the wedding date which was in a month. Khalid, Um Khalid, Me, and Mama traveled to Paris and Italy to get our dresses and wedding things. Khalid and I couldn’t be alone for more than 10 minutes with our mothers around. We never talked about us it was all about the wedding… I'm sure brides know what I am talking about!! The only thing we really did talk about alone was our HONEYMOON!!

He couldn’t regain his memory of our plans so I helped him, and he made the arraignments. We were to travel the next morning after the wedding. We were going to go back to Italy and take a cruise around Europe.

*PARIS*

Khaloodi and I were eating breakfast in our hotel down stairs.

Khalid: cruise ib shar6!

Me: shenu?

Khalid: talbiseenly bikini! *his face turned red*

Me: ee I know baby!!

Khalid: wain our mothers?

Me: naymeen

Khalid: laish what time is it?

Me: 9 am!!

Khalid: ok let's go alone and buy some!

Me: buy what?

Khalid: swimsuits…

Me: w our mothers?

Khalid: 5alhum naymeen

Me: akeed?

Khalid: yea they are happy about this, let's give them some time, they can manage, they are best friends after all *he smiled*

Me: Khaloodi yala goum

He got up and held my hand as we walked to the store. We looked like the perfect couple. I was
wearing a short white dress that was body fit with gold flats, my hair was in a bun, I had simple makeup, and I had hoop earrings. Khalid was wearing his Dolce trainers.

We got to the shop and went in.

Khalid: hello, may I please see your collection of swimwear.

We looked through the men's collection first and we picked out 3 bathing suits for Khalid. A yellow one that would look great with his tan (to be). And a black and blue one that we liked.

When it came time for the women's collection Khalid continuously grinned. We chose four bathing suits. A full bathing suit that was black and had an opening throughout the stomach. The other two were bikinis one was red and the other was gold. And the last one was his favorite, it was also yellow, and the handles were braided, the stomach was opened and it would look good with my tan (to be).

We went back home hand in hand, talking about embarrassing stories, and how it would be fashla when I sit bil kosha and he comes in. the whole wedding scenario!!

We got back to the hotel and our mothers were in the lobby eating breakfast. It was 11:30…

Mama: wainkum?!

Khalid: re7na nishtiry cham sha8la

5altie: w laish ma tgouloun?!

Khalid: baroo7 weya Lamooy! 8a9eb?!

Mama: brou7kum haa?

Me: ee mama *BLUSH*

5altie: Shenu sharaitaw??

I looked at Khalid and we burst out laughing, I couldn’t help it, we both blushed and laughed so much!!

Khalid: baina Yuma!!

Mama: 5aleehum 5aleehum, myanan *laughing*

BACK!

2009-05-05T15:53:00.003+03:00

IM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK;*
i love you all and i am so sorry for taking so long, but i needed a break from everything;*
im going to start posting tonight;* i love you all, And i miss you all;*
***************** STAAAAAAY TUNED*******************

Part 50

2009-04-22T16:19:00.001+03:00

An hour later we were in my car driving around… I showed him a couple of places we visited before, and then I told him each story we had in each place.

We got to Baskin Robins…

Khalid: ha 7abooba shenu taben?

Me: vanilla!

Khalid: with chocolate

Me: no baby I can't eat chocolate I have allergies.

Khalid: oh ok, what should I take?

Me: you mean what do you like?

Khalid: hehe yea

Me: cotton candy

Khalid: ok *he held my hand*

We sat there ordered our ice creams, ate up, and hung out.

2 hours later I dropped him to his car and we left to go home…
Khalid Calling

Khalid: haaaa baby

Me: ha 7abebe

Khalid: I want to see you after tomorrow

Me: where?

Khalid: chalet

Me: w your family?

Khalid: they aren’t going

Me: ok

BEEP BEEP BEEP

We didn’t talk since that phone call. The day after I woke up dressed up into my juicy tracksuit, straightened my hair and brought along my big Louis V. bag… I got into the car and messaged him telling him I was on the way, when I got there

Dialing Khalid:

Me: baby

Khalid: hala baby

Me: I'm out

Khalid: yala kane, do you see me?

Me: yea baby!

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I got out and gave him a big hug!!

Khalid: come here baby

Me: I missed you

I looked deep into his eyes

Khalid: me too…

We both smiled at each other

Khalid: come on in

He opened the door

What do you want me to say?!

The room was filled with all the memories I showed him! All the pictures we took when we first met! Our baby pictures together, flowers banner that says, "You're all mine, happy anniversary"! I turned to look at him

Me: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Khalid: agoolich shay?

Me: ee!!

Khalid: I remember.

Me: you remember?

Khalid: I remember you

Me: BABY REALLY? *my eyes were full of tears by now!*

Khalid: ee 7ubi, I remember you

Me: baby!!

I hugged him and he carried me and started to kiss my head

Khalid: but we are changing a lot.

Part 49

2009-04-21T16:55:00.004+03:00

You guys I'm so sorry but I have a lot of things happening these couple of days, family is flying in and out for a wedding so I'm trying to give you mini parts till I'm completely back;****

******************************

I sat there talking with enthusiasm, I told him about the days we met and how we were as kids, I told him everything we talked about, everything we did, I told him about Jassim and Hala, I told him about our precious kisses, hugs, how romantic he was.

2 hours later

Me: haha w mara you traveled without telling me and I got SOOO mad!!

Khalid: lol are you serious?

KNOCK KNOCK

Khalid: come in

Waiter: sir, madam, do you want to order sweets?

Khalid: tabeen 7ubi?

Me: hmm la not from here

Khalid: no thank you, just green tea please

Me: make that two

Waiter: ok sir

She left the room and closed the door behind her.

Khalid: we have been through a lot huh?

Me: yea *I looked down, I missed him, I swear, no one would understand but I did*

Khalid: how many months were we together?

Me: hmm, may, june…..april… OMG

Khalid: what?

Me: our one year anniversary would be… after tomorrow!

Khalid: *speechless*

I had tears in my eyes, readers please try to understand me, I was in love with a man I shared everything with! We did everything together! We thought alike! And at the end he forgets it all. He doesn’t even remember me, he doesn’t love me in the same way or as much, and he doesn’t know all the things we did together. AND our anniversary is in 2 days! That’s the day we are suppose to give each other things, and that’s suppose to be when we remember everything we did in the past year, but where is that person? Imagine you are in my place! At least if he died (l7amdillah he didn't) but if he did! I would still celebrate it alone with all the memories of him knowing that he left me with all of these wonderful days. But to be with someone you will have to celebrate this day with! A person that has no connection with your past. The same person that left all the memories to you and every time you see him/her you want to blurt out an "inside joke" but cant because this person now is like any random person and wouldn’t get it!

It hurt. My heart hurt. My throat hurt. I felt like knives were piercing into it. Tears escaped me eyes and rolled off of my cheeks. I wanted him to be like "HAHA JOKING I REMEMBER" or "GOT YA!" but he sat there just staring at me.

KNOCK KNOCK

Waiter: here are your tea sir

Khalid: thanks

Waiter: welcome

And she left the room

All I felt was his warm hand hold mine.

Khalid: don’t cry, I told you I'm going to try fixing everything.

Me: *I smiled with sorrow*

Part 48

2009-04-20T16:32:00.001+03:00

He asked me to close my eyes, which I did…

I felt his hands cover my neck with something.

Khalid: open your eyes

Me: *speechless*

Khalid: you like it?

Me: I love it

As I got closer to him, to kiss his luscious lips he held my shoulders and moved me away.

Khalid: Lama shfeech?

Me: I want to give it back

Khalid: give what back?

Me: the present

Khalid: how?

Me: by a kiss

Khalid: lama how could you even think for a second that I would kiss you. I want you, I really do. Bas how do you expect me to let you give yourself to me itha ana I don’t know who I am yet! Aren’t you thinking about that? Don’t you think ina this would be wrong?

I started to tear, WAIN MY OLD KHALID?!

Khalid: shoufai lama. Ana aratheech with everything I can do. But don’t expect me aratheech 3ala wrong things you are doing.

Me: but… *tears escaped my eyes*

Khalid: but nothing.

I felt so embarrassed I couldn’t think straight. I just left the place and rushed to my car. I waited for a couple of minutes crying at the wheel but he did nothing. He didn’t come after me, NOTHING.

Compose message:

Khalid thanks so much but if this is the new you then I want the old one back. You don’t understand what we were. How can I explain. I want the old you back not this you!

1 message:

Wainich?

Compose message:

In my car

1 message:

Come inside.

I got out of the car and into the small room. He just sat there looking at me with tears in his eyes. I sat in front of him.

It was quiet for a couple of minutes

Khalid: shoufai lama. I don’t know what we were before. I didn’t get my memory back. And I might have done all this before but that’s not me anymore! I don’t remember anything! I fell in love with you now. On my ground! My rules! If I touched, kissed, etc. to you before then I pity myself for that. Because I know you are too precious to be touched or kissed right now. This is the man you are sticking with! I am not the same man I was before but I fell in love with the same girl and its either you accept that or ……

Me: I just miss you! The old you… you don’t understand what we had! It was priceless, we had our inside jokes, songs, certain things I can't have with anyone else… even you. I love you, but I'm in love with the old you… this might sound stupid but you differ a lot.

Khalid: I have an idea…

Me: hmm?

Khalid: how about we eat lunch while you tell me about how we met and everything that happened between us. Then after lunch we will go cruise in the car and you can tell me where we used to go, deal?

Me: ok

Khalid: come here

He pointed right next to him. I went there and kissed his eyes. So did he… we ordered food…

Khalid: ok yala tell me…

Me: it all happened when…

Part 47

2009-04-17T10:01:00.001+03:00

I KNOW I KNOW, its so short, walla ill post another one today, sorry;*

*************************************

3 HOURS LATER

I read the messages and my heart fluttered! 7abeeby wallah, why would he think ena I'm going to leave him 3ala shai sa5eef… he is really sensitive now… he doesn’t know that my life revolves around him no matter how much I keep telling him that!

Dialling Khaloodi

No Answer

Dialling Khaloodi

Khalid: aloo

Me: hmm aloo *sleeping voice*

Khalid: SORRY WALLA SORRY KINT BIL 7AMAAAM! *concerned*

Me: 7abeeby 3adi, shda3wa

Khalid: baby your voice

Me: shfeeh? *SHIT I SOUND LIKE A GUY WHEN I JUST WAKE UP!!!!!*

Khalid: it's so seductive

Me: hehe no it isn’t, I sound really bad

Khalid: if you think you sound bad, then keep speaking in this "bad way" cause you sound so sexy.. I want to see you so bad

Me: la mako *dala3*

Khalid: I need to see you to give you something

Me: ok, fine. Ra7 aba6ilek baab el sayara w enta mur 3ind il bait w 7e6a wel car w leave *haha tourcher*

Khalid: ily taamreen feeh

Ya 7abeeeeeby he is so cute and modest!

Me: bas hatha mu ely abe *dala3/ shy*

Khalid: 3ayal shenu ely tabeena?

Me: aby I c u

Khalid: then let's meet somewhere

Me: meshtahya sushi

Khalid: then wasabi?

Me: wasabi it is

Khalid: ok 7abeebty

Me: bas ma agdar I be late for Rula!!

Khalid: we won't take long, I promise

Me: ok

Khalid: 3a6eeny bosa

Me: no *extra DALA3*

Khalid: baby!!! Yala

Me: noo!

Khalid: mwwwwwwwwwwwwah

Me: wain a7e6ha?

Khalid: your lower lip

Me: ur naughty

Khalid: shoufai entai shemsawya feeny, then come and talk

Me: make it up to me and I'll make it up to you
Khalid: ok baby! How about we get up and change and meet there in half and hour

Me: mashy

Khalid: bye gumar

Me: bye bader

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEP

I got up, washed up, but I didn’t know what to wear, so I went into Rula's closet and took out this really cute top, which I wore with my skinny black jeans, and a waist belt and flats. Applied a bit of makeup and took my purple Balenciaga bag and left.

He called me while I got into the car and we negotiated about what food we were going to eat and itha rethait or not yet. 6AB3AAAAN I was in the nafsia mood because I wasn’t supposed to show how much I missed him. When I got into wasabi it was empty and the waiter took me to one the small rooms. Awal ma I got in I sat in front of him and I could smell his scent, MMM! It was so good, I wanted to do it right there! But luckily for us we still didn’t start doing things, he never tried, I think when I want him I should take charge, full charge.

Khalid: hala ib Lamooyti, hala ib umy, hala bel gumar killa

Me: hiiiiii *NAFSIIIIIIIA*

Khalid: lal7een za3lana 3alai?

Me: *No reply*

Khalid: ok smile mamatii

I turned my head so he wouldn’t see my face with the hair covering it and couldn’t help myself but to giggle…

Part 46

2009-04-16T00:27:00.003+03:00

Just to make things clear, this is a true story. Many people asked me if it was or not. And yes it is. Its my story... All the good, bad, and suducing parts were put for a reason, its my story people so dont blame me. Sorry for any disappointments.

This is dedicated to Cupid;* Ya 7mara i miss u:(

*********************************

For the next five months Khalid and I hung out nearly every day, we would go to the hospital every other day for his checkups. I was trying to make him regain his memory of me and of everything. He started to remember his family, but didn’t remember me yet. Yet each time he would smell my perfume, he would say something like, "shamha min gabel", or if I would wear something I wore for him before he would say, "DA JA VOU!" hehe and I knew he saw me wearing it before. the doctor said that he is going to become better soon inshalla. He is regaining his memory slowly.

What was shocking after all those months that Khalid was starting to crawl into my heart slowly. Not him! Cause I loved him already. I meant his personality, the changes! The new him. I mean he became shyer, and he was very determined to make me always happy. He started to fall in love with me too, I guess he is really still inside there somewhere; he fell in love with the girl he loved. It sounds odd but it's true. He wanted to take care of me, to be my man, and he was becoming my all!! We loved each other now to the point that we couldnt live without each other, not even for a day!

Dialing Khalid (2:39am):

Khalid: hey lamooy

Me: hii Khaloodi

Khalid: ha wainich?

Me: in bed

Khalid: betnameen?

Me: yup

Khalid: shfeech mnafsa? *concerned*

Me: mu mnafsa *MNAFSA!*

Khalid: seriously, shfeech?

Me: Khalid, elyoum the whole day mu sa2el 3ani *dala3 tone*

Khalid: Lamooy I'm sorry wallah I am, the guys ma 5alouny wallah

Me: yea I understand *sad, nafsia*

Khalid: when will you stop il nafsia??

Me: when you make it up to me

Khalid: I'll do anything! You chose anything and I'll do it!

Me: hehe anything?

Khalid: ee I promise!

Me: fine! Wainik?

Khalid: chalet!

Me: ok meet me at starbux tomorrow at 7:15 am.

Khalid: baba that too early!!

Me: ok fine whatever!

Khalid: No baby, I promised anything and you're going to get what you want!

Me: ok la7tha barou7 ashrab mai!!

Khalid: ok 7abeebty

2 minutes…

Me: back!

Khalid: how about we sleep so I can wake up w a7dirlich tomorrow

Me: haha ok aga3dik?

Khalid: ok baby I put an alarm anyways!!

Me: ok baby gnite

Khalid: gnite

Me: bye

Khalid: HEY!

Me: ok ok, mmwwwwwwah

Khalid: haha mwah!

Beep beep beep

HATHA WAJHIK YAL MISAAAAAAAFIR LAMA KAAAAAANAT LEE 3IYON!!! WAINAHA 3YOUNI 7ABEEBY SAFARAT MITHLIK 7ABEEEEEEEEEBY

The alarm woke me up 3ala the voice of Rashid al Majed, his voice made me feel
good.

I glanced at my phone, there were no missed calls or messages, and it was 7 am.

Dialing Khaloodi

No answer

I got up into the bathroom, and washed up.

Dialing Khaloodi

No answer

I changed and got into the car

Dialing Khaloodi

No answer

I thought he was going to surprise me because he would never break his promise! He was that as a huge deal!

I called twice while I was on the way but there was still no answer.

Compose message:

Not answering are we?

No reply

I got there, ordered my drink and breakfast. No Khalid. He didn’t come. So I decided to head home at 8am.

Dialing Khaloodi

No answer

Compose message:

Uff Khalid you promised me! I'm gunna sleep don’t bother calling or messaging!

I went back home changed into my undies, read a couple of blogs and slept.

ITS BEEN THE LONGEST WINTER WITHOUT YOU

I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE TO TURN TOO

SEE SOMEHOW I CANT FORGET YOU

AFTER ALL THAT WEVE BEEN THROUGH

Khalid calling

Me: aloo

Khalid: 7abeeeeeeebty ya 3omri, baby lamooya!

Me: hmm?

Khalid: nayma?

Me: no *I was sooo asleeeep!*

Khalid: I'm so sorry! Ra7at 3alai noma

Me: ok

Khalid: I broke my promise! I didn’t mean to! I swear!

Me: mm I know *sleeping wallah!*

Khalid: laish mnafsa

Me: I'm not *msa6la*

Khalid: baby ill make it up to u

Me: nah its ok

Khalid: mbala I wanna c u today

Me: no I can't!

Khalid: why?

Me: I need to hang out with Rula

Khalid: betsafer today?

Me: yea

Khalid: bel salama inshalla

Me: ysalmik

Khalid: ok just for a few minutes, I wanna give you something

Me: 5 minutes

Khalid: 10

Me: 7

Khalid: deal mita?

Me: I'll call you in 3 hours

Khalid: why?

Me: bnam!

Khalid: I wanna talk to you baby, rethaitai?

Me: you have till 12 am to tratheeene

Khalid: ok ma ra7 nsoulif now?

Me: Khalid, wall I am tiered, ga3da min il 9ub7

Khalid: ok sweety sweet dreams

Me: bye

BEEEP BEEEEEP BEEP

*SNORE*

2 messages received

1 from Khalid: forgive me

2 from Khalid: baby I love you please don't leave me

Part 45

2009-04-15T01:14:00.002+03:00

Sorry for the short post, inshalla bacher a3awethkum;* This is Specifically written for Exquisite:*!!

*************************************

The next two weeks were the same. I would feed him, we would talk, and I would bring a few things to bring back his memory of me, and his mother and everyone else around him.

Khalid: am I a good photographer?

Me: you’re the best there is!

Khalid: 9ij? And I took a picture of all these?

Me: ee! They were for my project! And this is us!

I showed him the picture of us in the car together, and then tears escaped my eyes.

Khalid: I'm sure this is so hard for you!

Me: I miss u, my Khalid, that’s all.

Khalid: come here

I went up on his bed and sat next to him.

Khalid: shoufai lama, if I don’t get my memory back, I'm sure we can start something up, ya3ni if I loved you once I'm sure I will love you again.

Me: Khalid I know, but I don’t want a new man, I want the old you, the guy that understood everything about me, our inside jokes, our experiences. Not the new you, you won't know how to do anything!

Khalid: I won't know how to do anything?

Me: you won't know my favorite food, drink, place, mood, and most importantly you won't know how to make me smile! You won't know the difference between my smiles! When I'm happy, sad, tiered, mad, quiet! I don’t want a new you I want the old you.

It might have been mean but I couldn’t stop crying! I wanted my baby! GIVE ME BACK MY BABY, YA ALLAH REDA LINA SALEM INSHALLA, YA ALLAH RIDA LINA IB KAMEL 8UWAH EL 3A8LIYA. I said in my heart. He held me close to him while I cried. I couldn’t breathe.

Knock Knock Knock

I got up and opened the door…

Doctor: ahlan abla, inti ib tibki laih? Didn’t I tell you that crying la bezeed wala yna2a9?

Me: ee *I smiled* doctor how is his situation so far?

Doctor: I have good and bad news, 2a2olek aye wa7da ilawel?

Me: good!

Doctor: 7an5aragou bokra w raga3ou il bait 5ala9 , bas yege ye3mel checkups koli youmain

Me: *I glanced at Khalid and we both smiled* bad?

Doctor: ana ma badmansh ino his memory 7aterga3 bil sor3a diyat! And it's going to take a lot of time, so I'm dismissing him so he can visit places and do things that might bump back his memory into place.

Me: inshalla

Doctor: yala ana 7ab2a ashoufkum 3ala 5air, w deer balak ya Khalid w ma te26a3shi il medication

Me: la t5aaf doctor he won't

Doctor: ana asta2zin w ill c you bel checkups.

Me and Khalid: bye Doctor.

Khalid: garbai

Me: hmm? *face down*

Khalid: look at me

Me: hmm? *looked up*

Khalid: you have a spark in your eye

Me: 9ij?

Khalid: ee wallah, in the past weeks it's the first time I see it

Me: because I'm happy, you used to tell me ina I have one every time you made me smile and that’s why you made me smile

Khalid: haha cute.

Khalid * "haha cute?" WTF is wrong with me. KRAHATNY! She is so pretty, her smile, that spark, ukhhh… Am I falling for her? Will she love me if I didn’t get my memory back? Would I still be "her" Khalid?*

Me *"haha cute?" that's all he could come up with? Khalid please ridly! I don’t like the new you, he acts weird bas I might stick with him to look at you every single day and remember our memories together, but I don’t think I can love him, he just isn’t you anymore!* my heart ached while my thoughts scared each memory slowly.

Part 44

2009-04-12T20:20:00.004+03:00

I was sitting in front of my laptop listening to the latest Rashid album, I couldn’t help but think about Khalid… A month passed… with no call no message nothing. Wain khalid? Wain raa7? I need him in my life! He isn’t calling nor answering my calls…Is it business? Bas it's been,, hmm… 28 days,,, I'm breaking down, I can't do this anymore! Our families are back, so I get that he might be busy with them, or with work, I drove past his house twice but no sign of his car… should I call his mom? La la la asti7e! shagoulaha,, umm 5altie wain wildich…. AGAIN?! Shbetgool 3ani?! Mu entail 5a6eebta! Shlone ma t3arefeen?! I feel lost! I can't do anything…
Rula: ti6li3een weyaay?

Me: wain?

Rula: Baroo7 Strabucks

Me: no I don't feel like it

Rula: Lama! It's been almost a month and you haven't left the house what's wrong?

Me: nothing!

Rula: Khalid?

Me: I haven’t heard from him for so long, I miss him, and I don’t know where he is

I broke down, right there, I couldn’t handle it. The tears, they made their way through and I felt so embarrassed… how could I have gave a guy my whole body, and he just left me like that, in a blink of an eye… well I am still a virgin but that’s not all that matters. He doesn’t have to open me to realize I'm "mu zaina" and not "baree2a"… ok now other than that, shagool 7ag Rula? "uhh I did stuff with him and I think he changed his mind about our marriage???!!"
HOW EMBARESSING! I thought he was different! I think that’s it… he left me because of that, but I don’t want to find out, I don’t want to face reality, that he left me…

Rula: sweety tell me…

Me: it's nothing, I just can't get a hold of him…

Rula: did you ask his mom?

Me: No… I was hoping you would…

Rula: ok, sure…

Rula Dialling Um Khalid

Rula: aloo

Um Khalid: aloo hala Rula shlonich 7abeebty? *her voice was shook*

Rula: b5air khalty intaw?

Um Khalid: walla ib 5air

Rula: khalti, ba'3ait a3aref wain Khalid…

Um Khalid: laish shfeekum 7abeebty 9ayer shai? *she sounded so jumpy*

Rula: la khalti I just wanted him to help me set up a surprise for Lama… before their milcha

Um Khalid: *she started to cry heavily* walla 7abeebty Khalid told me not to tell anyone about this. But he has been in the hospital for 2 weeks… 7abeebty Khalid got in an accident min a month ta8reeban, he was on his way to your dad's office, they had a meeting w kan mit2a5er 3alaih. He was driving fast when his tire burst *gulp* and well that’s when he crashed. I am going to talk to your mother later on today; I want to call it off. I believes that your sister deserves someone else.

Rula got up slowly and acted casual, I didn’t know what they were talking about, I was so eager to find out… she left my room into hers and locked the door keeping me out.

Rula: why would you call it off? Why wouldn’t you want her to find out? Khalti ihy t7iba!

Um Khalid: 7abeebty oho akthar, he can't remember anyone since he woke up from the comma a few days back …*panting* not even me… the doctor says it might go away soon, in time.

Rula: Khalti ana many fahma… why call it off she'll wait; it's just a car accident… She'll postpone everything for him, I'm sure. *tears in her eyes*

Um Khalid: la 7abeebty, bas the doctor said ako possibility he… ya mama ana ma aby your sister tet3ab weya la2ana 7altah 5a6ra *they both burst out crying*

Rula: Khalti la tkalmeen omy, 5alni akalim Lama w etha rethat we won't call it off ok?

Um Khalid: ily tshoofeena 7abeebty

Rula took the hospital information from Khalid's mother and got out of the room to tell me the news.

Rula took a quick bath so it wouldn’t show that she was crying knowing I was waiting for her on the other side of her door. She dressed up to go out and opened the door

Me: HUH HUH SH9AAR? *I jumped up cheny yahel*

Rula: didn't I tell you were going out yala dress up! I'm gunna be waiting in the car then I'll tell you!

Me: ok yala

I rushed to my room wore my trainings, and rushed back to the car.

Me: YALA SAY!

My heart was beating fast, and m y breaths were short.

Rula: Khalid

Me: ee shfeeh?

Rula: he is ok. But he got into a car accident, a really small one and he is doing checkups in the hospital now

Me: which hospital? *I was surprisingly calm, really calm*

Rula: Hospital X.

Me: let's go, now.

Rula drove fast to the hospital, but I still didn’t react. We didnt say a word. I was so calm, I kept thanking god and praying that he would be alright. I didn’t shed a tear, not one. We got to the hospital and I walked calmly to the elevator, walked to his room, I found his mother standing outside his room reading qur2an.

Um Khalid: hala yumma

Me and Rula: hala 5alti…

Me: shlonich 5alti inshalla ib 5air?

Um Khalid: il7amdillah 3ala kil 7aal ya bnayte

Me: mmkin adish?

Um Khalid: ee 7abeebty oho nayem, Rula dishi weyaha 7abeebty

I turned and looked at them

Me: badish brou7y please

Rula: ok 7abeebty I'm here for you.

I got into his room, it was a private room. He was sleeping and he had a scar on his shoulder, a broken hand and his legs were wrapped. I went and sat next to him. Held his hand and started to kiss it, my baby, how could you have not told me about this, baby. I fell asleep after 30 minutes.

TWO HOURS LATER

Khalid: lou sima7tai. Ga3d t3awreeny

He shook his hand to move it away from me…

Khalid: goomai

I woke up surprised

Me: 7abeeby, Khalid how are you feeling?

Khalid: *confused* 5air i5ty? I'm fine, and you are?

Me: *stunned* Lama.

Khalid: el?

Me: X

Khalid: I'm sorry but I don’t seem to remember…

Me: It's me. Baby it's me! *crying*

Khalid: I'm sorry Lama *guilt crept on to him* I was told ena I have memory loss.

Me: Khalid no! Not this! Not me! You're not leaving me like this! Remember please ana Lama.

Khalid turned his face.

Khalid: la 7awla wala 8uwata ila billah. Ya Omy walla I don’t remember, are you my sister? Cousin? Daughter?

Me: *crying* no, I'm your baby, your girl, the love of your life, 5a6eebtek

Khalid: *there was a tear held in his eyes* I had good taste *choke*

Me: baby it's me…

Khalid: I'm so sorry Lama, I am wallah, but there is something about you, your eyes, your smile, your smell, come sleep next to me, I want to be close to you, I might remember then…

We both slept in each other's arms, with him playing with me hair and my head laid on his chest. But it wasn’t the same now… he isn't my Khalid, he doesn’t remember me, he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t care for me, he is a guy with no memory of me, or of what we meant to each other. And I, on the other hand, was a lifeless girl now, sleeping next to a complete stranger, with a rush of feelings, crying, wanting him to realize it is me. The girl he fell head over heels for.

Part 43

2009-04-11T15:21:00.006+03:00

Weeks passed and I missed Khalid, he had a business trip in Dubai, Thailand, Paris and London. He was coming back in 5 days! *sigh* I miss him!

Compose message:

Why isn’t Khaloodi thinking about me at this moment? *Shy*

1 message received:

Because he is busy buying his baby a gift *wink*

Compose Message:

Ya 7ath your baby, now back to me!!!

1 message received:

You are my baby

Compose message:

So you're getting me a gift? *astahbil*

1 message received:

Yea ;p

Compose message received:

I miss you! Come back!

1 message received:

I want to 7abeebty, walla I'm so tired of work!

Compose message:

Kuwait is so boring without you!

1 message received:

What's the most thing you miss about me?

Compose message:

Your lips sucking on mine, u?

1 message received:

Your hands touching my body…

Compose message:

U want me?

1 message received:

More than ever!

Compose message:

Then come back *SAD*

1 message received:

Soon baby soon!

Compose message:

So what have you been doing lately?

1 message received:

Working u?

Compose message:

Sleeping! Now?

1 message received:

Shopping

Compose message:

For who?

1 message received:

U;** what are you doing now?

Compose message:

Driving 3al 5aleej, imazja 7a6a 3abdo, with the windows open.. you need to be here!

No Reply… 10 minutes later

Khaloooodi Paris Calling:

Khlaid: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Me: Hiii khalooodi

Khalid: 7abeebty laish 3al ba7ar, az3al…

Me: 5ala9 ill go back home, and sleep! *mnafsa*

Khalid: nah baby, just make sure guys don’t bother you ok?

Me: yea, baby I miss you, where are you…?

Khalid: I just got into my hotel room

Me: in bed?

Khalid: yea baby, bard

Me: aye adafeek?

Khalid: I wish

Me: True…

Khalid: huh?

Me: u wish hahaha

Khalid: haha I do *mwah*

Me: hathy 7ag wain?

Khalid: your neck

Me: bas?

Khalid: laa… your chin

Me: mm sexy

Khalid: gemme a kiss

Me: nah

Khalid: yala baby

Me: la mako

Khalid: laish?

Me: I want to give you one when you come back, so you can miss it a lot!

Khalid: baby, this one will be a secret *whispering* yala 3aad bas baina

Me: mmmmmmmwahhhhh

Khalid: Fidatich!

Me: we3 we3 we3!

Khalid: what's wrong?!

Me: this ass hole is bothering me!!

Khalid: la it6al3een!

Me: I'm not!

Khalid: wainich?

Me: 3ind the stop light malat share3 il ma6a3em

Khalid: go straight till he can't turn then you turn ok?

Me: ok,,, la7tha… back

Khalid: baby ok?

Me: ok baby!!

We talked about random things for a while, and about our families coming back in a couple of weeks, his work, my university, everything!

20 minutes later, I was at home…

Khalid: hmm, bardana?

Me: ee I'm in bed

Khalid: Nawmeeny

Me: w ana?

Khalid: intai shenu baba?

Me: minu ynawemny?

Khalid: ana

Me: shlone?

Khalid: ill show you, but you start first…

Me: ok,,, There was once a boy….

I told him a childish story for around 8 minutes…

Whispering!!

Me: aloo

Me: Khaloodi

Me: baby

Me: 7ayatii

Beep beep boop baap beep *pushing random numbers*

Then I realized that he tricked me into helping him fall asleep and I was all alone, and all I heard was…

*SNOOOOOOOOOOR SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR SNOOOOOOOOOOOR*

Me: goodnight *mwah*

Beep Beep Beep

I woke up the next day to find 2 messages from Khalid

Message 1 (4 am):

Baby I'm so sorry I wanted to tell you this cute story bas wallah I'm so tired and I fell asleep…;**

Message 2 (8:20 am):

I bet you are sleeping right now and I'm in a boring meeting! I wish I was next to you cause baby I would suck your lips, I would bite them slowly I would hold your ass so tight, I would take of your clothes slowly, I want you so bad…

It was 4 pm now; I heard noise in my bathroom it was probably the maid washing it up.

4:30pm

Uff when is she gunna finish I need to pee

I barged into my bathroom, there was no one I was probably imaging it, so I ran and sat on the toilet seat and started to happily pee when…

Khalid jumped out of my shower!

Me: FUK FUK FUK FUK SHYAYBEK! U SCARED ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KHALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII GEEEEEEEEEET OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT

Khalid: la !

Me: who let you in?! you were coming in 5 days!

Khalid: dashait min il ma6ba5, and I cut it short *he kissed my forehead*

Me: *I hid my head between my knees still peeing btw* tawne ga3da, and I look so bad get out!

Khalid: your beautiful baby

Me: get out lemme wash up!

Tara what was happening didn’t sink in! Shako in my bathroom!!!!!!

I washed up and got out of the bathroom to find him in his boxers, he carried my onto my bed, placed me on my back and sat on top of me.

Me: the door!

Khalid: I locked it

Me: I want u!

Khalid: shhh

BTW we were both JUST in our lower underwear!!!

He pulled my hair back, started to suck on my neck, then slowly down to my breasts, I was aroused. He started to suck each one slowly then more forcefully; I pulled him away and threw him on his back. Now I wanted control over his body…

Khalid: U want it?

Me: yea

Khalid: it's all yours

I shamelessly put my hand into his boxers and got his out. I slowly played with it using my hands and looked at his face expressions, he was liking it, so I went down to it and started to play around with it using my tongue, he started to pant heavily, and I sucked harder, he pulled me up to his lips, started to kiss me vigorously, he put his hand on his, continued what I started and slowly came, as we kissed his lips would stop to moan and I would suck on his lower lip.

Me: done?

Khalid: yea, baby I love you, you're so hot

Me: what about me

Khalid: what about you?

Me: don’t I get a little licking?

Khalid: wain tabeen?

I looked down, giving him a hint…

Part 42

2009-04-10T13:09:00.003+03:00

We got into the car and we were thinking of a place to go…

Khalid: a7ebech

Me: ana akthar

Khalid: have you spoken to your mom lately?

Me: la, I just msged her gabel ams, u?

Khalid: ee, ysalmoon 3alaich

Me: Khalid

Khalid: hm? *busy changing the song on the ipod*

Me: Khalid!!

Khalid: 3youni, rou7y, aamrai!

Me: wain ra7 nakil?

Khalid: imshai il ma6aar

Me: haha yallah!!

Khalid turned up the music; we were in a MAZAAAAAAJ mood so we heard a mix of English and

Arabic slow songs. We opened the windows he took out a cig, wala3ha.

Me: can I have on?

Khalid: LA! *gave me a look*

Me: Khalid please!!!!

Khalid: just this one, w BAS weyay!

Me: ok *I kissed his cheek*

I took a cig out and wala3tha; I inhaled, and felt like my body became numb.

I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life i ever do

I will want nothing else to see me through

If i can spend my lifetime loving you

Though we know we will never come again

Where there is love, life begins

Over and over again

We sang.

We got there, out of the car, into pizza express.

Khalid: shenu tabeen you eat?

Me: pasta

Khalid: ok

Khalid took ordered my food and his food, we sat there talking, laughing, eating, and joking

around. When we were done we got us cold drinks from starbux and headed to the car.

We got there

Khalid: tabeen tsoogeen?

Me: 3adi?

Khalid: ee bas deerai balich 3ala my car. *he kissed my forehead*

I got into the driver's seat as he got into the passengers' seat.

By now the sun was up and it was about 6am.

Khalid was blabbing about me doing this and that and this and that and I did everything he

asked me to do.

Me: I know how to drive!

Khalid: adree baby, I'm just making sure 7abeebty

Me: inzain!

I turned up the music.

Khalid: Hit them with a little ghetto gospel

Both of us:

Those who wish to follow me (my ghetto gospel)

I welcome with my hands

And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold

And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns

If I could recollect before my hood days

I'd sit and reminisce, thinking of bliss of the good days

I stop and stare at the younger, my heart goes to 'em

They tested, it was stress that they under

And nowadays things changed

Khalid turned down the music as I parked the car to hear the sensors. We got into my house and

out into the balcony.

Me: tabee sheesha?

Khalid: ee

Me: wait I'll let the maid set one up.

The maids were already up and I asked her to set one up for Khalid as grapes.

Khalid: where is my phone?

Me: here you go

Khalid: thanks

Me: no problem, ta3aal sit here!

Khalid was checking his phone and didn’t answer me, he looked shocked.

Me: baby shfeek!

Khalid: 7amad daag 3alai five times and he msgd me telling me he needs to talk to me tharory…

Me: minu 7amad?

Khalid: il maba7ith…

Me: oh, shyabee ?

Khalid: 3aad 7amad doesn’t call from this number unless something really important happened!

madry la7tha… He got up and walked into the house while I sat outside and lit up another cig

before he noticed!

*cough cough*

*I hate cigs*

*what the hell does 7amad want?*

*what are they talking about he looks so shocked*

*cough cough*

*haha I should stop trying to inhale, It's bad enough smoking it*

*uff I'm so dizzy!*

*I think it's from the cig, I should throw it off*

The Phone call:

Khalid is Dialing 7amad:

7amad: aloo *sleeping tone*

Khalid: Hala 7amad, shfeek daag? Sh9ayer? *screaming*

7amad: la7tha….

Khalid: shfeek? *screaming*

7amad: ya5ni shfeek t9are5 murty nayma! La7tha 5alni a6la3…

Khalid: k

7amad: ha Khalood

Khalid: 7amad 5ali9, sh9ayer?

7amad: Khalid inta dagait 3alai gabel ams wanting to check up on what happened with

Jassim al X and who he raped. He is in jail. He has been held as a rapist, and he was drunk at

the time which doubles his charges. After many hours il kalam ily 6ala3nah mina is…that lady

was by the name of Hala and she wasn’t his only victim, three other girls were too by the

names of Shoug, Rana, and Deena. There were too girls he couldn’t rape. Two by the name

of Lama, and Zain. He claimed the first one was his first love and when he wanted to he

broke down and couldn’t do it. But the second one had was young and had a lot of

ambitions and he couldn’t bare ruining her life.

*5alny arou7 ashouf what's going on with him*

Khalid was silent.

7amad: ya3ni la t7ate, Lama is all yours.

Khalid: 9ij wallah?

7amad: ee wallah

Khalid: ma ga9art 7amad, thanks a lot

7amad: the wife is calling bye

Khalid: bye

He turned to find me standing at the balcony door staring at him, smiling.

Me: yala baby, done?

Khalid: yea

Me: is everything ok?

Khalid: yea *smile*

Khalid felt like he was the happiest man in the world.

Part 41

2009-04-07T15:26:00.002+03:00

I'm sorry 3al g9oor;*

This is for Anonymous and Susy Q.

*****************************

August 23:

1 message received (8:54am)

Hala: Hey honey, I left the other day before you guys woke up, the driver picked me up. I didn’t want to cause you two trouble. I'm at home safe, so la t7ateen. Btw I love you thanks so much. I'm traveling to Lebanon for 2 weeks, I'm going to see what I can do about the baby and I'll let you know... bye;*

Reply:
It's ok sweety. Take care and tell me what happens, bel salama *kisses*

1 message received (9:04am)

Khalid: 7abeebty I'm sorry

1 message received (11:39am)

Khalid: Baby please forgive me

1 message received (4:19pm)

Khalid: 7abeebty you’re my life walla don’t let me go

1 message received (1:00am)

Khalid: Goodnight baba;*

August 24:

1 message received (12:10pm)

Khalid: BABY TALK TO ME, ANSWER ME R U ALRIGHT?

1 message received (12:13pm)

Khalid: I'll be back tonight. Bamurich at 10:00pm!

1 message received (10:23pm)

Khalid: wainich? Ana ta7at!

1 message received (10:50pm)

Khalid: Lama ana ta7at!

1 message received (10:59pm)

Khalid: Baby!

1 message received (11:40pm)

Khalid: I need u I swear

Don't blame me for not answering but for the past 4 days I stayed in bed, sleeping the whole time, and I didn’t want to answer him. I couldn’t answer him. I felt deceived!

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Me: haaaaa?

Mary: me lama!

Me: Mary (nanny) I want to sleeeeep!

Mary: how you not eat! I will tell mama!

Me: Mary go I want to SLEEEEEP!

I was so grumpy! And I wasn’t hungry! Uff '3a9eb? Awal ma bedait a'3fa…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Me: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh WHAT?!

Khalid: r u dressed well?

Me: FAI9AL SHTABE?

Khalid: I'm not fai9al!

Me: U555 BANAM! MINU?

Khalid: afa!

He opened the door and came in, the light pierced into my eyes and I still couldn’t see who it was…

Me: YA ALLAH GOOOOOOOOOOO I WANT TO SLEEEEEEEP *Sniff Sniff* CLOSE THE DOOOOOOOR *I wined*

Khalid: inshalla

Me: Fai9al shtabe!!!?

Khalid: I'm not fai9al yal 5ibla!

The room was completely dark, and I felt him come closer and he got into the covers with me.

Khalid: ana 5alid.

He came closer and hugged me

Me: shtabe?

Khalid: abeech!

Me: maby!

Khalid: shenu ma tabeen?

Me: ma abeek

Khalid: min galbich?!

I stayed quiet

Khalid: MIN GALBICH?

Me: la!

Khalid: a7ebech

He started to kiss my neck, and then I moved away from him.

Khalid: shfeech?

Me: get out.

Khalid: but baby, I want you; I need you in my life

Me: that’s obvious

Khalid: what do you mean?

Me: you think I'm not a virgin and you forget our date, travel without telling me, and now you want me back?!

Khalid: baby I didn’t mean to.

Me: you should have thought about that before traveling!

Khalid: baby don’t do this, I'm not leaving you here!

Me: uff

I was too feeble to even argue, I gave him my back, get further away from him and closed my eyes tightly, feeling the tears run down my cheeks.

I felt him come closer to me till our bodies touched. His head leaned in over my shoulder.

Khalid: I can't bare see you cry like this, come here baby.

Me: *sigh*

I turned to face him and leaned my head on his chest and slept my night through.

I woke up again in the same position we were in, and he was asleep too. I glanced over to my phone to see the time, and it was 3:20am. I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to go out, I was so bored and hungry.

Me: Khalid, goum

Me: khalood

Me: uff Khalid wake up

I started to peck his lips and 7in over his head. 4 minutes later, he responded by pulling me closer to him and parting my lips and sucking on the bottom one. It has been so long without him, I needed his touch his kiss his smell. UFF his smell!! It was amazing! It was manly. I moaned lightly, he moved back.

Khalid: tabeen ba3ad

Me: ee

Khalid: ta3alai

He pulled me over him so now he was sleeping on his back and I was sitting in his belly facing him. He was wearing his jeans and Armani shirt, and I was wearing, granny panties. I wasn’t sleeping with much on…

I took his shirt off, and leaned down to kiss him, so both of our bodies touched. My chest felt so good on his chest. I felt his friend jump up, He brought his hands to my chest and pushed them closer to each other forcefully which made me go crazy. Now we were both moaning, but lightly that is… I stopped leaned back…

Me: YO3ANA! *pout*

Khalid: wa7alata! Ta3alai abeech ana

Me: aby akiiiiil!!

Khalid: ok ok goumai… *He smirked*

Depressed.

2009-04-06T15:58:00.001+03:00

You guys, I can't write. I'm so depressed and I have no idea why! Yet, everything is going perfectly in my life!

I have everything I can ask for but I'm not happy.

I'm depressed.

I don’t know why! And I don’t know what to do. I want to continue my story but I just don’t have it in me to. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I don’t want to tell anyone else. Everything is going great except for me! I'm NOT HAPPY! SERIOUSLY!

I just want to sleep or cry or do something depressing, because each time I do something fun I get more depressed! I don’t know what to do ;s I'm desperate!

Suicide?

Ehda2aat;*

2009-04-03T15:43:00.001+03:00

Hey everyone, this is my new blog, it's all about Ehda2aat so check it out;*

http://lamaehda2aat.blogspot.com/

**

2009-04-03T13:55:00.001+03:00

Hey everyone,

I know I have taken a long time, w inshalla soon you'll have your 3 EXTRA LONG parts, I just need a few days because of family issues, thanks;*

Part 40

2009-03-29T01:22:00.001+03:00

1 message received:
I love you

Reply:
Me 2

1 message received:
Really?

Reply:
Yea

1 message received:
How much?

Reply:
Too much

1 message received:
Fedaitich

Reply:
Akrihik

1 message received:
Why baby?

Reply:
You think I'm a whore

1 message received:
Tabeeny athbitlich ena I don’t?

Reply:
Ee

1 message received:
Call me tomorrow

Reply:
Fine.

1 message received:
gnite

Reply:
gnite

1 message received:
Tara You'll be impressed

Reply:
Well c about that.

Mama calling:

Mama: hala 7abeebty

Me: hi mama

We had our mini conv, about how things were

Mama: 7abeebty hathy 5altich um Khalid tabee tkalmich!!

SHIIIIIIIT NO NO NO!

Me: hala 5altie

5altie: hala 7abeebty la7tha…

Me: inshalla

5altie: *talking to mama* ana shwai w aye

Mama: *in the background* ok i5thai ra7tich

5altie: shlonich yumma?

Me: tamam 5altie intai shlonich? Inshalla b5air?

5altie: ee 7abeebty, shoufai Lama, 7abeebty ana mithel ma fahamny Khalid inta weya tegarabtaw hal shahrain min ba3ath bas not dating… and he wants to propose to you… akalim ahalich? Ya3ni rathya

Me: *fashlaaaaaaaa* hehe ely tshoufeena 5altie!

5altie: ya7lailich w entail mista7ya!

Me: hehe *shy*

5altie: yala 7abeebty 5alni afati7 omich bel mawthoo3, ma3al salama

Me: bye

I closed the fone thinking I was in heaven! I was so happy, I was going to be his wife, khalid's wife…

I slept and woke up at 3 am

Dialing Khalid

Phone Off

Dialing Khalid

Phone Off

I fell asleep again

12 pm

Dialing Khalid

Phone Off

1:30pm

Dialing Khalid

Phone Off

5:30pm

Dialing Khalid

Phone Off

Libast and I was on the way w the whole time I call his phone would be off. I got to his house and his car wasn’t there, I waited for an hour, still calling! Then I called his mom…

5altie: aloo

Me: hala 5altie

5altie: hala feech 7abeebty

Me: 5altie, did Khalid talk to you recently?

5altie: ee 7abeebty

Me: umm do you know where he is?

5altie:ee he is in turkey

Me: what?

5altie:ma galich 7abeebty?

Me: no

5altie:walla ana! He called me an hour ago w 9edamny

My eyes started to tear

Me: mashkoora 5altie

5altie: 7abeebty la tiz3ileen, he was probably busy

Me: its ok,,, bye

5altie: bye

I was on the way home and I called a few more times. I was crying so much! He forgot to tell me? Or he didn’t want to! This isn’t the Khalid I love!! What happened to him?

I went back home and cried myself to sleep… I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM!

Khalid calling

I woke up the next day at 11am from Khalid's phone call

Khalid: alo

Me: na3am?

Khalid: na3am??

Me: ee shtabe?

Khalid: 7abeebty its me Khalid

Me: adre shtabe?

Khalid: laish your talking to me in this way?

Me: OH IM SORRY! ITS OK FOR YOU TO FORGET ABOUT YESTERDAY AND FORGET TO TELL ME YOU ARE IN TURKEY, BUT I CANT BE RUDE TO YOU?

I started to weep again!

Khalid: 7abeebty it was a spur of the moment thing, rab3ee dagaw 3alai w 7ijazna faj2a w re7na! w I didn’t want to call you incase you were sleeping.

Me: ok

Khalid: ok?

Me: ya

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I closed the phone in his face.

Part 39

2009-03-27T18:18:00.005+03:00

We got to the chalet with her still unconscious, Khalid carried her up to his brother's room and I helped him, then we both went downstairs, I went around cleaning everything and organizing everything, I didn’t want her to wake up knowing we were here and that she ruined anything, 7aram!

As I picked the pedals off the floor Khalid hugged me from the back

Khalid: leave everything, let's go sleep *he moaned*

Me: Khalid I can't I'm thinking about her, 7aram…

Khalid: 7abeebte entail, let's go sleep

He carried me up the stairs to the big bedroom, I went into the bathroom and he locked the door, I came out after a few minutes and saw him sitting on the bed looking at the bathroom door waiting for me to get out, when he saw me his face brightened

Khalid: ta3alai hnee

Me: hmm?

Khalid: promise me something

Me: hmm?

Khalid: you'll never let a guy hurt you!

Me: I'm with you, how could that happen?

He hugged me and we got under the blankets, I slept on my left and so did he so my whole back side and his front side were touching, we slept like babies..

THE NEXT MORNING

I woke up to find Khalid's little friend awake way before he was, I slowly got out of bed and into the bathroom, took off my clothes and jumped into the shower… I didn’t close the door, I thought he was fast asleep.

While I was washing my hair and dramatically singing, I turned to find him standing there with the curtains open and he was smiling!!

Me: AHHHHHHHHHH 5ara3tny! *I covered myself* BARAAAAA!

Khalid: ya3ni mista7ya?

Then he took off his clothes, he was BUTT naked, YUMMY!!! I'm getting my treat at last! He got into the shower and I gave him my back *FASHLA* he came from behind me and held my arms slowly till our whole body was touching, and his little friend was WIDE AWAKE *FASHLA*, he turned me around slowly, and the water was hitting our bodies…

He held my chin and opened my mouth, he started biting my lower lips and sucking on it! I started to get dizzy, I pulled away and raised my head and he started kissing my neck and went down to my breasts, he started to suck them and play around with them and all I seemed to do was MOAN! I moaned lightly but when he started to suck real hard on my nipples or bite lightly on them I would give out a louder moan, but it was all pleasuring do not get me wrong!! It wasn’t my choice, it just came out…

Khalid: you like that?

I gave him a good moan indicating how pleasuring it was… he went down to my stomach kissed it all over, then down there *AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FASHLA!*

Khalid: r u open?

WHAT?!

I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED PEOPLE! I DON’T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO HIS MIND? I DON’T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO MY MIND? I DON’T KNOW HOW HE SAID THAT OR COULD SAY THAT! I IMMEDIATELY SLAPPED HIM!

I got out of the shower in RAGE! I took a towel covered myself and left the bathroom. I got into the room, wore my clothes, and he was walking behind me with a towel wrapped on his waist.

Khalid: Baby I didn’t mean that! I don’t know how it came out! Honestly!

He held my wrist as I was changing and I managed to let me go the he did it again

Me: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5ER 3ANI!

Khalid: I wouldn’t be with you if I believed that!

Me: well you were obviously thinking it!

Khalid: la 7abeebty I was just thinking about Hala and all.

Me: so you were with me thinking of Hala?

Khalid: No, it's not like that!

Me: tabeeha rou7laha! She's in the other room.

I unlocked looked into Hala's room and she wasn’t there. I found his car key on the stool, and grabbed it, got into his car and left, I ran out the chalet with tears running down my eyes… he thought I was a bitch! FUCK HIM!

Compose message:

Khalid I took your car, bage6ha your house w my driver will pick me up from there, inta daber nafsik

Dialling Driver:

Come to Khalid's house, mama friend

Khalid 1 missed call

FUCK HIM! I was so wrong to let him do all that shit to me! He thinks I'm a whore!

Khalid 2 missed calls

When I got to his place I rode with my driver and went home, by then it was…

Khalid 14 missed calls

1 message

Baby if I ever thought you were like that I wouldn’t have proposed!! I love you sweety and the car 7alalich! Do whatever you want feeha just tell me your ok when u get there!!

Compose message:

I'm ok.

Part 38

2009-03-27T11:21:00.005+03:00

He slowly took off my tank top and un hooked my bra, and started to kiss my chest slowly, he went to the right one and…. As he was playing around with the other one, then went back up to my neck and sucked on it again…

Personally!! I was HORNEY *SHHHHHY*

Later we were in a position where he was over me doing everything and I had my legs wrapped around his waist, he was wearing his boxers by now and I was wearing a thong. It was the silly looking DKNY thong, ya3ni kilish I didn’t expect this to happen!!

While he kissed my neck he slowly brought his hand down to my private area, bara the thong… I started to moan since it was so pleasuring!

Khalid: bashoof *innocent sexy look*

Me: la mako

Khalid: hmmm baby!! 3ayal I touch w ashouf?

Me: mm fine *sexy tone!!!*

Khalid unfolded my legs off him opened them wide sat at the bottom of my legs, and as he was taking off the thong, my phone rang!!

WHAT?! MY PHONE RANG! In the middle of this!!

Khalid: ignore it!

Me: la get it!!

WELA FAJ2A MY PHONE STOPS AND RINGS AGAIN! I got so mad I closed my legs got up, pulled up my thong properly got both our phones, gave him his, I wore my tanktop…

3 missed calls from HALA

I must have not heard the first one

I cuddled into Khalid's arms while he sat on the couch; he had his hand around my shoulders and was lightly playing around with my chest.

Dialing Hala

Hala: aloo *crying heavily*

Me: shfeeeeeeeeeeeech?! *I screamed*

Hala: he is bara baite!! Shasawe? Shasawe?

Me: nizleela! La yefthe7ich!

Hala: MAAAABY!!

I threw the phone to Khalid for him to help her while I wore my clothes. I knew we had to end this night ib something dramatic I knew we had to na7dir 7agha, I didn’t mind, bas 5alid ta3ab 3ala all this! And I wanted him to go down, waaaaay down *shy face*…

Me: haaach 5alid!

Khalid: alo

Hala: he is ta7at my house and he is threatening to yeftha7ny itha ma anzilah shasawe?

Khalid: shoufai, put your phone on silent and wear a jacket with a pocket from the inside, we will stay 3al 5aa6 to know where you too are! And what's happening! Kil shwai lam7ai were you are, and we will come and solve this! And tell him you forgot your phone at home.

I saw the fire in his eyes!!

Khalid: yala… baba libastai?

I turned to him in SHOCK! Was he asking her that! What the fuck!?

Me: NA3AM?!

Khalid: agoolich goomai libsai baba 3ashaan na7dir!

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWW!! I THOUGHT he was talking to her like that, OOOPS, I think I shouldn’t think for a while, hahaha!

Darb back from el chalet was tense we had her on speaker, and we were waiting for any talmee7a, but all we heard was *SMACKS* from him, and her crying, not even saying a word! He was just screaming!

There was music playing in the background, "ELY NESAAAK ENSAAAAH W ELY HAWAAAAK IHWAAAAAAH, W ELY GEDAR FARGAAAAK......"

15 Minutes passed

Hala: wain menroo7?

Jassim: el chalet!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LAZIM NRID THE WHOLE WAY!

Hala: ay man6i8a?

Jassim: laish tis2ileen ba3ad?

Hala: laa2ane you3ana w aby akil!!

Jassim: shtabeen you eat?

Hala: madri shenu feeh?

Jassim: we are going to bnadir, la t7ancheen just think and when we get there tell me what you want to eat!

Khalid looked at me, motioned that we were going back,,,

Khalid: t3arfeen el mokan? *He whispered in my ear, I nodded, and then he got mad as well, bas he looked at me and turned!*

I leaned on to him and sucked his right ear then whispered *i know beroood but you guys i was still turned on*SHY**

Me: no nothing happened

Khalid: mashy, ana bathba7a either way

Me: no sweety! 7abeeby he is crazy!

*MY PHONE: JASSIM: YALA NIZLAI!
HALA: BAS AKAMIL AKLI

JASSIM: OK YALA!*

Khalid: mute your fone!

Khalid took out his phone, dialed a number

Khalid: aloo hala 9ager

9ager: haa khalood shfeeek?! Its 3! Is anything wrong?

Khalid: wainik?

9ager: bel chalet

Khalid: weya minu?

*MY PHONE: HALA: JASSEM WA5ER PLEAAAAAAAASE!! *SCREAMING**

9ager: kil shabaaaaab shfeeeek?

Khalid: 7amad mawjood?

9ager: eeeeeee 5air shfeeeek? Ya5ii shfeek gooooooool?

Khalid: fe wa7ed ma5eth wa7da ye8te9ebha, dam 7amad majood ta3aaalaw weya bnadir chalet …?

He looked at me clueless; I whispered the numbers to him

Khalid: ta3alaw chalet XXX

9ager: yala kanah yayeeeeen! YALA SHABAAAAAAAB GOOMAW FAZ3A, WAIN 7AMA…

Khalid Closed the phone

Me: shsawait?! Fetha7tha! W shako 9ager w madri shesma hatha 7amad bil mawthoo3!

Khalid: you'll c!

Me: KHALID! What are you doing? Her future!!!! Her family *my eyes lets down the tears I have kept inside for the whole night*

Khalid: don’t you trust me?

Me: mbala

Khalid: then 5aliha 3alai, I want you to jump back cause its m'3ayam and you wont show, I don’t want the guys to see you!

Me: ok

I did as I was told, I jumped back and saw everything but I didn’t show…

We waited for nearly 7 minutes, I was so scared! They all teyami3aw 3ind il bara7a ily yam el chalet, and saw his car already parked which meant they were inside, POOR HALA!

Khalid: lama anzil, giflai el bab and don’t open it for anyone BUT me! 7eta etha wa7ed min rab3i aw ahali in5ashai and don’t open the door *he said it while he was looking straight not back in case anyone saw him it looked like he was talking to himself!*

Me: inshalla, ok 7abeeby take care

Khalid: yala ana meshait.

BTW MY PHONE WAS STILL OPEN ON HALA!!

Khalid got out of the car

MY PHONE…

Hala: Jassim wa5er! Your drunk!

Jassem: 5air ya3ni, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?!

Hala: I'm pregnant don’t you get it?!

Jassem: yala bas!

Hala: Jassem, 3al a8al let me come to you willingly once! It doesn’t always have to be by force!!

*I knew she was stalling!*

Jassem: mashy, so how do you want to do this?

Hala: give me my time, and I'll come to you!

Jassem: abeeeech! Al7eeeeeen! Come here!!

Hala: ohhhhhhhhhhhh Jassem! Move!

*I heard a SLAP!*

Jassim; eee chethy a7san!

Then I heard nothing except for his loud moans!!

Around 40 seconds later,

I heard the door open hard,

Man: KHALIK MUKANIK A7SANLEK W LA TET7ARAK!

Jassem: inta minu? Intaw shtaboon? *dizzy drunk voice*

Man: ana el 3a8eed 7amad al ***, min el maba7ith, goum ma3ai bi7teramik bedoun fethaye7, shabaab miskouh

OHHH 7AMAD IS MABAAAAAA7ITH!! AWW 7EBEEBY KHALOODI!

Khalid: hala, hala, goomai!

Hala: hmm

Khalid: goomai

Hala: Khalid, 6el3aw please

Khalid: laa goomai I help you!

Hala: 3a6ni shai a8a6ee nafse feeeh!!

Khalid: kaaah blanket…

*I saw two guys pulling Jassim into a back seat of a car and drive away*

Hala: TURN, KILUKUM!

Khalid: k

Hala: yala *she gave out moans signaling how hurt she was*

Hala: I can't get up!

9ager: shfeech?

Hala: madrii

Thump!

9ager: khalood! Hathy 6a7at '3ashiana! Shasawi?

Khalid: sheelha laih sayarti ana arou7 aba6il el baaab!

9ager: ya5ii sheelha ma3ai

Khalid: la la ana ma agdar! I'll just go open the door

9ager: IBRAHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM TA3AAAAL SA3IDNY ASHEEEEEELHA!!!

I heard another guy enter the room,

Ibrahim: allah yaster 3alaiha!

9ager: ee wallah ksarat 5a6ri!

*Khalid came running out of the chalet and knocked on the window*

I opened the door for him, kah beyeeboonha, I closed the phone, and sat on the chair so they would put her on my lap

9ager and Ibrahim came out carrying her and placed her in the back seat her head on my thighs. They couldn’t see who I was since it was still dark, and nothing showed except for a girl sitting in the back… they left in their car

9ager: wain bta5ethha?

Khalid: bait 5altie

9ager: mashy, il salaam

Khalid: il salaam , 9ager, la eyeeeboon 6are bnaya!

9ager: i7na ndaber el amir

Khalid: mashy, ma3a il salama, w ma ga9artaw

Ibrahim: ma3a il salama

Khalid got into the car

Khalid: el chalet?

Me: ee bser3a

It was around 4: 30am, and we were all tiered, and she was still unconscious…

HAIR

2009-03-27T01:37:00.001+03:00

Hey you guys, my sister Leena, has a wedding coming up w yaninatny she doesn't know what to do with her hair! She has long brunette hair, and her dress is covering the neck but open from the back, any suggestions?

Part 37

2009-03-27T00:37:00.004+03:00

The place looked AMAZING! It was dark and the light was coming from the candles put in the white rose's bouquets. They looked gorgeous! The smell was his Dolce *light* perfume, it was so orgasmic. I was so surprised! I didn’t expect this! There were red flower pedals on the floor leading to the balcony and candles next to the pedals making a pathway to walk in…

Me: yea, but I mean why?! What's the reason?

Khalid: because…

I stood up, faced him looking deep into his eyes, hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear…

Me: I told you I was going to make it up to you, and know I actually think you deserve it.

Khalid: 9ij walla?

Me: yea 7abebe

Khalid: Lama

Me: 3younha?

Khalid: why are we whispering?

We both laughed, then he carried me along the path way into the balcony, where there was a table with candles around it, and the sticks with fire on them, two chairs and on one of the chairs there was a big box. It was colored in black with silver ribbons.

He put me down, and motioned me to go open it..

Me: hatha 7agy?

Khalid: la 7ag oboi *smiled*

Me: oh 5ala9 3ayal lets sit inside *I pushed his chest back but he wouldn’t move!!*

Khalid: 7agich!! *grin*

Me: chathaaaaaaaaaaaaab!!

I jumped on him and gave him a smoooooooch!! Then ran over to the box, as I was about to open it, I turned to see him looking at me from the door, so I went back to him…

Me: *itdala3ing* you aren’t going to open it weyay?

Khalid: mbala sweety!!

Me: then come yala

I held his hand and pulled him to the chair with the box. I started to open it and when he noticed how difficult it was he pitched in…

It was open

There were a lot of things inside…

Me: ulllllllah wayed!

Khalid: tabeen asaweelich presentation wela you wanna know for yourself?!

Me: aby presentation

Khalid: haha ok!! Come and sit here *he got me the other chair* and listen closely

He took out the first thing from the box and it was a camera…

Khalid: shoufai ya 7elwa, we met because of this... a camera… not a lot of people meet this way or "re-unit" in this way, but we did…

He placed it on the table and pulled out two pictures of "Mr. Potato head" (Toy story) one with a smile on his face and one with a frown on his face…

Khalid: I was this Mr. Potato head (he showed me the sad picture) but you made me become this one (he showed me the smiling picture)

I felt like I knew where this was going, my eyes filled with tears and I didn’t want to cry, I at least wanted to hear it first…

He took out a small Barbie house…

Khalid: this is where I wanna live with you!

He pulled out an old man and woman doll

Khalid: this means I wanna grow old with you

Then he pulled out a clown…

Khalid: you make me laugh all the time, cheny yahel!!

He pulled out a rope, at that moment I laughed, cause shako rope!

Khalid: *he made a knot out of it* this is for our bonds and us always bonding, this gesture means that I want you baby I wanna be in a knot with you forever in our good and bad times, and stand together always, don’t let me go, I want you to be my girlfriend forever,,, *he put his head down and blushed* And last but not least *he pulled out a book* this collage book is the story of our life, our past and history, *he flipped a few pages, then got to empty pages at the back, there were a lot of empty pages* and these empty pages are going to be the pages you complete while we grown old together…

Well I might be stupid but I don’t know where the "proposal" was! Ya3ni no ring, he didn’t speak to our parents, I don’t think he meant it! He just wanted us to be together, but he never mentioned married. He wants to be my "boyfriend forever?" HE IS SO SWEET BAS SHENU MAYNOOOOOOOOOOON!????

I was ok with what he said , I went inside and gestured him to come along…

Khalid: bas ako food!!! *he said wining*

Me: 9ij ako? *dala3*

Khalid: ee!!!!

Me: akeed? *dala3 chena sad*

Khalid: LAAAA MAKO *hahaha*

I wanted him to kiss me all over my body I needed his touch his smell his lips I needed him, I didn’t want to think about what he said or itha it makes me feel bad or happy, I wanted to be happy embrace what he had just done, I wanted to be his! And forever! I didn’t care how it was!

I sat on the couch and pulled him there, threw him on the couch, he carried me and put me on top of him, it was hot in his chalet except for the wind coming in from the balcony… it was sensational…!

I pulled him so now I was on my back and he was on top of me, he kissed me around my lips, but not on them! This made me want him more! I was wearing short shorts and a tank top, and he was wearing a shirt and shorts… he stopped faj2a! SHTABEEEEEEEE! GIVE ME MORE GIVE ME MORE

Me: give me more!

Khalid: I will

Me: then why did you stop

Khalid: I want to ask you something!

Me: hmm?

Khalid: you didn’t like the speech?

Me: 7abeeby I did, bas…

Khalid: bas?

Me: you want me as your girlfriend forever?

Khalid: yea

Me: oh.

Khalid: 7ubi I told my mom about you, and she wants to talk to you soon, and no she isn’t going to tell your mom, and what I meant was even if we get married, I want to always have you as a girlfriend, ya3nii I don’t want us to be the boring married couple ever!

Me: oh, ee!!

Khalid: hahaha, ee?

Me: I want that to!

Khalid: ya3nii u do?!

Me: do what?!

Khalid: accept me as a husband?!

Me: ee *I was flushed*

Khalid: then come here wifey!

Me: bas Khaloodi, ya3nii shlone? was that your propo…

I couldn’t continue, he was kissing my neck again and all I seemed to say was…

Me: and… umm... loodi…umm…umm…ya3nii

I couldn’t say a sentence, 9A6AAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!

I started to slowly moan as he kissed my neck down to my chest, he held the tank top 9oob my breast…

Khalid: anazil?

Me: kaifik

Khalid: ashoof? 3adi?

Me: kaifek *SHY!*

Khalid: akeed?

Me: I'm 7alalek!

He slowly took off my tank top and un hooked my bra, and started to kiss my chest slowly, he went to the right one and….

Part 36

2009-03-26T16:16:00.005+03:00

Hala dialing Jassim

Hala: aloo

*Speaker*

Jassim: 5air?

Awal ma sima3t 9oota i was going to have a heart attack, my heart was beating so fast! not because i loved him, cause i didnt! it was because i missed him, his good side atleast!
Hala: wainik?

Jassim: intai shtabeen?

Hala: bagoulik shai

Jassim: hmm

Hala: I went to the 6abeeb and he said everything is fine

Jassim: mashy

Hala: umm, inzain

Jassim: elyoum u were suppose to be here at 6 wainich?

Hala: I'm a bit busy

Jassim: takleeeeeeeeeen tibin *angry*

Hala: I'm sorry *tears escaped her eyes* I was at the doctor's office.

Jassim: hah yea right bitch, where are you now?

Hala: in my car

Jassim : wain betrou7een?

Hala: home

Jassim: ta3alai?! Ay home ay ma95ara come over now!

Khalid and I looked at each other! What was wrong with him?!

Jassim: walla afthi7ich

Hala: Jassim ana ta3abt *crying*

Jassim: you're really stupid, do you know that? *calm voice*

Hala: Jassim don’t say that!!

Jassim: you know what's funny?

Hala:….

Jassim: is that "lama" is living her life now and you little bitch is stuck with me

Hala: I'm not! *crying more*

Jassim: what are you not? Stuck with me? Ur pregnant honey, u r stuck with me! And if you meant bitch, umm yes you r, your pregnant, and whose the daddy huh?

Hala: Jassim 7aram 3alaaaaaaaaaaaik!!

Jassim: you got yourself into this yal 8abiya!

Hala: no I didn’t! How did I do that?!

Jassem: you thought you could "save your lama" bas il thaaher she didn’t know how to save you!

Hala: Jassim

Jassim: thilfai

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

He shut the phone in her face just like that! What I heard that I was about to get up and hug her! That girl, my friend, sister, soul mate! The person that cared most about me, instead Khalid held me closer and whispered into my ear.

Khalid: *whispering* don’t let her hurt you again, think before you act

I looked at him with tears flowing down my eyes, when he saw me in that situation, he let go, nodding giving me a yes to go hug her.

I stood up walked to her, she stood up and I just hugged her, I loved her, she was my sister, how could she go through all that for me? Haloo!! I love her wallah, but she is in so much shit meny!! I hugged her tight and cried , and so did she…

MEANWHILE

KHALID's Side

Hal bnaya mu mray7atny, there is something going on! But I won't let anything happen to my baby. Ohh look at her, she is crying her eyes out, shasawee ya raby?

He went over to her took them apart and hugged Lama. He wanted her not to go back to Hala with all the emotions she had before. And after 15min. of crying he wanted her to stop. He hugged her so close to his body gave her pecks on her head, and took her back to sit on the couch. Hala has already sat down by then.

LAMA's Side

Khalid: *whispers in my ear* a7ebech

Me: amoot feek

Hala: ana baroo7 il 7amam

She got up and left, I started to feel dizzy …

Me: Khalid…

Khalid: hala oboi?

Me: day5a

I still looked bad, with my eyes all red and puffy

Khaled: sweety I have the whole night planned out

Me: Khaloodi look at me! I look horrible! And I'm tiered!

Khaled: ok shrayich we go to the chalet and sleep there?

Me: bas you drive! *I said it in a dala3 way seeking for approval*

Khaled: ely taamreen feeh be9eer ya 3umry intai!

Hala came back from the bathroom, Khalid and I excused ourselves and left to my house. And she excused herself to go home promising not to go see him, we decided to give each other a call the next morning, I gathered my things and then we passed by Khalid's place got his things then drove to the chalet. We took his car, and he was driving while I was leaning my whole body on him, and my head was laid on his chest.

Me: you know something?

Khalid: shenu?

Me: I want you forever

Khalid: *blushed* I want you to baby

Then he looked all tense and changed the subject.

Khalid: umm, mm, tabeen music?

Me: haha no I'm fine, 7abeeby when are our parents coming back from, umm, Europe?

Khalid: In two weeks

Me: ahh ok

The rest of the road trip was silent, I didn’t want to talk and it seemed like he was tense enough so I fell asleep.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

AN HOUR LATER

I felt something pulling my lips, something that was biting them, it was so juicy, I opened my eyes to find Khalid sucking on my lower lip, I automatically sucked on his upper lip… I tilted my head to the left and opened my mouth wider and after the sucking I slowly felt his tongue touching mine, so I moved mine toward his mouth, I just copied him with everything… our tongues were touching each other and playing around in each other's mouths, he slowly moved back,,, looked into my eyes

Khalid: you want more? *grinning*

Me: so much more *I bit my lower lip*

Khalid: 3ayal let's get in…

We stood outside his chalet; he was holding all of our bags…

Khalid: la7tha

Me: umm thegeel 3alaik ashyeel el things?

Khalid: la baba

He got closer to me till our noses touched while looking into my eyes

Khalid: I love you

I lowered my head, and blushed, he pecked my head then put everything down… he opened his bag and got out a scarf, then he wrapped it around my eyes so that I could see nothing, I heard him get the key out of his pocket and opened the door. He put his right hand on my lower back tightly and walked me in. We got into the chalet he turned me right and seated me on a couch… I heard the lights click off then he took the scarf off my head. IT WAS AMAZING! WOW! THAT’S ALL I COULD SAY!

Me: all of this for me?

Khalid: yea sweety!

Me: why?!

Khalid: because I love u

Me: yea, but I mean why?! What's the reason?

Khalid: because…

Well I want this part to have its own post;**

:$

2009-03-26T15:44:00.001+03:00

I'm so sorry iny 6awalt, but I'm very sick and Misk is sick and everyone here at home is sick:S kaah now I'll write one;** BTW anonymous I'm so sorry for taking a long time!! Love you all and thanks for your patience!!

Part 35

2009-03-21T11:15:00.001+03:00

As we got into Capers we made our way up to the couches, we sat in the cornered couch, she wasn’t there yet, it was 7:40pm, and she had time… Khalid and I sat next to each other hand in hand and he was telling me these lame stories to get my mind off of what's happening. He noticed my tension, my hands became so cold! He held them and rubbed them against his to make them warmer.

Khalid: Mara ana w my cousins were playing truth or dare bil chalet.

Me: ay cousin

Khalid: 9ager! 3arafteeeh? The really tall one

Me: ee il 5ibil?

Khalid: ee ahahah anyways we were playing when…

I couldn’t listen to him or talk back, you guys I was so worried and I didn’t know why! After 3 months of what happened why couldn’t she just let go?! Why couldn’t she just stop all her shit and get out of my life like I asked her to do?! What if she'll look better and take Khalid too? But no no he wouldn’t dare think of that, but what if she'll attract him more?

Me: uff la ta5tha! *tears filled my eyes*

Khalid: w 6abait el ba7aar w… 7ubi shfeech… ta5eth minu?

Me: taa5thek.

Khalid: hal zbala? No sweety she wouldn’t… b3dain ana minu yabeeny, 7ady jaikar *haha*

Me: ana yal jaikar *hahaha*

1 message

Hala: we9alt, wainkum?

Reply: the usual

That’s how we used to talk when we were friends we understood each other. To be honest *LOW THINKING VOICE* after all she did, I miss her deep inside somewhere, shhhh don’t tell Khalid he'll kill me!! But let's be honest I don’t know what happened to her, we grew up together, U555 BITCH!

I heard footsteps up the stairs, then faj2a everything came to mind, should I say hi? Stand up and say hi? Hug her? Cheek kisses? Ignore her and act like I'm talking to Khaloodi? Smile? Stay serious?

Me: jees galbi

Khalid: shda3wa shda3wa tara kilha zbala yayah!

I went with the "I don’t care half serious half ignoring her look", 9ARA7A?! I WANTED REVENGE NOW! As soon as I saw that bitchy MU ME7LAWA face I wanted revenge!

Hala: il salam 3alikum

Khalid: wa 3alaikum il salam

Hala: you were supposed to come alone!!

Khalid: 3indich mani3? *mnafis w wa9la 7addah*

Hala: *sat down* la it's fine…ok I want to tell you something, ever since we left each other...

Me: la et6awleenha w ehe g9eera, shtabeen?

Hala: Lamoo, I'm hala!! We completed each other!! Remember everything we went through and did together?

Me: Nah I have someone who completes me now w oho yiswach *smile* and No I'm sorry I threw out all your memories except for the bitchy ones, they simply won't get erased.

Hala: never mind that, I need your help.

Me: huh, u need my help? Why me why do u expect me to stand with u! 5air?

Hala: I'm pregnant

Me: mabrook

Hala: I'm not married yet

Khalid and I opened our eyes wide and were shocked.

Hala: I know I know, I need someone now!! I don’t know what to do or who to go to.

Khalid: 5al9eena sh9ar!

Hala: remember when I used to always tell you twa5reen 3anah?! Then the night he hit you in your room? When you wanted me to leave?

I looked at Khalid, and he had his angry face on

Me: yea…

Hala: ok this is what happened: Jassim kan killah ydizly msgs yet7arash feeny, and I was already in love and he was yours. So kil marah we were together I would let you answer my phone hoping you would look through the messages to find out cause 5ift I tell you and you wouldn’t believe me so after the day he took you min Starbux kint wayed 5ayfa 3alaich! And I was so scared to do anything!

Hala: I called him to make sure you were ok and I asked to meet him anywhere!! He said he didn’t want people to see us together so they won't take a wrong impression so he wanted us to meet in his chalet, he told me that you would be in my chalet,. And I thought that would be perfect since I would talk to him, and khalaa9 we would figure everything out w ena ywa5er 3ani so you could have a good relationship… and the plan was inah awal ma I get to my chalet netfaham both of us and agoulich twa5reen 3annah.

Hala: When I got to his chalet he greeted me in and wala china we were there to end his nonsense. We sat in his 9ala and I started telling him ina he should stop this w inich t7ibeena w ina he should stop doing all his shit to you and me!

Khalid: ya5i 5al9eena get to the part!

Hala: mashy, so… when he refused ina I tell you about everything w ena ywa5er 3ani and I insisted, he came on top of me, and ripped off my dress and…

Me: aby details!

Khalid: why baby?

Me: I need to know. I want this out of my system I don’t want to spend my time trying to imagine what happened I want you to tell me Hala.

Hala: fine

Khalid gave me a kiss on my head

Khalid: intai bas aamrai w ely tabeena y9eer

Hala: yait ba6la3 min il chalet wila he pulls me into his bedroom, takes off my dress and my underwear and did the basics

Me: Hala! I want to know the details

Hala: (I bet this is so hard for her) *sigh* mashy, he started to give me kissed down my neck to my breasts then he went up again after a long five minutes, and kissed me on my lips, but I didn’t kiss back, I was trying to get out of the room but he was too strong to let me go… he took of my lower underwear and raped me.

Both Hala and my tears started rushing out!

Yet, I was the only one that had someone to comfort me.

Hala: *wiped off her tears* after he raped me he told me that if I spit out a word to anyone he would kill me w yeftha7ni. I ran into the bathroom to clean up, I felt disgusted I hated myself I wanted to kill myself! When I got out he looked worried, LAMA WAIN?

Hala: And how was I supposed to know I was with him! He ordered me to get into his car and that well go to your house, the whole ride back we said no words, we just called you, I couldn’t tell you anything I was hopeless, I needed you but you were too far away, when we got there his temper was up the roof, and you asked me to leave before you opened the door.

Me: yea

Hala: I didn’t know what to do; I went down and stood behind a car waiting for my driver to pick me up. The next day I woke up really early and called your house to check up on what happened and your nannies managed to tell me that he hit you and that he left. I came to your house rushing I had bruised all over my body, I got into your room and saw you there sleeping, I kissed your head, and I saw your face with all the bruised and your body was full of blood and bursted out crying, I wanted you to wake up and see me so I could tell you! And I didn’t want to wake you up!!

Hala: I was too scared, a while later I heard a car park bara your house, I ran into Rula's room hid and found out it was him, I heard his voice waking you up I smell his cologne, the one I despised, I sneaked out of your house slowly and left home. I couldn’t face you not after what happened and I left the love of my life and I left you. I couldn’t do anything. Then for the next two months he would call me and order me to be in his house at a certain hour as if I was his prostitute. After your car accident I couldn’t visit you hadadny and I was too scared too. Bas I did visit your sister and saw the baby we always talked about how we would spoil it!! He didn’t know about that though *she smiled* and when I knew he proposed to you I swore that I wouldn’t let you go through with it! I wouldn’t let you marry a faggot. So I needed to get him and have you as an enemy even though it was so hard and I loved you so much. But the more I gain him, you guys would get further apart and that’s what I wanted! So he would leave you alone.

Hala: So I heard the engagement was off I tried to gain him. And the two times I saw you in starbux he was begging me not to tell anyone about what I knew since at that time I didn’t care about anything and I just wanted to spill to anyone, then when we say you I told him I wanted to go say hi and he slapped me and was like how dare you and we left. The second time when I was wearing your dress it was because I wanted you in any ways I wanted to feel you next to me! And when I saw you come in I was so mad at him because he whispered into my ear about how he was going to make you go through the same shit I'm going through. And he always wanted me around for his pleasure and when he went out with people he wanted us to be a couple bil 8a9eb.

Khalid: shlone you got pregnant?

Hala: less than a month ago I was in his chalet ta7at awamra, we had sex and for the first time he came in me. Then my period didn’t come on time, at all for the next month. I told him, and he gave me an option of traveling chena bakamil masters or something for a year and give the baby up, and that he would kill me if anyone knew and he was out of it. He said that he would just give me money but nothing more. He wanted me to get rid of it. And now I don’t know what to do.

Me: and you expect me to believe all of this?

Hala: I know it's hard to believe bas I swear its proof

Khalid: wain il ethbaat?

Hala: ill call him and listen ok?

Khalid: ok.

Was I supposed to automatically believe her? This all happened and she was the one who needed help, not me? Was this one of their fucked up games or was it true? Did she really want me to be safe and that’s why she went through all of this?

Part 34

2009-03-21T00:38:00.000+03:00

Khalid: 7:30pm mashy?

Me: inshalla baba

Khalid: yala 7abeebty salam

Me: yeslmik

I got out of the car and went to the door looked for the keys in my bag when I found them I turned to find him checking me out, as soon as he noticed he turned his face. I laughed and opened the door, got to my room.

2messages

One message:

Hala: I hope you'll make it tonight its important.

Reply: I will.

Second message:

Khalid: I can't wait till that’s mine: $

Reply: I can't wait either : $

1 message

Khalid: UR KILLING ME!

Reply: I do what I can;)

1 message

Khalid: yala go shower;P I won't peek *angel*

Reply: lool Khalooodi chub;p yala inshalla I'm going!!

1 message

Hala: c ya;*

Reply: fuk ya;)

Hala: …

Reply: stop trying. I said I'll c u there, dnt reply.

I got into the steaming shower, the water was tinkling my entire body, I washed my hair and applied conditioner, I looked down to my stomach, and I have gotten thinner, so much thinner than before!! I guess that’s what love does! Aw malah shi8el, I don’t know! I'm just using him as my excuse!! I rinsed my body and jumped out of the showed, applied cream on to my soft skin, put nail polish on.

I wanted to be perfect with my perfect man and our perfect love story and I wanted to perfectly "8ith-ha" I smiled as I thought about what would happen to her if she saw the situation today!!

“KAAAIF NA5FEE 7OB...”

I automatically answered after the second ring

Me: Hey sweety

Khalid: fidaaaaaaaaaaaaaita wallah

Me: amoooot ana

Khalid: I'm down stairs

Me: i93ad

Khalid: huh?

Me: come on up

Khalid: to ur room?

Me: yea!

Khalid: a5aaf athbi7ich *grin*

Me: I won't let u, yalla come on, bye!

Khalid: mashy

I was already done with straightening my hair; I took my clothes and rushed into the bathroom to change, when I got out of the bathroom I found Khalid sitting on my bed looking spectacular! He looked so hot that I just wanted to jump on him, rip his shirt off and kiss his entire body, I wanted to take off his pants slowly and..

Khalid: you can do everything you're thinking of *grin*

Me: everything I'm thinking of?? *acting STUPID, and BLUSHING*

Khalid: yea, I know your having one of your fantasies about me right this second

Me: if you want to get any lovey dovey shit done tonight i think you should keep that big mouth of yours shut Mr.

I said that in a very sexy way, I looked at him min 6araf 3aini then turned and walked to the mirror to apply makeup. I was wearing a black mosquito dress, I thought it would match me and Khalid, I wore silver Sergio Rossi heels, so I was a bit shorter than Khalid, OK OK A LOT SHORTER*blush*

I applied my make up while he sat on the small couch talking to me

Khalid: shagool?

Me: shetgool?

Khalid: 3anich?

Me: haw shetgool? La tgoul shai!!

Khalid: I just don’t know where to start

I took my hair to my left side to put on my channel earring on the right; he slowly came and stood behind me touched my hips, and pulled me up.

Khalid: your ajmal girl I have ever seen in my life baby you astonishing, everything about you is breath taking.

I blushed turned gave him my back and put on the other earring.

Khalid: you said after lunch!

Me: I said what?

Khalid: that you would make it up to me

Me: I know

Khalid: SOOOOO!!!

Me: don’t rush 7abeeby you'll get what you want sooner than you think

Khalid: laish not now?!

Me: cause I'm so not here!

Khalid: ahhhh yes you are!

I turned looked into him eyes

Me: 7abeeby I mean mentally… I have lots on my mind

Khalid: k I understand

I slowly learned to him and pecked him lips

Me: just wait and c *I winked at him*

Khalid: mishaina *smile*

Me: Yup!!

We got into the car and I opened the radio

Khalid: basam3ich mix enlish

Me: ok

Khalid: 7e6ai bil ipod Mix English songs

Me: k, kah

"HEY THERE DILILAH I KNOW TIMES ARE GETTING HARD BUT JUST BELIVE ME GIRL SOMEDAY ILL PAY THE BILLS WITH THIS GUITAR WE'LL HAVE IT GOOD, ITS TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE ITS TOO LAAAAAAAAATE, WHAT GOES AROUND GOES AROUND GOES AROUND COMES ALL THE WAY BACK AROUND YEAAAAAH, THAT’S HOW LONG IVE BEEEEEN ON YEA, I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW I DON’T KNOW IF YOU HAVE GOT A MAN TONIGHT, THAT IT REALY MAKES ME WONDER IF I EVER GAVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BELIVE IN CAUSE I DON’T BELIVE IN U ANYMORE, I WONDER IF IT EVEN MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO TRY SO THIS IS GOODBYE, ITS TIME TO BE A BIG GIRL NOW AND BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY DON’T CRY DON’T CRY DON’T CRY, MY HEART IS SCRIPPELED BY THE VEIN THAT I KEEP ON CLOSING YOU CUT ME OPEN AND I KEEEEP BLEEEDING IN LOVE KEEEEP BLEEEDING IN LOVE, UMBERELLA ELA ELA ELA AIH UNDER MY UMBERELLAH EVERYTHING YOU OWN IN A BOX TO THE LEFT…."

Khalid ga9ar the songs

Khalid: chinich stanastai wayed *laughing*

Me: chub khalood!!

He parked in front of starbux and we got down, he was holding my hand tight and I didn’t want him to let go! I felt safe; I needed his presence, not Khalid's! Jassim's! I wanted him to see how much I'm in love now and I care less about him! Well that was mean, but I wanted victory!

Part 33

2009-03-20T11:21:00.000+03:00

An hour later

Me: Khalooodi wa5er I'm cooking!!

Khalid: goulai wallah ana khaloodich

Me: walla, now stop and go sit there

I was facing the counter trying to cut some veggies for the salad while the fried chicken was on the stove, he was hugging me from the back and kissing the back side of my neck, and tickling me!

Khalid: gooleeha!

Me: wallah inta khaloodi *I felt the blood shoot through my blood streams*

He turned me slowly held 5a9ri with big hands from each side and looked into my eyes.

Khalid: 5alid shlone I'm going to cook *he was starting to come closer, now looking at my lips*ya3ni wallah ma yamdi and you aren’t hel…

His luscious lips were hung onto mine, he separated mine and closed them back up using his lips slowly and gently, while his hands felt up my back slowly, I couldn’t do anything I couldn’t kiss him back, I just wanted to enjoy him, his lips went down to my lower lip and started to suck on it and slightly bite it, then I did the same, he hugged me closer to his body till all our body parts touched each other. Then he stopped, looked into my eyes…

Khalid: 7elw?

Me: wayed
Khalid: u want more? *he said it in the most sexual tone his voice was so deep*

Me: yea, after I cook *we both burst out laughing*

Khalid: thanks for ruining the moment! *nazal wayha acting all sad w 6ala3 il bur6um*

Me: ill make it up to u after we eat *shy*

Khalid: ok *he grinned*

It was our first time to be all *mushy *lovey* kissy*!! It was embarrassing yet we both enjoyed it. It was different; I guess we needed that, especially with everything going on. Half an hour later, I set the table; put the golden fried chicken on the table with the fries while he got the salad and the cokes. We enjoyed the food and each other's company.

Me: khalood ana ba93ad ur room anagelik shai to wear for tonight, I want u to look so good, 3ashan n7irha

Khalid: mashy baba, u still remember when it is?

Me: yea sweety

Khalid: k then go ill go to Mr. Baker and get us some deserts!!

Me: k bye *kissed his forehead*

I went up to his room; it was on the far left, OMG it changed so much! When we were kids it was full of toys and games now it's just plane black. I looked around his room and at the pictures, cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute I found a picture of our brothers and sisters all in a group smiling to the came, me and khalood were in the middle next to each other. Haha It is so cute readers I might even post it; p I went to his cupboard looked through his clothes and picked a white Gucci 8amee9 with beige shorts with white Todd's. I just loved that look it was so sport sheik!!I placed them on his bed and went back down, I sat for a while watching the tv to find him coming in with starbux drinks and Mr. baker sweets. We sat there for a while talked, joked around.

Khalid: 7abeebty what time is it?

Me: chena it's 5:20pm

Khalid: and when are you supposed to meet Hala?

Me: at 8pm in Capers

Khalid: then shrayech agi6ich home u take a bath look good for me while I do the same then we'll meet up go to Hala then well do something. K?

Me: sure!! Ok listen I chose the Gucci 8amee9 you know the white one with the logo print on the cuffs and your beige shorts and your white Todd's. 7elw?

Khalid: wayed, yala meshaina?

Me: yala!

We got into the car listening to the song, "3a6ni wa3ad"

Khalid and I: *screaming on the top of our lungs off beat*3A6NI WA3AD AN6IR BA3AAAAAAAD 3AWETHNY KIL ILY INFIGAAAAAAAAD 6AMENY IRSEEEEELY 5ABAAAAAAAAAAAAR SHOUGY MIN IL JAAAAAAAMRA A7AAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!! YERTHEEEK NEBGA LIL 2ABAD ANA EF BAAAAAALAAAAD W ENTA EF BAAALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD???

Khalid lowered the music

Khalid: tadreen ina ur perfect?

Me: tawek tadree haha

Khalid: haha la wallah min 9ijy!

Me: why do u say that?

Khalid: you understand me!! Like other girls wouldn’t do that in front of a guy!

Me: I know, I'm just not them

Khalid: that’s why I love you, your natural

Me: inzaain bas m8azaaal, 3eeeeeedha haha

Khlaid: inshaaaalaa mama haha

Khalid put back that part and we sang along, we loved that song it was so heartful..

We got home…

Shetsawee?

2009-03-16T23:24:00.002+03:00

EVERYONE FINICKY HELPED ME WRITE THIS, WELL I TOLD HER THE STORY AND SHE WROTE MOST OF IT!! TALENTED HUH??

-----------------------------------------------------------

So you guys, I have this friend that called me earlier today informing me about an incident that she had encountered a couple of days ago. She really broke my heart so here it is..

A few days back she added this random guy on facebook. He messaged her after a while asking her who she was. Her name was Tala, his name was Rakan. Tala and Rakan talked for the rest of the day and they got to know each other. She admired the fact that he was really honest about himself and didn't have anything to hide. So the next day was a bit of the same dilemma, Tala talked to Rakan the whole day even while she was in University. They attended different universities but she enjoyed each and every moment of their chit chats. She really got to know him better and so did he.

That was when he asked to see her. After she agreed, Rakan gave her his phone number on msn. She had second thoughts at first but she was so eager to see him. Tala felt that he was different; she was certainly not the type that went out with guys or had previous relationships. She was too afraid that by doing that she'd be letting her parents down.

Tala dressed up and made sure that she looked good before she headed for Starbucks. Just her luck, Rakan was to keep it simple second to be none.. in other words flawless. He was tall, really well built, and most of all drop dead gorgeous! She had a majestic time and really enjoyed it but guilt kept stroking her back.

She messaged him as soon as she headed back home;

“Rakan, I'm really sorry but what we're doing is wrong and I can't betray my family's trust and let them down. I'm so sorry but we can still be friends.”

Reply:
“ when i started to get hung up on you? why are you doing this to me?”

She couldn't help it, and replied behind her tears

“Rakan I'm so sorry, I swear I'm even crying, you think I don't want this? Wallah I do but I feel like a bitch doing so”

He didn't reply after a few minutes she sent him another message:
“ we can still be friends”

Rakan replied instantly:
“ wallah 5nigatni el 3abra. Can lovers be friends?”

Tala replied: “ No but you never know what happens, yimkin in time we skip the whole dating stage and be together”

Beep: “ inshalla ily tabeena be9eer w wallah ur one of a kind, and ana met2aked ina time is between us w our paths are going to go across each other w betkooneen min ni9eeby one day inshala”

Tala replied: “ inshala, Rakan if you don't mind please delete my number w itha u want to be friends and need anything you have my email”

“Inshala”
You know that feeling that you want something so bad but you can't have it? That was her position right now. She couldn't just cut him off her life, I know you think that it was too soon for him to like her that much bas wayid irta7aw 7ag ba3ath. As a matter of fact, they talked to each other on msn every once in a while, and he recently told her:

Rakan: Tala ana I talked to my mom, i really needed to talk to someone for advice and I know that she's wise and more experienced I just don't want you to get away from my hands but her words really comforted me, she told me ina inshala itha intay min ni9eebi I'm gonna have you, and I'm sure that you are min ni9eebi inshala”

What was she to say to that? She was crying so much and she really broke my heart! I really wish that I can help her but she can't have him not right now, and they both want each other so badly. He can't propose due to his current status, he wants to graduate, work and have his own income then propose. So what is she to do?

Part 32

2009-03-15T21:00:00.001+03:00

For Exquisite;*
----------------------------------------------

Khalid: bas baba bas 7abeebty

Me: Khalid she called

Khalid: menu 7abeebty who called

Me: *sniff* hala

Khalid: hala? You're friend? The one that used to hang out with us along time ago?

Me: EEEee *crying more*

Khalid: 7abeebty basich bachy fahmeeny sh9ayer!!

I just put my face deeper into his chest and cried more I couldn’t talk I just needed to cry

Khalid: baba, tabeen teyeen baitna nig3ad?

Me: ee *Sniff*

Khalid: yallah

We were in his wanait so he pulled up the cushion in the middle and I put my head on his thigh and cried while he drove and played with my hair and kil shwai he would say…

Khalid: bas baba, bas 7abeebty, la tabcheen 3awartai galbii

When we got there he parked nelt down kissed the tear that was running down my cheek

Khalid: ta3alai 7abeebty, asheelich?

I nodded, I couldn’t get up my blood pressure was going down so fast!

He carried me into his house and out to the balcony, we sat on the couch and our families were off together somewhere in Europe or America so we had the house to ourselves

Me: I wanna tell you something and it’s a long story and I want you to know, so you want me to a5te9erha or just say it?

Khalid couldn’t wait, he wanted to know!

Khalid: 7abebty i5ta9rai w later you'll tell me in detail, just tell what happened ib e5te9ar

Me: I was with a guy I loved so much and he treated me bad and he left me for my friend Hala, and the 7adith I did was because I was crying from what he told me about her and then yah 5e6abni w *sniff* ana refathta and now they are together and I saw them twice together and 6ab3an I stopped talking to her a long time back but she called me wanting to see me today and I can't go alone but I have to go *I said all of that in one breath*

Khalid: ok 7abeebty

Me: abeek teyee weyaay *sniff* 3adee?

Khalid: ee baby ofcourse, but what do you mean he treated you bad? Did he touch you? Rape you? Did he,,

Me: hit me,, yea.. *Tears started to pour out of my eyes again*

Khalid: minu hal 7aywan *he said faj2a screaming*

Me: my ex

Khalid: shesma? * he stood up walked shwai b3eed screaming*

Me: …. *I stayed quiet and just cried*

Khalid: SHESMA?

Me: J.. J.. Jaaseem *I stood up and hugged him from the back* I'm sorry

Khalid: *held my hands 7ail* la tabcheen ana awareeh

Me: baby don’t please

He turned looked at me put his hands around my back and pulled me closer and looked into my eyes

Khalid: bas he hurt u… *he said softly*

Me: I know, but I don’t care I'm with you now *a tear slipped*

Maash the tear and kissed my forehead

Me: come with me elyoum please

Khalid: inshalla ya galbi

I smiled

Khalid: fidait il ebtesama wallah

I put my head down and blushed

Post 31

2009-03-15T20:29:00.003+03:00

Everyone, this post is dedicated to Finicky, haha u know why baby;*
--------------------------------------------------------
Khalid: a7ebech

Me: Khalid, lazem anzil, te2a5ar el wagt

Khalid: mashy 7abeebty, but do I get to talk to you till we fall asleep?

Me: yea but,,,

Khalid: But what galbi?

Me: you told 9ala7 youll go to his dewaniya tonight, remember?

Khalid: FIDAAAAAAAAAAAIT ily Mehtama;** u don’t wanna talk to me? *puppy eyes*

Me: *shy smile* I do bs…

Khalid: mako bas, ma y9eer 5a6rich ela 6ayeb

He gave he a kiss on my fore head, I bit my lip, got out of the car and turned to look at him, to believe what was really going on!

Me: bye

Khalid: bye ya 7elwa

I got into my room, threw my bag on the floor took off my cloths and threw them my pink chair, freshened up in the bathroom then changed into my sleeping wear and into bed…

“KAAAIF NA5FEE 7OBANAA W IL SHOUG FAATHE7, W FY MALAMI7NA MIN IL LAHFA MALAAMI7 3ASHIGAAAAAAIN W NABTHANAA 6IFLIN 7ANOOON...”

Where is it, I looked under my dress and in the bathroom, I looked in my bag and there he was calling

Khalid: day5a?

Me: yea

Khalid: anawmich?

Me: emm

Khalid: you sound so sexy when you're tiered

Me: eheh *soft laugh*

* was too tired to function*

Me: Khalid

Khalid: hala 7abeebty? Hala ya galbi?

Me: nawemny

Khalid: hatha ely tabeena? Wallah ma 6alabtai shai!!

Me: *soft smile*

Khalid: r u wearing ur pj?

Me: yea

Khalid: metla7fa 3adil?

Me: yea

Khalid: shlone nayma?

Me: on my stomach

Khalid: shenu?

Baby ma asma3 you're whispering!

Me: On My Stomach

Khalid: oh ok baby merta7a?

Me: ee

Khalid: ok kan ya makaan ako wa7da kan isimha Lama kanat jameeeeeeeela, w kanat t7ib wa7ed esma Khalid kan 7elllllllllllllllw, haha, hatha ana haha…

Me: hehe

Khalid: then 7abeebty lama kanaat jameeeeeela w kanaw kila yil3iboon 6abeeb w patient, she used to be the doctor, and Khalid was the sick patient, she used to check his fever and,, aloo aloo lamooy aloo 7abeebty

Me: …….

Khalid: 7abeebty namat, gnite ya 7elwa mwwah

1:00pm

"AMINTAK 3ALAIA 3ASHAAN LA2ETNE MSADA2AK! W 3ADAK FY WA2T EL GAD GAMBAK 7ATLA2EEEEEEEEEEEEENI…"

Me: aloo

Girl: I'm sorry

Me: minu?

I couldn’t open my eyes, I was so tiered I needed my sleep!! Who the hell was that?

Girl: it's me, what don’t you have my number?

Me: I can't look at my phone? Menu? *I was moaning my way out of this phone call*

Girl: it's me, Hala

I opened my eyes wide! That bitch has the guts to call me! What does she want!

Me: 5air?

Hala: I know I lost you, but you don’t understand what happened!!

Me: I don’t want to know!

Hala: bs...

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I closed the phone in her face

1 message received

Hala: it’s a long story I'm so sorry I hurt you baby;* if you want to know what happened come to casper and gambinies tonight at 8pm, its important, ill be waiting there alone, love you!;*

What's her problem?!

Dialing Khalid

Khalid: hmm

Me: nayem Khalid?

Khalid: yea, feech shay? Why r you crying? 7abeebty shfeech?

Me: can I see you now?

Khalid: ee 7abeebty, 5alni agoum a'3asel w ayeech, just don’t cry baby.

Me: inshallah *sniff sniff*

I changed into my trainers washed up, he called me

Khalid: ana bara

Me: kany yaya *sniff*As soon as I got into his car I hugged him and cried, and cried, and cried.

I love your blog award!!;*

2009-03-14T01:04:00.004+03:00

Well Love thanks so much honey, I love you;*

1. His love for hatred: You were the first blog I read and you are truly talented!!;* I don't understand why you stopped but your story is amazing!

2. Love: You are truly amazing, whether it's in your stories, your writing, your comments, or your conversations. You were the one that inspired me to write my own story by reading yours!

3. behind these hazel eyes: Your story really lifted me up, I love the details you put into your story and the guys you choose;$!

4. Truth: your story struck me allot, it hurt to read what happened in the end, but we are here for you and I'm so proud of you for being this strong and coming out and talking about your story!

5. My little secret: I LOVE your imagination, it's like we aren't even living here!! You have a wide imagination I love;*

6. Livingmylife: I like how you go out there and say what you want to say with no hesitation, you're a strong woman and you inspire me in this end!!

7. Goodbye my lover: I know you just started to write, but you had the ability to make me cry each time I read any of your posts, I might be over-sensitive but you have something there, and I hope you share the rest of your story with us;*

Part 30

2009-03-13T11:54:00.001+03:00

Saying prayers? Him? He doesn’t even look religious!! I love guys that are free bas they still have their religious side there, ya3nii they pray and yet they still have fun in their lives! I never knew he was that kind of guy, well we cruised along talking the whole time laughing having fun... this went on for around 2 weeks, we worked on the project everyday and sometimes the whole day, we became good friends, we understood each other, always laughed, we had fun, we were comfortable with each other, we liked each other but never confessed anything and he flirted, and I blushed, it was the usual!! We fooled around took pictures of us and of everything around us!!

On the last day of the project, we had a couple of pictures for each subject, they were all photoshoped and laminated by Khalid and I just needed to decide on which one I wanted...i haven’t seen the pictures photoshoped and done, I trusted Khalid to do a good job and at that time we were just putting everything together,I needed to pick the picture I liked most and put it into each subject and we were organizing it all in a nice portfolio; we were sitting in caspers in front of Soug Sharq, we were the only ones there.

Me: ok let me check my list, la7tha let me find it...ok here it is...*I read each one out loud and he checked if we had a picture of it or not* 1.Transportation?

Khalid: ee, this is the picture of the 1920’s vehicle, w we had the light beaming on it, it’s in black and white, do you like it or do you prefer the one with the bike??

Me: Madri I like them both*I pouted*

Khalid: laa kilshai wala tez3ileen haha

Me: I’ll choose the 1920’s vehicle it’s more unique! 2. the most beautiful creature with 4 legs...

Khalid: ok, we have a baby crawling and we have a horse jumping a fence, the baby is a boy fa sawait the picture darajat blue and he was looking up with one hand up and pouting, or you have the horse and the picture is a negative, and the sun is behind him?

Me: The baby looks cuter, madry it’s what I think of the most beautiful creature with 4 legs.

Khalid: next?

Me: 3. Force of Nature

Khalid: we just have on picture, it was the sand storm one and you were walking with a rain coat and hat against the wind, w behind you the tree is leaning the other way you were walking and its leaves were flying off, hathy sawait the background all beigi colors, bas your colored and your rain coat is purple!!

Me: it looks so nice!!! Chena I’m not in Kuwait right??!

Khalid: yea! Ily ba3da?

Me: 4. No place like home

Khalid: ok we have two pictures, one of them ily u took of the nannies ib your house which I made darker and the other was the one bil wafra lama it was fayer and the sun came out and it looked like a desert, in this picture I had the sun really bright and beaming.

Me: you choose this one.

Khalid: the second one a7la

Me: ok umm,, 5. World?

Khalid: the drawing you drew of the world in the car, I made it negative, it’s nice tara, or the glob ely ham negative?

Me: mine a7la 6. Reflection

Khalid: I have the one with your dog reflecting from the water, or the one of you driving and I was in the back and I took a picture of you from the centre mirror with bas your eyes showing? I had them both focused on the object reflected then blurred on the outside. Choose yours a7la *he grinned*...

I sensed something wrong, really wrong, he was hesitant about something, I just didn’t know what it was!

Me: ok then mine *I smiled* 7. Education

Khalid: the only one we have was you taking a picture of my books that were in the back seat from the passenger’s seat. I left them just like they were, simple.

Me: 8. Sickness

Khalid: the kid in the hospital or the needle and drip, 7ag both of them I changed the background to red...

Me: the needle, a7es kilman is going to put someone sick right?

Khalid: yea true... *his face became red suddenly, he looked as if he was going to burst he took a sip of his water*

Me: what’s wrong?

Khalid: ‘3a9ait

Me: min shenu w didn’t eat anything

Khalid: *hesitant* umm my gum!

Me: k take care ok ... 9. Love

Khalid: I have two pictures the first one is me and you taking a picture of ourselves together while I was driving, we were both pouting... *he blushed* I call that love.

I didn’t know what to say, my heart fell and I immediately looked down and started to play with my hands. I blushed and smiled slightly. He put his hand on my chin and tilted my head up.

Khalid: you don’t want to see the other one?

Me: mbala *blushing more*

Khalid: kahee

It was a paper written, “Would you be my Lama? Would you be my girlfriend?”

I opened my eyes wide,

Me: I choose the first

Khalid: and the second *he looked as if someone had slapped him*

Me: That’s the one I want to put for 10. Happiness *I blushed*

Khalid: ya3nii ok?! *he said all jumpy*

Me: ee

Khalid: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 7abeebty intai *he took both of my hands and started to peck them*

Me: are we done?

Khalid: yea?

Me: let’s cruise around, k?

Khalid: inshalla honey, let me just pay the check

I was so shocked and happy and surprised and in love, I wanted this, I got this, I know he is going to stay perfect its Khalid, Khalood, Khaloodi..
My Khaloodi now!!

Part 29

2009-03-13T10:00:00.003+03:00

As I approached our table his eyes were covering me all up and he had a simple smile, uff his dimples were so cute, and I’m in love with his dirty look, its so sexy! He was wearing Abercrombie and Fitch training pants and a white polo.

Khalid: hala bil zain

Me: hala feek

Khalid: ta3alai gi3dai hnee

He stood up and pulled out the chair I was going to sit in

Me: so shlonek?

Khalid: tamaam

Me: you look so sleepy

Khalid: yea I know haha

Me: ok lets order I’m starving!

Khalid: ok sure

We ordered our breakfast and orange juice and started to remember the “old times”, all our memories as children

Me: hahaha remember when we were in the chalet once and your brother was in the bathroom and we scared him by the noises we made outside..

Khalid: yea hahaha he got out of there crying!!

Me: how old were we like, 9 aw 10?

Khalid: yea I was 10 and you were 9, I think and he was 12 or something

Me: haha what about the time we stole the car?? Remember what your dad did when he found out it was you from kumar?
Khalid: yea I hated that driver, haha yea remember, I was grounded the next day and I couldn’t go swimming with you guys, bas 7aram your dad convinced him otherwise…

Me: ok Khalid,, about my..

Khalid: goulai khalood

Me: KHALID

Khalid: goolai khalood

Me: kh- a- l- I d

Khalid: az3al?

He looked at me with his dark brown eyes, its like he got into my soul

Me: about my project

Khalid: az3al.

Me: khalood *I said it blushing and so fast I don’t think he heard it* about my project, shrayek we cruise around after breakfast and take pictures?

Khalid: sure *he had the biggest smile on his face!!*
(I remember how I always had a crush on her, I cant belive we became really far, ityanin and her personality is amazing, I love her, its too fast I know, what am I saying bas I imagine her as my gf, my love, my wife, we have always been perfect together!) ana raye7 il 7amam ok?

Me: sure…

I sent mama a msg: YOU ARE AMAZING, I LOVE YOU;*

Mama msg: laish mama?

Reply: mama Khalid is amazing!

Me: excuse me, the check please
Waiter: No Maam, Your husband payed for it!

Me: no no he is not my husband were friends

Khalid: hopefully not for long

I blushed ignoring his comment! He sat down…

Me: laish defa3t?

Khalid: ana 3azmich 3aib 3alaich!

I looked down to read Mama’s msg: ok 7abeebty don’t start anything! Mama you know ana a3aref his mother, w 3aib, just keep it as that, friends, ok 7abeebty?

I smiled and replied: ok mama, I still love you;*

I looked up at him still smiling, he gave me this look as in what’s wrong with you…

Me: mama tsalim 3alaik

Khalid: Yakima *faj2a his confused face lit again and he smiled* meshaina?

Me: yalla

Khalid: my car?

Me: sure

We walked to his car, and we talked about when I needed to submit the project to see how long I had to work on it, when we got to the car, we sat in, and he started saying a couple of prayers then we drove off,,,

Part 28

2009-03-13T09:23:00.003+03:00

“KAAAIF NA5FEE 7OBANAA W IL SHOUG FAATHE7, W FY MALAMI7NA MIN IL LAHFA MALAAMI7...”

YES, he had his own ring tone already since last night *BLUSHING*

My phone was ringing so loud, I was looking for it with my right hand, my eyes were still closed, I didn’t want to wake up! Being the heavy sleeper I am!

Me: aloo *cranky voice and eyes still closed*

Khalid: 9aba7 il 3asal, r u still sleeping

Oh shit I completely forgot about our breakfast date! I jumped up into my sitting position and opened my eyes wide to adjust them to the light.

Me: la la mu nayma!!

Khalid: ahaa so you’re the kind of girl that answers after the fifth phone call?

Me: *shiiiiit!* ok ok guilty as charged

Khalid: laa ana za3alt

Me: laish?!

Khalid: I’m so happy I’m going to seeing you today so I woke up early sent you a msg, then got dressed
then called and ur sleeping? *he sounded sad *

Me: Khalood I’m so sorry wallah mu 8a9di, I just slept late last night and…

Khalid: STOP!

Me: what?

Khalid: say it again! *his voice turned into a demanding voice*

Me: I’m sorry

Khalid: no say everything you just said again!

Me: Khalood I’m…

Khalid: bas stop!

Me: shfeeek?! *confused*

Khalid: rathaiteeny!

Me: How?!! Ma 5alaitny akamel 7eta!

Khalid: mu ana khalood?! 5ala9 rethait!

Me: huh?

Khalid: you said khalood while you were saying sorry w men hal kilma rethait!

Oh no I didn’t!!!!!!! THIS IS SO EMBARESSING! I didn’t say a word, I was frozen in my thoughts.

Khalid: fedait ely yisti7oooon!!!

Me: Khalid BAS! *blushing*

Khalid: fine!! Ok get up and change, meet you in Johnny in half an hour!

Me: k

I closed the phone and got up to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

LAA LAA I couldn’t have said khalood, uff never mind that! What should I wear? The pink shirt with jeans?! No it’ll look like I don’t care, too casual! Ok how about my torques H and M skirt with the flowy white top, no ill look desperate!

I continued to think as I used the bathroom and applied my simple make up did my hair straight.

OK I’ll wear the jeans and the white flowy shirt, it’ll look nice and decent!

I got out of the house as fast as I can, I rode the car put my big Cavali bag in the passengers seat, put my earrings and necklace on, and drove of!

While I drove I found 5 missed calls from him and a msg. The msg said: 9aba7 il 5air ya 7elwa, yala 3aad I hope you woke up, I have been looking forward to this since yesterday 7eta ma nemt 3adil!! don’t ask why! Ill call you in a while!

As soon as I read the msg,,,

“KAAAIF NA5FEE 7O..”

Me: aloo

Khalid: hey where are you?

Me: on the way

Khalid: you got your headphones on?

Me: yea…

Khalid: great, so how long do you need to get there?

Me: give me 7 minutes

Khalid: *cracked up* laish mu 6 aw 8 why 7??!

Me: I don’t know its just going to take 7 minutes *as I joined him in laughter*

Khalid: haha ok ok, do you think you can talk and drive for 7 minutes?

Me: sure

Khalid: ok, ohh my favorite song, listen!!

Me: k
He turned up the music, “Sheftaha w enseeet nafse min akoon ma agdar aw9if ma jaraly law shara7t sha3ritin ma bain 3agle wal jenoon” as it was on we were both singing along, bas after the course staw3abt ina I was the only one singing, so I stopped!! He turned down the music!

Me: laaish I want to hear! I love the song!!

Khalid: and I want to hear your voice, I love it! So if you don’t sing it wont play! *chuckling*

Me: fine!

Khalid: asha’3la?? * so jumpy*

Me: no.

Khalid: Shai6ana ma te’3ayartai mako fayda feech *we both laughed*

Me: tara we9alt u?

Khalid: yea I’m parking

I glanced at my watch

Me: Khalid, when did we start talking?

Khalid: la7tha,, umm, 10: 15am

Me: and what time is it now?

Khalid: 10:22am

Me: told ya *grinning*

Khalid: haha told you, you havent changed a bit

Me: ok ok, I’m giving the valet my car, ill meet you inside bye

Khalid: bye

He is so cute!!!! Yet, I’m not sure of what he meant by I didn’t change a bit, does he mean I’m still a kid? Aw I’m immature? I hope he doesn’t cause I’m enjoying his company! I gathered all of my things and got into starbux, we sat outside, the weather was amazing, sunny with a drift of wind, and he looked astonishing!

Part 27

2009-03-12T11:36:00.000+03:00

I saw a guy wearing a dish dasha with short jelled back hair, and a big nose with small eyes and big lips. I felt so shocked he looked uglier not hotter at all! He looked like a 3gaidi guy from marina or something…So all I did for him obviously went to waste!!! I walked to his table…

Me: il salam 3alaikum

Khalid: Wa 3alaikum il salaam, 7ayaach *as in ba'3aitai shai??*

I pulled out a chair and sat down…

Khalid: 7ayaach?

Me: y7ayeek, so shlonek long time no see!!

Khalid: yea 7eta intai long time no see..? *confused*

1 message received:

Khalid: Ga3ed a3id 9arlich 15 minutes wainich??!

I didn’t want to turn and look at him, its embarresing so I msged back…

Me: ana ga3da weyaak 3al 6awla;p

Khalid: R u serious?! Im alone…

I turned and looked at the guy I was sitting with…

Me: 5alid shfeek?!

The guy: i5ti minu 5alid?!!

Me: weeeeeeeh asfa 7esbaly Khalid, im so sorry, uff shfeek ma tgoul shai min awal ma ga3adt!!

The guy: ana shfeeni? Madri minu ely yah w ga3ad 3al 6awla w ysoulif… ana?

I just got up with me RED face and turned to find him sitting on the table behind us and laughing his ass off… I didn’t want to go sit with him I was so embarrassed and I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice… faj2a he stood up and came up to me…

Khalid: lama?

Me: ee *Still blushing!!*

Khalid: laaish mesta7ya tara t9eer!!, but come on u thought I was him!! Give me a little credit adree kint jaikar w ana 9'3eer but not that much!!

He started to laugh as he put his hand on my back and led me to the table, I started to laugh too..He was wearing a crispy baby blue Burberry shirt and white shorts. He was taller than me in a lot and his body was so built with a 6 pack stomach the way I liked it. So for starters he is STYLISH!! Looked up at his face he has long gorgeous hair, (ely when they put the cap on the ends of the hair curve out) he had sharp features, his lips were big, his eyes were wide, his nose was small, he looked nothing like the old Khalid!!

I'm not sure why but every time our eyes met we would both smile and my heart would flutter, we ordered food and drinks, and worked on the pictures I brought along with me… we enjoyed ourselves a lot, he was the perfect guy, a guy I had in my life all along but never gave any attention to, a guy that could complete and would complete me.

We left there at around 10:30pm. He walked me to my car held the door till I got in.

Khalid: lama me7lawa, 9ayra '3air 3an gabl, ya3ni ma 3araftich!!

Me: 9ij? Ya3nii to the better or the worse

Khalid: 6ab3an the better!!

We both blushed and I looked down!!

Khalid: yala lama ana basayrich lain baitkum, bas mu it6eereen haa (and he gave me a big smile with his pearly white teeth) w 7e6ai ur headphones aby akalmich till we get there laana ma abe nmil bil way

Me: inshalla baba Khalid *blush!!*

He slowly closed the door and got into the Range parked next to me and drove me home, We stopped at a red light was behind me.

Khalid: 6al3eeny

Me: shlone?

Khalid: min the center mirror ily it6il wara

Me: ok, kaah im looking *we smiled at each other as our eyes met*

Khalid: haa tisti7eeeeen??

Me: noo *with a laugh*

Khalid: inshalla tshoufeen 6ireejech! The ishara opened

Me: haha ok ok!

He drove me home safely and we closed the phone planning on seeing each other the next day for breakfast to work on the "project"! well I didn’t care about that anymore, all I cared about was him, his personality, he is funny, fun, talkative, caring, hot everything a girl would want.

Everything I want.

Part 26

2009-03-11T19:13:00.001+03:00

I didn’t have in mind that it would be him calling and I didn’t remember that this was Khalid's number…

Me: aloo *sleepy/ cranky voice*

Khalid: Hala wallah!! Minu ma3ai?

Me: ana, int minu?

Khalid: intai? W menu enta? Daaga?

I recognized his voice..

Me: Khalid?

Khalid: yes,, and you are?

Me: Lama al X

Khalid: hala walla lama shlonich sha5barich??

Me: I'm fine wallah *Yawn*

Khalid: laykoon ga3adtich?!

Me: la its fine, I was supposed to get up an hour ago anyways…

Khalid: Ha wain hal '3aiba??

Me: you know jam3a and stuff! I'm sorry 3al iz3aaj, I know your busy with work and everything but I needed help for my photography class project and ur mom said you could help me.

Khalid: ee 7ayaach allah!! When is it due?

Me: in two weeks, bas its long…

Khalid; 3ayal tabeen we meet up tonight?

Me: *ditching my plans:D* sure wain? *I acted so casual*

Khalid: how about in Living Colors shuwai5? In an hour?

Me: inzain sure bye

Khalid: bye

Is it possible? Could he be as hot as his voice is? Haha I doubt it he wasn’t that good looking when we were young either… I got up, wore my torques Prada dress, put my hair into a pony tail and wore beige flats. I applied blush and eyeliner; I haven’t seen him for a long time!! I wanted to look hot for him!! I didn’t know why!

As I left the house I got a msg..

Khalid: ana we9alt wainich?

Reply: 5 minutes away

Khalid: ok yallah ana bag3ad da5el

I was there in 10 minutes; I parked in between a Range and a Porsche, I gathered all of my project materials and I took the camera to show him a couple of pictures and went down… I entered the restaurant and saw him sitting there…

:(

2009-03-10T15:40:00.002+03:00

You guys!! Misk is crying so much and i have tried everything with her! And now i dont know wat to do:(,,,,, HELP!

Part 25

2009-03-10T15:36:00.001+03:00

After a long month of fun, I decided to take a photography class where I can take photos of random things. After 2 weeks into the class I met a lot of people and we went to coffee after class or we went cruising to take pictures with our big black professional cameras. Our first project was to take pictures of things on the list, each person had a different list and mine was:

1. Transportation
2. The most beautiful creature with 4 legs
3. Force of Nature
4. No place like home
5. World
6. Reflection
7. Education
8. Sickness
9. Love
10. Happiness

I looked at my list wondering how hard it was to do it. I can't just take a picture of the thing they asked for. It has to be different, something no one else in class would do. So my group and I decided to work separately on this project.

Calling mama…

Mama: hi Lama honey how are you?

Me: fine mama u?

Mama: tamam, is there anything wrong?

Me: no mama I just have this project…

And I started to talk about what I should do and how and blah blah blah,,,

Mama: 7abeebty Khalid wild 7anan is still in Kuwait, and 5altich 7anan says he can help you since he is really good with photography, so I'll msg you his number, call him and see if he can help you

Me: ok mama bye, I'm waiting

Mama: ok honey, kah yallah

1 new msg (3:44pm) mama

9934****

Dialing: 9934****

Khalid: aloo *low voice*

Me: aloo, umm Khalid, are you sleeping?

Khalid: ee minu?

Me: akalmik later!!

I closed the phone, AMBAAAAAAAAAAAAI fashla!! He was sleeping!! His voice was so masculine!! I remember when we were kids, we were always out together with our parents, but I guess we grew into different groups, he was so fun!! I was so tiered I thought I would sleep and wake up at 7 to meet up with the group, I went into my bed applied medicine on my stupid scars and slept.

I woke up to find my phone ringing …I looked at the time on my mobile screen it was 8:01pm…
9934****

Part 24

2009-03-10T13:59:00.001+03:00

When I saw Jassem and Hala in starbux she was wearing jeans and a white shirt with big earrings and she had her hair down, he was wearing a pink polo shirt against his tanned body with dark jeans. I was going in with a group of guys and girls; we were going to have breakfast before their summer course in university. I was ordering when I heard laughter and recognized her voice not his, I turned to find them sitting on a big orange couch with her legs both crossed and with him holding both of her hands looking at something. I guess it was the "ring" he gave her or something.

I casually walked by with my friends, they didn’t know about Jassem and Hala, well except for Jana, she stood next to me and started to tell me funny things so I could smile, and I did! My heart was racing so fast and my face was RED! I looked so good with my black Versace dress with the big off-white belt, I had my hair straightened down with a big channel bag and Zara flats. I didn't have a lot of makeup on, just blush and mascara.

They saw me watch by smiling, looking good, they turned silent. It seemed like it was the day they were meant to enjoy themselves, enjoy each other, but luckily for me *PROUD* that I ruined that for them!!! We then sat on the other side talking joking around, and as we were I watched them leave starbux an hour later with tears in her eyes, I guess they had a fight or something… OH WELL…

The next time I saw them in chilies I was going in with Hamad to meet up the rest of our friends, he was one of the guy friends that were with us that day in starbux, he was the only one that had nothing to do in the summer, just like me, we hung out a lot. I was wearing a white training suite with a black top and Hamad was wearing Armani trainers. When we got into chilies we waited for a table and as we stood up to go to our 5 person table I glanced over at a table with two couples sitting, Jassem and Hala with his hand over her shoulder laughing and talking, he was wearing a dishdasha and she was wearing my green dress, THE ONE SHE NEVER GAVE BACK, with 7mood and 5ouloud (our married friends we have known for so long!!) 7mood and 5ouloud got up and headed my way to say hi, we talked for awhile and I introduced them to Hamad , as we said our goodbyes I glanced back at Jassem and Hala again and he was looking at me while she was looking at him! She looked so mad it was pleasuring.

Well at that moment I didn’t feel anything, my heart didn’t race and my face wasn’t red with the blood running around, I was happy I caused them a problem yet again!!

Part 23

2009-03-10T13:17:00.002+03:00

Mama left the room, she needed to go home get wake up baba and give him his medications, cook, then go to my sister then come back to me...

Me: Jassem eg3ad

Jassem: ha lamooytii tabeen shai?

Me: ee, i6la3 bara

Jassem: what?

Me: get out!

Jassem: why honey do you need to change? Is there anything wrong?

Me: yea, this is wrong!

Jassem: what's "this"?

Me: us being engaged, go back to Hala I don’t want you anymore and I made that clear just as you did in starbux!

I didn’t shed a tear or skip a heartbeat, I didn’t even care! And he just left.

I left the hospital the same night and had Jana and Sara came over to watch a movie. I haven't seen my nephew yet!! I wanted to so bad! We had fun that night and they left after they made sure I slept.

Two days later Mama, Baba, Faisal and Rula left for their vacation and the left me behind. They were thinking of canceling to stay with me but I insisted since they have planned this for the last 3 months. I wanted the house to myself, I wanted freedom and peace!! They were going for 7 weeks to America and around Europe with some family friends. so my daily schedule was to:

Wake up

Breakfast: starbux with friends

Go shopping, walk around, sleep, whatever!

Lunch: Eat anywhere they choose

Go to a movie, chocolate bar, walk around or hand out at home

Dinner: NO dinner

That was my boring routine. Each and every day it was the same and I would come back home all alone, sleep by myself or have a friend sleep over. Well my parents called to check on me every day and I would go to sleep over at Lena's house and play with Talool. I actually enjoyed my time and I didn’t have to think of Jassem or Hala. Yet I saw them twice together. Once in starbux holding hands and the second was in Chilies. They were sitting next to each other and he had his hand around her. I heard they were engaged but I wasn’t sure of my source.

SUPRISE;**

2009-03-04T23:40:00.003+03:00

HEEEY EVERYONE!! I miss you soooo much and love you all, I'm so sorry I haven't posted for ages but I have been in…
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
************
*************
**************
***************
****************
*****************
******************
*******************
********************
*********************
**********************
***********************
************************
*************************
**************************
***************************
****************************

LABOUR: p

Finicky: AT LAAAAAAAAAAST:p

I have a new baby!!! We were expecting a boy but I guess we have to return all the blue stuff, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, she looks like me unlike her daddy Yes she is my first baby!!! And I'm so sorry I ruined the story for you guys but I needed to tell you all!!! I'm so happy and no worries I'm going to continue it soon!!
We have no idea what to call the baby! We want a unique name, help me out:$:*!!!

Part 22

2009-02-27T11:12:00.002+03:00

I woke up the next day with a very cute position of sleeping next to him,,, I was sleeping on my stomach and luckly the "drip" was on my left hand, he was sleeping on his back, my head was on his chest, i woke up by the site of my mohter covering us up cause it was chilly... why were they so good to me? my parents? they have been here for 3 weeks straight, they didnt travel for work,, and my sisters Leena and Rula havent showed up though, Ive seen Rula once, a week ago, and Faisaal!! he came over every morning and everynight, he slept over twice and he always got my starbux:) i love him!

Me: mama

Mama: ha mama, you woke up 7abebty?

Me: ya mama

Mama: 3asa ma ga3adtich!!

Me: no mama, its ok...

Mama: ok 7abebty ga9rai your voice, Jassem nayem, w he hasnt been sleeping for so long...

WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE THEY KNOW HIM THAT WELL, OR THAT THEY CARE! OR THAT THEY KNOW WHAT HE HAS DONE TO ME?! i ignored her comment.

Me: mama! wain my brothers, and wain baba?

Mama: well 7abebty, baba nayem bel bait, he has been trying to go back and forth to 2 hospitals, and since Jassem nayem 3indich, Rula nayma 3ind Leena and faisal is comming in a while...

Me: mama laish 2 hospitals (i had a tear in my eye)

Mama: 9ertai 5alah mama

She gave me the biggest smile ever, OMG OMG im an aunt!!

Part 21

2009-02-27T02:25:00.000+03:00

Me: Baby!! noo, noo 7abeeby noo don't go!!

J: I'm not going anywhere

Me: Jasoomi I need you! Don't leave me!

J: 7abeebty ana mawjood

He said it with so much sympathy and touched my hand as I cried and screamed my way out of my coma... I opened my eyes to find him with a broken shoulder on my left side, holding my hand, and I turned to find my father sitting on my right side looking at me…

Baba: hadai 7abeebty, 7a9al 5air, kahou Jassim yamich…

Me: Baba minu hatha (I moved my hand right out of Jassim's hand)?

Baba: Jassim ya ooboi, Jassim

Me: La baba Jasoomi died

I cried so much and started to scream hysterically, it took me time to figure out who everyone was again… the day I recognized Jassim, I was relived, hurt, shocked and confused. I heard him die, he died! I'm sure he did! I wasn’t fanaticizing but I heard him say "2a,,shh,,hd, 2aan, laa el,aah, ela, alaa"… It was him, was it...? I still couldn’t get the fact that he was still living… this took nearly 3 weeks, I had memory loss..

Baba came in on the second week claiming Jassem yah 5e6abny the day the accident happened… all I could think of was him and Hala and them together,, I didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, I was over it…

I woke up on Tuesday of week 3 at 1:30am to find the room pitch black… it was dark and scary, yet I felt comfortable… I turned and found Jassim sitting on the chair next to me leaning his head asleep on my bed, holding my hand with his left hand, and his other hand was broken… I couldn’t see him like this,,, it hurt more…

Me: Jasoomi… baby… 7abeeby…

I tried waking him up slowly so he wouldn’t get frightened… I stroke his hair back so he would wake up calmly…

Jassem: Yea honey, shenu baba whats wrong tell me baby, aamrai (he jumped up)

Me: goum naam up next to me, you don’t look comfortable!

Jassem: la la e5thay ra7tich 7ubi

Me: Jassem.

He looked so dizzy, his eyes were puffed and he was drooling…

Jassem: Hmmm babatii?

Me: yala ta3al

I gave him half a smile

He got up and turned to my right side so I wouldn’t get bothered by his broken hand, I scooted for him and he laid down, he played with my hair with his muscular left hand…

Jassem: did your father tell you eny 5e6abtich?

Me: yea…

Please don’t start!!!

Jassem: you know why I did that?

Me: because you feel bad for what you did? And you love me?

Jassem: Other than that baby,,, I wanted to be next to you ib your bad times and how was I suppose to represent myself in front of your family? I wanted to be next to you all the time, ana abe asaa3dich tashfeen….

Oddly while he kept talking the medicine kicked in an I fell asleep…

Clarification

2009-02-24T22:20:00.002+03:00

Part 18.. J commented
J never had the chance to explain things before, but he sent me a msg asking me if that blog was me and i told him it was so he thought he should comment..
I'm sure some of you are like NO WAY HE IS DEAD, well no he isnt,, and I'm sure the other half is like "lol she probably told someone to write it" but Wil ka3ba ina he wrote it and messaged me telling me he is going to write "j" infront of what he is going to say since he couldnt answer that day he wanted to answer now jidam kilam...
I promise you , and u could ask Jana, she knows,, sorry for the Inconvenience;*

Part 20

2009-02-24T19:57:00.000+03:00

When I got to my car, I put the seatbelt on put my head on the steering wheel and wept… I wanted him, he was mine not hers! He is mine! He loved me wallah he did, why did he say all that? I heard a knock on my window, I turned to find him, with tears filling his eyes…

J: ba6lai

Me: waaa5er!

J: ba6lai the door I want to talk to u

Me: move! Go to Hala I hate you!

J: baby I know it isn’t from your heart..

I drove out of the parking and drove home so fast, I was driving on 130km/hr 3al ba7ar I needed him I wanted him. My eyes were full of tears and everything was so blurry in my eyes. I felt my heart pound fast, I hated the state I was in, all I needed was to get back home and cry forever…

Phone call J

Missed call J

1 new message unread

Phone call J

Missed call J

Phone call J

J: 5afefay! Ana warach stop now! I want to tell you something,

I looked to the back from the left side mirror, he was right behind me, I threw my phone on to the passenger seat and I heard him scream louder and louder... The car in front of me stopped instantly I turned to the left lane then crashed... the last thing I heard was…

J: Stoooop stooooooop! Lamaa take care…..

Moments later I woke up; it took me time to realize what has happened and the pain I was in… I started screaming, I needed help, men started to help me out of the car, they tried hard, by the time they did I heard sirens I was slowly getting dizzy and started fainting again when I heard...

Man: SHAAHED SHAAHED,, GOUL ASHHAD ANA LA ELAHA ELA ALLAH

J: 2a,,shh,,hd, 2aan, laa el,aah, ela, alaa

Man: ina lilah w ina ilayhe raje3oon… tewafa

Everything was black…

Part 19

2009-02-24T01:08:00.001+03:00

I ran out of starbux not wanting anyone else to see me cry, before I got to the door he held my arm real tight till he turned me to face him…

J: ana yaay agoulich eny I'm getting married to Hala (then he looked down)

Me: HALA! HALA! Min mita u knew her! Why didn’t you tell me

Screaming, thankfully it was totally empty.

J: hadai let's talk about it

Me: mooooove

SCREEEEEEEAAAAMING!

Me: I hate u! I hate u!

Then I collapsed into his arms, he carried me with his strong arms and sat me up. I was crying so much, I couldn’t stop, my throat hurt I wanted to die at the moment! He was getting married and to MY BEST FRIEND! How could they?! She had M!!!

Me: I'm not a game! You promised me!

J: first of all lama I wanted to see what you were going to say today, if it was a yes, we would have been together, but it isn’t so we aren’t, and I didn’t want you to hear it from people I wanted to tell you myself. Hala and I have been dating since these 4 months, we started to develop feelings and mostly the last 2 months when we were on a beak and we love each other a lot and I think she is the one. But I couldn’t let you go because I made you go through so much, and she couldn’t let M go since kisar 5a6erha, he loved her too much. And we promised each other that we would put you guys bil maw8if when we r getting married. The only reason I proposed is because I felt bad for you, I hit you! And the whole "starbux" thing was Hala's idea to scare you off, but u didn’t, you held on. Bas the day I hit you was because 5eft 3alaich! I didn’t want you to do something stupid, I felt responsible for you since your parents were never there.

I was shocked, my eyes opened wide!

Me: cheated on me you asshole?! And on M!!! you assss! You shouldn’t feel bad for me! You should feel bad for your fucked up mind ya 7maaaar! Fuck you and Hala, the starbux thing! Do you know that I could be closed with my family if it wasn’t for you, w et6egny ba3ad, you're not responsible for shit! You cried yourself to sleep when you were drunk in the chalet you bastard! Remember that?! I'm sure you don’t!

J: baby I loved you so much honey, and yea I recall that, and I hoped you didn’t remember, and baby hatha 3agle il ba6eny ga3d yetkalam cause that’s all I think of! How and why I fell out of love with you. I loved you so much! Why did I loose or that love?! Hala isn’t half as good as you, but I guess that’s who my heart chose next baby.. I'm sorry.

Me: Never mind all you said. I'm happy for you

I want going to show him I'm weak anymore! he doesn’t deserve it! I stood up, smiled, went over to him leaned till my lips were to his ear, and whispered…

Me: I thought you were going to say happy 4th anniversary. Bye bye.

I walked out of there so strong now, why would I need him anymore. when I gave him that speech I still wanted him to come back running so I can go back feeling stronger, but I guess that’s not how that game is played. He sat in his place wondering what the date was, then remembered that it was their 4th anniversary and he never forgot. What happened to him, he became the carless guy that just lost the best thing that ever happened to him and the guy that was going to marry Hala, the girl he barely knew (he did lie to Lama), and their parents are forcefully making them get married. Since their parents claimed they were too old and they had to be for each other. Everything he said that day was a lie. He did cry for lama, he still loved her, but he couldn’t stand in the way of his dad.

J: ana asef 7abeebty kil 3aam w entail b5air (he whispered to himself)

Part 18 7ubna Kan A7la Qee9a

2009-02-24T00:01:00.004+03:00

Me: Baby you know what you mean to me, inta marait weyay ib kil throofe el 9a3ba w el sahla, ely tza3el w ely twanes, w ana ib kil 7ayatii ma 7asait eb wanasa ily w ana weyak w gereeba minik, 7eta remember all our small fights *hehe* and the big ones... no one had our love baby, Inta tadree ena your my baby, my man, my love, I can't live one day without you. Enta te7amaltny IB 3a9abeety w za3aly w dala3y w marathe w no one could handle me w I know that! w ham ana te7amaltek eb 3a9abeetek w kilshai feek, w te8abalta w a8bela w a7ebek... *tearing, chocking on tear* lou alif il 3alam kilaha wallah ya J ina ma alga rayal methlek, yehtam feeny, ywanesny, ydali3ny, w 7eta yefthaly... kil our thekrayaat ma agdar ansaha w I always think about them (Bektob ismak ya 7abeeby...) w (keeefak all 3am be2oolou) w our favorite (Ba6amenak)… u think eny nesait or ra7 ansa the days we sang them together aw the days we had so much fun, aw the days we would talk on the phone for hours, or laugh for hours for no reason... Enta sheftny bel zain w el shain, w I didn't care. e3tebartek raylee, ana a7ebek bas il hawa thedna! ne7taaj neftereg, I don't want that, bas I can't 7abeeby, you know shenu ga3d y9eer feene al7een, *crying* I can't live without you baby I want you in my life bas i cant have you baby chenek shay 7elw w il kil mani3ne mina! your my drug baby wedy kilman ygoulina "be together" aw "allah ywafigkum", bas thats not going to happen and Hala explained that to me ams, baby i dont care about people, bas ana met3alga feek now lai daraja eny amshe w kil ily afaker feeh enta 7eta bil jam3a, aw lama ashoof a guy I'm always like, J a7san! J a7la, J awnas, and to me u r baby! *crying more* baby my throat is hurting, a7es roo7y mi5tanga, mu cause of this, cause you don't deserve me leaving you like this, I know you will be a better guy later, a7san min al7een, bas shasawee ana akthar min ely sawaita, I'm still trying baby I'm not going to let go, I love u J, you are malee! forever 9aa7??? I'm sorry I have to leave you, 7ayati tektemel feek w it revolves around you, even when i want to sleep i have to hear your stories w agoom 3ala 9ootek w talk to u the whole day... now ma 3indi a7ad,,, wallah mu hatha ely abeeh w wallah mu thanbi bas 6ela3 min eedy il mawthoo3, a7ebek baby, don't forget me, w as I promised, I'm never taking off the ring, forever J;* bye 7ubi...

Part 17

2009-02-23T15:54:00.002+03:00

Me: aloo

J: I need to see you!

Me: laish mu daag min ra8mek?

J: cause you won't answer! I have something to tell u

I noticed his temper get higher

Me: getlek a7taaj wagt!

J: I gave you enough time. Ta3aalai wela I'm coming!

Me: inzain where? And when tabee?

J: starbux now!

I couldn't answer him, I wanted to say yes but I had too much in mind. When I closed the phone I got up from the living room couch and to my surprise my mother was standing behind me.

Mama: menu hatha?

I was speechless, how can I lie? I have never lied to her! Even if I wanted to how could I?! It was obvious I was talking to a guy! So from all the days and moments, NOW she comes back from her trip?!

Me: my friend

Mama: w wain ray7atla? W shfee wayhich all bruised up?

At that moment I couldn't resist, the blood ran through my body life fire, my face turned red and I was ready to burst. I needed to talk to mama but I couldn't tell her the whole truth. Mama was so open minded but she didn't like lies.

Me: mama I talk to this guy and we love each other and mama he proposed w baroo7 agoula itha I want him to let his father talk to you or not! That's all mama!!

I cried my heart out

Mama: that's all?

Me: yea, kaah the ring (which I was wearing)

Mama: so u have decided?

Me: yea mama I want him!! I love him

Mama: w shfeeh wayhich

Me: I fell

Mama: shfeeeh wayhich (in an angrier voice, as if she knew)

Me: he hit me

Mama: he did?

Me: yea mama

mama: I don't want to ask why mama because I wouldn't want to be asked that question if I was in your place, you're a 21 year old woman, Ana ma ra7 agdar a7meech forever and since you gave him the jur2a to do it, I can't intrude except if you want me to. Mama Hatha he won't stop hitting u, leave him mama! You don't need him...

And she went on and on talking and I stayed there listening closely, mama made me stronger, she was right, and I could face him now! Tell him that I don't want him, she is right he wouldn't stop hitting me! And he would probably fall out of love. But I love him

Mama: mama make your decision and go tell him that, and I'm going to stand next to you no matter what. (She gave me a big kiss on my forehead)

I changed into something pretty, because if I wanted to leave him I should do it with style I thought. I wore this pretty white knee length dress a brown cardigan, flats; put my hair down, and a big channel bag. When I got there I messaged him telling him I was there. He told me to go upstairs. I did. I found him there, sitting on the right table, with my coffee ready for me. I loved him, he knew me to well.

J: lama hi, baby we need to talk...

Me: no j stop. I need to talk and you need to listen...

Part 16 the engagement;*

2009-02-20T22:23:00.005+03:00

J told me to close my eyes and promise I wasn't going to open them, which I did. then he told me to open them and when I did, I found him standing with the balloons over my head and the bear and flower were in his right hand, he placed them on my bed next to me then whet down on one knee and held my right hand with both of his big hands.

J: baby, I know I have done a lot of things to make you hate me and want to get away from me. BS la t7asbeen eny ma a7ebech, ana amoot 3alaich, your my diamond, your my life, you remind me of my mom and that's what I love most about you. And yea, I love you. W a'3aar 3alaich, the way no one else would! Baby you complete me, and I'll do anything you want! And I promise, tenkiser eedy wala ena amidha 3alaich again, (he let go of my hand and held out a small Chopard box). Lama al flani, would you marry me, and be the mother of my children? I promise I will cherish you forever and never hurt you or let a tear run down your cheeks, I love you baby, please say yes!!! (His eyes were amazing; this was unexpected of my bad boy!!)

Me: I don't know what to say. (I really didn't!)

J: say anything!!!

Me: ill need time to think about this...

J: ok baby take as much time as you need!! (He seemed so eager)

Me: time away from you to figure things out.

J: anything you need baby, bs I have to call check up on you!

Me: that's fine with me.

He wanted to jump up and down and scream, even though I didn't say yes but as long as I said "I'll think about it" was enough for him!

The next couple of weeks were a blur... I don't remember much... except for him calling every once and awhile i would answer, and most of the days i wouldn't. I didn't go out much yet Jana and Sara came over a lot, we enjoyed our "Girl Time" together!! We watched movies, ate ice-cream, played karaoke, and ordered take out! The bruises took time to wear off but they eventually did. I didn't really give time to think about J or of what I wanted.

A couple of days later, I got a call... 667*****

Part 15 (Lama's side of the story)

2009-02-20T12:36:00.002+03:00

I woke up!

J: baba goomai, 7abeebty, goomai ya 3omri (he said it with a loving and comforting voice)

I opened my eyes and I found him sitting on his knew, playing with my hair and holding my hand with the other. I didn’t feel like moving, and I didn’t feel like talking either! I wanted to stay in my dreams. I enjoyed it there.

Me: hmm?

J: 7abeebty wake up, tra nazel dam (he said it as if he was scared of me and of my reaction)Me: OMG! MOOOVE! GO OUT NOW!!!!!!! (I was screaming! how embarrassing)I knew it was my period because I was still a virgin, and because every time I was shocked or scared a lot I would get my period. I was expecting it in a few days anyways. But it was so embarrassing with him here he was it, the blood.

J: wallah many hadich w entail tanzifeen, ta3alai ma3ai el 7amaam!

I slowly got up with him even though I didn’t want to and I felt hurt. But I just gave up to him, he took me to the bathroom slowly undressed me. I was shocked that the blood didn’t bother him. I couldn’t undress myself I was going to fain for all I knew and my blood pressure was sinking. I got into the shower and opened the water to a warm temperature. I washed up my hair with my blue Herbal Essences shampoo, then washed it off, applied the conditioner, then washed it off again. Then I put my lush body soap on my leaf and scrubbed my body well! When I was done I closed the water and heard him rush back into the bathroom, I got out of the tub, I felt dizzy.

He wrapped the towel on my body and hair. He carried me to my bed. He changed it! I felt my heart fall for that. He knew exactly what to do! The ballons were very nice, the flowers were too but why were they thrown of the floor with the other bunch of things.He got me my underwear and dressed me up again slowly touching my body with his colder hands everywhere. I guess they were cold now because my body was really hot. I needed kotex before I started to bleed again. I had to ask him to get me some. I didn’t have to strength to get them myself. The bathroom seemed so far at the moment.

Me: J

J: 3yooon J! intai amrai bas!

Me: aby always please (OMG embarrassing!! Bas it ok its J!)

J: always bel jawane7He cracked up, I found it amusing that he would laugh in an awkward time.

He just didn’t want me to feel embarrassed that’s all I guess. I didn’t bother to even smile.

Me: go into the bathroom it's in the top drawer.

As soon as he was gone I smiled.

He went into the bathroom got me the "always" and handed it over to me. I stood up slowly loosing balance once or twice. He held me up while I put it on. Then when I was done he placed me back on my bed slowly…

Part 14 (Lama's side of the story)

2009-02-20T12:35:00.000+03:00

**J and I were both sitting on the couch in my room. Watching the T.V., I was changing the channels and I wanted to find a romantic story, something that would make me cry. He was just bothering me!

Me: move I hate you

J: I'm not going anywhere I want to have you forever

Me: J move, I don’t want to be with u, I don’t want you to hug me, go away! (Teasing him)

J: You want me to stop? fine! Just give me a big kiss on my lips

Me: no!

J: yees!! (Grinning)

Me: nooo move (laughing at his grinning)

J: if you don’t then I'll come and get it!! (Teasing me)

Me: mmmmmmmmmmmmwah, ok?!

J: ok baby just one more thing

Me: hmm?

J: tickling tiiiiime (laughing!!)

Me: (laughing) fine I love you!

He stops tickling me. He looked at me till both our eyes met, and his lips were so close to mine till we were breathing into each other's lips. His breathe tasted so well, I just wanted to jump on him and do it, but he didn’t seem that eager.

J: are you serious? (His eyes tearing up)

Me: about what?! (Very concerned)

J: about loving me? After all I have put you through

Me: yes I do, it ok baby (confused and still concerned)

J: ok

He took his warm muscular hand of my stomach and gathered his belongings walked away, then turned to look at me one more time. He left the room angry, mad, sad and doubtful. I looked at him slowly leaving. My eyes started to tear, I burst out crying. But I couldn’t call him back or run after him to know the reasons behind his actions.

I stopped crying and turned to the T.V. to continue looking for a movie instantly. I was like a robot! Then I saw something from the corner of my eye, it was him standing in the doorway, I smiled and so did he, he came closer threw his things on the couch came close to my face his lips were in front of mine, our eyes met I felt him undress me with his eyes and hands. His manly hands slowly took my shirt off and his lips kissed my neck slowly. He gently sucked on my neck then it hurt more, but it was still pleasurable. He slowly put his right hand on my left breast and … **

Part 13 (Lama's side of the story)

2009-02-20T12:34:00.000+03:00

I felt someone next to me turn and fuss, oh, it was J! I was so hurt, and my bruises killed me! It hurt to move, but I had to since the place I slept over killed me already. I turned over to the most comfortable place I could sleep on… I gave out moans of discomfort and hurt.

All I could think about was why did he do this to me, was he drunk? What if he has killed me! It's not a joke at all. Bs I know he isn’t that kind of guy, what got into him! I don’t care! I just hope all the bruises go before mama comes back from Paris! I felt a kiss on my forehead, and fell back asleep right away.*3 hours past*

I woke up not knowing where J went or why… he was my man no matter what he did! I needed him to be next to me and take care of me! That all I had at the moment, him. What if he ran away again! Tears started running down my cheeks they were so warm. I realized the emptiness I was in, I just needed him to be there with me!
I held my phone wondering if I would call asking where he went or ignoring him?! I decided to ignore him and answer the msg my mom sent the day before.

To mama: Hi mama I miss you so much! And I can't wait till your back! When are you coming back btw?? How's baba and when is he coming back, I'm alright I just miss being with you… get me everythingJ I love you bye.

I need to get up to wash my body, I'm too tiered, and I can't! I'm so hungry! I'm craving the chocolate bar pink pasta, and then I remembered that I have told the driver the day before to get my chocolate bar and I never got it. I took my phone and dialed the maid's number…

Maid: hello!

Me: where is my chocolate bar?!

Maid: this the one driver bring lama?!

Me: yes, he brought it yesterday!

Maid: no lama! I knock door for you and you not answer, and then food become cold and then I put in oven until you wake up, and den dis J come and he go in your room, I think no she will not eat and haraam we tro so I eat dis but I leave the chocolate. U want I tell da driver to bring more?

Me: (smiling) No its fine, if you want you can eat the chocolate. Ok I want to go back to sleep, don't let anyone come in ok?

I threw my phone on the other side of the bed and went back to sleep.

sorry;*

2009-02-19T23:27:00.004+03:00

Hey everyone, im sorry to cut you guys off short, but im not planning on continuing my blog anymore, due to the comments that have been put from a couple of readers. im so sorry;* i love you all... and if u want i can give u my last part, telling u what happened in a summerized way..
love u all, just decide and let me know ,, bye bye;**

Part 15

2009-02-18T22:34:00.004+03:00

S: wallah ena what your doing isn’t right, you just hit the girl nearly to death, and now you decide to marry her faj2a?!

J: ya5ii a7ebha! What wrong with you? Don’t you want me to be happy?! (His voice got louder as he spoke this time) I didn’t mean to hit her, it just happened and she'll understand!

S: ya thakee, you don’t do that without both of your parents talk and decide that!

J: my dad isn’t going to say no, I don’t care, I want her! I won't let her leave me I'm getting her!

J didn’t really think about what his friend was telling him, it was surely not going to work! They didn’t even discuss it with the parents, he doesn’t know if he wants her or if he doesn’t. He had mixed feelings, he wanted her as if she was his drug, and without taking her he wouldn’t live, yet he knew he won't stop hurting her. J should have listened to his friend, he knew better and he didn’t want to see J, or Lama hurt. They grew up together since they were 12, so he knew J the most.

J: mashy mashy yala ana busy akalmik later!

S: ok yal 7abeeb shouf shey9eer weyaak then tell me

J: ok.. Ok

J started wondering about what he was doing, was it right? Or wrong? He didn’t quite know!! Well he decided that he would go for it, after all he wanted her close to him now more than ever. When he got there, to her house, he snuck in through the "secret door" into her room; He was holding the flowers and balloons with his right hand, her engagement ring and the bear and chocolates all in his left hand. He slowly opened the door not wanting to disturb her in case she was sleeping, as he entered he found her still sleeping on her bed, but it didn’t look the same. She looked awful, she was all bruised up, with blood all over her cover, and no one has come into her room to realize. She was bleeding, it wasn’t from her nose, it was from somewhere lower. J freaked out! He rushed in placing everything on the floor not to ruin anything and he didn’t want to wake her up… the balloons rose to the ceiling. He went up to her bed to find out what this was from.

She's a virgin I'm sure, why is there blood! OMG, think straight. I shouldnt scare her, yallah kaah slowly!!

He went up to her head and sat on his knees, he played with her hair with his right hand and held her hand with the other… he felt like he had smashed a beautiful soul. The soul that was so bright the day they met, the girl that laughed all the time and joked around all the time, she was priceless diamond, what has he done to her?

J: baba goomai, 7abeebty, goomai ya 3omri (he said it with a loving and comforting voice)

Lama: hmm?

J: 7abeebty wake up, tra nazel dam (he said it as if he was scared of her and of her reaction)

Lama: OMG OMG! MOOOVE! GO OUT NOW!!!!!!! (She said it screaming! She felt embarrassed)

Every time something scared her she got her period, just like the time she had a car accident, she was so shocked she got it, so she guessed that this would have been the same.

J: wallah many hadich w entail tanzifeen, ta3alai ma3ai el 7amaam!

He slowly carried her into the bathroom, and undressed her slowly and delicately, then as she took a shower he rushed and called the maids, explained what happened, and told them to change the covers. Then he stood in the bathroom with a similar towel he had, and as soon as she was done he covered her up so she wouldn’t take a cold.

Did she notice the things I got, naaah she was too distracted by the blood! Man I love her! Look at that body, she is just breath taking even when she's all bruised up, uff yeg6a3 eedy!:@
He carried her to her bed and gently put her there, he was stunned by how she said nothing the whole time.

He got her underwear and dressed her up again slowly touching her toned bronze body.

Lama: J

J: 3yooon J! intai amrai bas!

Lama: never mind, ill get it..

Part 14

2009-02-18T00:02:00.004+03:00

This post is dedicated to my lovely friend, sister, soul, and weirdo Jana, I love you so much honey!!! And you called me begging for a post even though I really need to sleep, so I wrote you a little one and I'm going back to bed, take care honey;***

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

He got home, J parked his car behind his father's crème color Bentley coupé, he rang the bell till the maids opened the door, he left everything in the car rushing into his room, he quickly took off his shirt, shorts, slippers, and headed into the bathroom, opened the water till it was warm to the point the bathroom was full of steam, he enjoyed it that way because his muscles would warm up and relax, he applied some of his Escada shower gel on the torques sponge she got him when they shopped at Body Shop a month ago, he scrubbed his whole body from neck to toe slowly, he wanted to look clean and smell good, so he scrubbed every detail of his body till his body was full of white bubbly foam, he later threw the sponge on the rack and applied Nobel shampoo on his head and scrubbed real hard as if he was trying to rub of all the shit he did in the past two days and forget about it as if it was going to wash away. He rinsed his hair till the soap was all gone and rinsed his body applying water everywhere; as soon as he was done his smell was mesmerizing, he covered his body using a big baby purple towel and went over to the sink to wash his teeth, gargled then combed his hair back, He then applied his Gillette shaving foam all over his face, then took his shaver and started to shave till he just had a gifil and a tafla, he then washed of the foam from his face and applied his Polo Black after shave to refresh his skin… he really wanted to look perfect for the big day, he expected it to be perfect!

I will never hit her again, I will never get mad at her again, if she pisses me of to my final point I won't think of getting mad or touching her, she's my baby girl, the girl that loved me and would do anything for me, Uhh I'm hating myself so much right now!

He rushed into his cupboard wore his Dolce and Gabbana boxers, and his black Burberry blouse, it looked so decent, he rose the collar of his blouse so that it looked nice with his hair, and the Burberry print on the inside of the collar would stand out, he wore his dark blue John Paul Gaultier jeans, and his Gucci shoes, which he rarely wore!! He kept them for special occasions; they were black with beige and white lines on each side. When he was done he combed his hair back again and put on his light blue dolce cologne, as soon as he was done he went into his father's room to get the Bentley's car key, he knew that if his dad found out he had taken it he would literally kill him, because the last time he took it he had an mini accident.

He called one of the maids to help him take all the things from the Porsche to the Bentley; he rode his dad's car and drove passionately, he counted the minutes to get to her house… He soon called his best friend S, S was hotter than J was but he played around with a lot of girls and didn’t really believe in "commitment". "It's all a piece of shit" S always said, "you can get everything you want without marriage, it just takes away the sparks when you're committed!" Anyways, he was informed the whole story, detailed by J, S was shocked!

S: YANAAAIT? And now you're going to purpose?! You're crazy!

J: A7IIIIIIIIIIIBHA YA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!! I'm deeply in love with this girl! Mit3aleg feeha!

Part 13 (J's plan!!)

2009-02-16T21:51:00.006+03:00

J opened each eye to find himself sleeping on his right side with both legs bent into his chest, his right hand was under the pillow and the other was between his thighs, he slowly straightened his legs till they touched the end of the bed, he started to think about what happened the night before..

How could I have done this? Hurt Lama! My Lama, my baby, my life, my soul?! How could I? I went too far this time! I'm sure I lost her for good, I regret this! I fucking regret this! WHAT DID I DO?! What’s wrong with me! Since when did I start hitting her?! I wasn’t drunk! And I'm surely not that kind of guy! Should I leave then come back with my dad and propose? Naah not after what happened, she wouldn’t want me, and I have to make it up to her first! She would want something different something shockingly great..

He felt her move, he could feel her pain, and she gave an unpleasant moan indicating the hurt she felt, his heart hurt when he heard her! He felt like needles were piercing into it! He wished he was the one getting hurt not her!

Minu ana ely asawee feeha chethy? Who do I think I am! I'm going to make it up to her and fast! I hope she doesn’t wake up soon!

Just like that J turned and looked at her while she was sleeping, gave her a simple kiss on her forehead, he looked around for his keys and found them next to the door, the L.V. keychain she got him was broken from the pressure of the hit it got against the wall, the night before, he took 4 minutes looking for his phone, then remembered he left it in the car, he then took his other phone, wore his TOD'S slippers and unlocked the door, listened for a while to know if anyone was home, told the maids he was leaving then comming back later, (the maids knew they couldnt say any of what happened to any family member since they raised her they knew everything about her, and accepted Lama's decision into keeping things between them no matter how hard and crazy it would get) J got out of the house, from the door no one in Lama's family ever used, he got into the car and drove off to the ba8ala to get a redbull light and a pack of Dunhill smokes…he stopped there for a while thinking of where to go and how to make it up to her…

How can I make it up to her, think!!!! Ok I need something fast before she wakes up and decides to run away again! Ok let me make a list…

He threw his right hand to the back seat, leaned his head right to look for a pen and a paper…

Ok sooo ummm
Number 1: flowersNumber 2: a ring to propose
Number 3: a teddy bear since she loves them
Number 4: her favorite Fauchon dark chocolate box
Number 5: candles
Number 6: balloons

J needed to change, he had blood all over his dish dasha, he found his soccer outfit in the trunk of his car, since his car was darkly tinted he jumped to the back seats and changed into his sport outfit, he didn’t care how cocky he looked with the Arsenal shirt and the plain black shorts with the TOD'S slippers, he haven’t shaved his mustash and gifil for a while he had the sexy dirty look and his hair was all messed up, it didn’t matter, all that mattered was him trying to get back his love, his baby, his wife,

J went in order, he got the flowers from the Jabrya CO-op, he loved their flowers and always found them luxurious, he got her a bouquet of white and red roses, then he went to get the ring from Chopard La Strada ring, then went across the street to get her a box of chosen chocolates from Fauchon, he chose an elegant box, something that matched up all of the things he already bought, he stopped at marina to bawabat al hadaya, to get her a big brown and beige soft bear that had the words, "Forever mine" on it, he also stopped at the marina party land to get balloons, he filled each balloon with sprinkles, so when he popped them for her sprinkles would fall down on her, he chose pink and red balloons, he took around 17 pieces, the number of memories he cherished with her from the day they met, and last but not least, he went back home to change, to get some candles that were lying around, and to write his proposal speech…

Anonymous users..

2009-02-16T20:32:00.003+03:00

Hey everyone,

I want to thank Finicky:* for pointing out that not all my readers could comment on my blog, I just changed that, I am welcoming all points of views and all Feedbacks, thanks and I love you all;**

Feedback;*

2009-02-16T17:31:00.001+03:00

Hey everyone;**

I wanted to know how I'm doing so far? Am I Pleasing u? Please answer back the following questions depending on what you think, and all positive and negative feedbacks will be taken into consideration... love you all;***

1. Are my posts long enough?
2. Am I posting enough posts a day?
3. Is my story interesting?
4. Is there anything im not doing well in my story? If yes, please explain what it is
5. Are you enjoying it?
6. Should I give more details or are my details enough for you guys?
7. Do you want me to focus more about me or Hala or J or M?
8. Do you want me to show you the story from more than one point of view or just mine?

Please answer all the questions back numbered, thanks a lot;** I love you!!

Part 12

2009-02-16T09:33:00.000+03:00

J: 7abeebty gi3dai ana asef, I don’t know how this all happened I'm so sorry baby wake up (I felt pecking on my neck, face, head, chest, and stomach) baba gi3dai,.. I need you in my life!! (he stroke my hair back with his big manly hands)

"Wa7ashteeeny w jeet as2aal w athen iny 3ala baalik 3ala baalik, 3asa..."

J: aloo?! …. Intai shtabeen!,,, malich shi8el! Shes perfectly ok! thilfai,,, hatha kila yah minich! It was all your fault bitch and believe me I'm going to show you way more of what she have seen today! Thilfai!

He closed the phone in her face and threw his phone across the room, it was all from her?! Was he talking to Hala??! But why would she want to ruin our relationship, I helped her countlessly with hers! I didn’t want to open my eyes and tell him I was awake, I wasn’t ready to face him, I was too tiered,,, he got a pillow from my bed placed it under my head then locked the door of my room, he came back and started to cry and cry, WHATS WRONG WITH HIM! Mr. Bad boy yet sensitive! This time he wasn’t drunk! He smelled so good, and he looked even better, he was wearing a crispy white dish dasha.

Me: la tabchy

At that point I still didn’t open my eyes because one of them hurt me so much! I didn’t need any more pain,

J: 7abeebty lamooy, wallah iny a7ebich, sam7eeeny! Tekfain!

Me: i6la3 bara (with the coldest tone) get out now, la adig 3al shir6a

I wanted to see him, I didn’t know if he would leave or if he would start hitting me again, I was eager to see his reaction; his dish dasha was full of blood! WTF! Am I bleeding that much?! I looked down on my clothes and they were full of blood, my nose was leaking,,, he was so stupid, he didn’t even consider covering it!

J: maby don’t leave me baby please! Call the police, whatever you want, just don’t leave me! Shwai shwai baba lemme help you

I backed off without talking signaling him to get away from me, I got up slowly and leaned my back to the wall I took of my top and covered my nose with it, and it burned!! I was so weak, and I didn’t want to see him! The blood was dropping on my naked chest, which was disgusting!

Me: ithlif now! Get out I don’t want to see you again!

I didn’t really care if he stayed or left! Let him die for all I cared, I slowly got up, not taking any of his offers of help, I went to the bathroom, he was following me slowly, he wanted to catch me if I collapsed again, I closed the door in his face before he entered and locked it, I looked at myself in the mirror and burst out with tears.

I looked horrible! My left eye was completely bruised from the top and I had bruised on my chest hands even my back! I had bumps on my head, my nose was bleeding endlessly, I looked like I came out of a horror scene! I stayed in the bathroom for over an hour sitting on the floor, leaning on the door and crying, so was he, but from the other side of the door, when I felt like I cried out all the anger, I got up washed my face took a quick shower with burning water, just the way I liked it, turned the towel on my body and the other on my hair, when I got out I found him lying on the floor fast asleep, he looked heart breaking! I leaned down to him, held his head with my small soft warm hand…

Me: J wake up, come on

J: HAA sh9arr shfeech?!

Me: yala go home

J: no baby I'm not leaving your side! Baby I'm not going to go anywhere

Me: J it's over, leave!

J: I'm not going anywhere, ok anam 3indich kaifich!

I said that as I walked back into my dressing room, he followed me in and kept on begging, I wore my black C.K. boxer and a random black top… I didn’t care if he was still talking I ignored him,,, I went back to bed got into the cover and made myself comfortable, he came in next to me and put his hands around me as if he was going to hug me, I shrieked and moved away, not because he came close, but because he had touched my bruise, I looked at my phone for the last time that night, I had 4 missed calls and 2 msgs,

Hala: 3 missed calls

Mama: 1 missed call

1 msg received (11:19pm)
Hala: are you ok? 6amneeny? Should I call the police for you??

1 msg received (12:29am)
Mama: I love you honey, I called you and you didn’t answer, I guess you're busy, call me as soon as your done, I just arrived to Paris for a meeting and I'm leaving in 2 days, so tell me what you want from here, take care *kisses*

I thought I would reply back to my mom tomorrow, I didn’t consider replying to Hala, because I didn’t know how she came into our story and I was going to act up as soon as I found out, I looked at the time, it was 1:11am, I turned to find J fast asleep, snoring, I turned to the position that didn’t hurt me anywhere, and fell asleep.

Part 11

2009-02-15T23:02:00.000+03:00

I woke up to loud banging on the door, I heard the sounds of both J, and Hala

J: goooomaaaaaai! Ba6lai el baaab la akasra!

Hala: lamooytii open 7abebty please!

J: agooooolich ba6lai, open the door now! NOW!

I opened the lamp next to my bed and looked around to astaw3ib what was going on,,, I took down my hair because my head was aching..

Me: Na3am?!

J: ba6lai el baab la aba6iil rasich!

Me: J please aby anaam, I don’t wanna see you, leave!

J: wallah iny aksir el baaab!! I swear to my mother's grave

He started banging louder; I DIDN’T want to open the door!!

1. I was so scared of what he was going to do
2. I didn’t want to face him
3. I didn’t want to face Hala
4. I didn’t want to know what was going on between them
5. I wanted to sleeeeep!!!!

Hala: open the door Lamaaaa mu nage9na fethaye7!!

Me: I'm not opening w 5ale ely y9eer ey9eer!!!

I picked up my phone to find 41 calls and 1 msg, shockingly every single call was from J, not even Hala called once, the msg said:

J: Daamich ma trideen ana yaayich, w allah yaster bely be9eer feech, mu ana ely ma trideen 3alai, ana awareech!

His threats didn’t matter that much to me anymore since the day he threatened me about lying then he ended up doing nothing, he isn’t the "scary" man I thought he was… Why shouldn’t I open the door? If I wasn’t scared?!! I should open it, let me show him that I'm not scared… uuff bas I don’t want to make it more complicated… bas what if my parents come,, ahhhhhh I don’t know what to do! And who should I ask! Well I'm just going to open up and I hope nothing will happen, before that I went to the bathroom and washed up, freshened up, and not that I'm the religious type but tewathait and 9alait just in case, my heart was beating so fast and the blood was racing throughout my body as if there was a competition to which blood vessel is going to pop first…

J: BA6LAAAAAAAAI LA TYANINEEENY! OPEN! NOW!

Me: if you want me to open , just be quiet and shut up!

Hala: honey please open!!

Me: J, if you want me to open the door I want to see Hala's leave with her car NOW!

I wasn’t going to let the girl that is supposed to be my best friend yet doing something behind me watch me go down with the guy I love, I didn’t want to look small in her eyes, I didn’t want to be dead in front of her…

J: intai imshaiii w y9eer 5air! Just leave!

J: she is leaving!!

I looked out of the window waiting for her to leave, she soon did, and all I could hear in the background were screams to open up the door from J… I got near the door put my hand on the key while I was shaking, It's not normal to be feeling this way!!! Especially from the guy I love! The door was now unlocked, I raaaan back to my bed and hid under the cover just for safety! He opened the door so hard smashing it in to the wall, rushed to me, held me from my hair and started slapping the hell out of me, I was screaming and crying, I was hurting inside out! I pleaded him to let me go but he wouldn’t!

Me: aaaaaaaai wa5eeer, J your hurting me!! (Screaming and crying)

J: chaaaaaaaaaaaaaab your little whore! Who did you leave with from the chalet! Where did you go?!

He kept on saying more things throughout the beating like:

J:
I never knew I was in love with a whore

Go die

I hate you

You deserve this, and I deserve better than you!

Each word he said scared my heart, now I wasn’t crying because of the beating, because at that stage I was numb, I was crying because of the hurting I had inside not out, all I could remember was him pulling my hair, from the bed to the floor, my head hit the floor and he continued slapping it! He slapped me so hard everywhere, I felt liquid run down my face, I could taste it, it was blood, my nose was bleeding, and through all of that I was hysterically begging him to let me go, and he was hysterically taking out his anger, the last hit I recall was the slap he gave me across my face, everything blacked out then I fainted.

Part 10

2009-02-15T19:26:00.000+03:00

J dropped me of in front of Hala's chalet; it was 3:21pm, so the girls were probably still swimming in the sea, before I left his car I gathered up all of my belongings… my phone was under the passenger's seat, my bag was in the back seat, and my hair-band was thrown in the back too.

J: Baba, fakrai eb kalamii 3adil then talk to me and tell me rayich…

Me: I told you rayee (I said It in a confident tone)

J: No you didn’t (it sounded like he was teasing me with every word he said, like I was a kid that understood nothing!)

I gave him a dirty look and smashed the door shut as I turned my bag, just to let him kjnow I wasn’t joking about it because come on! Let's face it, I'm 23 years old, I'm not getting any younger, I'm saying no to all the people who come to ya56ibouny, and they were so much better than J in everything, their looks, jobs, personality, family, and everything I couldn’t think of either!!

I went into Hala's chalet's doorway just to show J I was in, when I saw his Porsche leave I came back out and stood in front of the gate waiting for my driver, I took out my phone to find 1 miss cal from Hala at 3pm on the same day, and a msg from the driver telling me he is 2 minutes away, No msgs or calls from either family member?! They didn’t care about me, none of them really did!

I raised my head to find the driver's car parked waiting for me; I rushed there before any of the girls in the chalet would see me… I was so tiered, I needed to take a warm bubble bath and sleep, on the way home I got another missed call from Hala, and I didn’t want to answer anyone that day I silenced my phone, laid down and slept in the back seat!! The drive home was about an hour, I didn’t feel that much since I slept throughout the whole drive!!

Driver: Lama wake up! Here in front home!

I opened my eyes slowly, I was used to his bad English, it wasn’t amusing any more…

Me: driver, here is 20 kd go to chocolate bar il bide3 and I'll msg you my order.

I saw 5 msgs and 7 missed calls, OH so now people realize I'm gone!!!

1 msg sent
1 pink pasta and 1 classic fondue with dark chocolate for all of them.

He understood what I wanted since he went to get me the same order every single day.

I had 5 missed calls and 3 msgs from J and 2 missed calls and 2 msgs from Hala, I started to open each msg and call…

1 msg received (3: 27pm)
Hala: Hey love when are you coming?! *kisses*

J: 2 missed calls

1 msg received (3:44pm)
J: Ha 7abebty, you seem busy, having fun?

J: 1 missed call

Hala: 2 missed calls
1 msg received (4:12pm)
Hala: where are you!!!!! J said he dropped you off a long time ago!!!! Answer=@

J: 2 missed calls

1 msg received (4:12pm)
J: ENTAI WAINICH?! REDE 3ALAI AL7EEEEEN!!

I know this would probably sound mean but I didn’t bother answering them, I didn’t want to, I didn’t care!! They thought I was lost, well I was in my thoughts! I went upstairs, no one was home, as usual, I told the maids that if anyone called to tell them that I wasn’t home, and If anyone came to tell them that I was sleeping and that I didn’t want to see them. I pinned a paper that said, "I AM SLEEEPING DON’T BOTHER WAKING ME UP UNLESS I CALL YOU J". If you want to, you can call me, msg me, or leave a letter under my door. Everyone was used to my way when I sleep, and what's surprising is that the most things I got were letters!! I got into my sanctuary, my safe place, no one could hurt he here, neither mentally nor emotionally! I locked the door, threw the phone on my bed, got into the bathroom opened the tub's hot water, got undressed, opened the vanilla and caramel scented candles in my bathroom and into the warm bath I went. It felt so good, so refreshing, as soon as I was done I wrapped a towel on my body and the other on my head… I got into my changing room and dressed up into my panty and top, opened the A.C. closed the lights, got into my cold bed, as I was about to sleep I wanted another look at my phone, I looked for it on the top of the covers and I had 9 missed calls now, I felt shocked, stunned, and special! All the missed calls were from Hala and J, and I wasn’t planning on answering any of them. I feel asleep moments later…

Part 9

2009-02-15T12:50:00.000+03:00

He didn’t realize I knew he was behind me so I acted all casual, when I closed the phone he placed his big warm hands on my stomach and moved them slightly up and down… he started to peck the back of my neck, and bite it slightly, my heart stopped and sunk into my guts…

J: 7abebty

Me: hmm?

J: Meta t9eereen mine forever?

Me: it depends baby

J: on what? (Confused)

Me: on when you purpose

I turned my head to the right till our eyes met and gave him a grin, he smiled back

J: la wallah, (haha) baby I can't wait till my baby is in your stomach, baba I want to live with you forever, I want to grow old with you, 7abebty I could never imagine myself waking up or living a minute without this pretty face and …

Come on!! This has to be when he purposes! These are the perfect words and why would he tell me all this without a ring and do I really want to get married? Yea, but not to him? I wouldn’t be able to breathe!!! I would be cut out of my social circle more than I already am!!!.... But let's face it I love him, why am I thinking in this way, he should give me some time to think about this, ya3ni I don’t know if we would work! What if he… Ahhhh woman he is talking, think later!!!!

J: and everything is done, I just want to know your decision about it, and I hope you're not angry baby, so what do you say?

I turned till we met face to face, and he kept hugging me from the back side, our bodies were touching and we looked perfect, I do imagine him being my husband, he is taller than me, we match up great, we would have hot kids, he held me closer to him and tightened his hands I stayed quiet, I didn’t know what he was really asking me, I was speechless not knowing why!!

J: what do you say 7abooba?

Me: I don’t understand, your words didn’t sink in, can you explain it again? (I cant belive I blacked out of my own proposal)

J: baby I was telling you that I'm going to continue my masters in the US for a year or two

He said it as if he wasn’t hurting; he said it as if it was ok, and all planned out, I was so shocked! He said it with confidence as if he was thinking about it for years! I leaned my head on his cheast…

Me: and??

J: AND I want you to wait for me baby, I don’t want you to be anyone else's, and I would marry you but I just don’t want to get married now, I hope you understand what I mean, I don’t want to lose you, bas lama ma aby atzawaj now, none of my cousins are married, and I don’t want to be the one left out

My eyes opened wide, I rose my head and looked at him with complete shock, It was like a bee had just stung me… From thoughts of wedding bells to a long distance relationship! What is he thinking?

Me: that’s what you're worried about? Being left out? I have been "left out" of my social circle ever since we met and I was fine with it! if it meant that we would be together, because I loved you!

J: it's just a couple of years 7abebty; you just have to wait for me, well stay the same, la t5afeen…

Did he know what he was saying?! Did he realize that he just dropped a bomb on me and he is expecting me to sink it all in?!!! this is basically what he was saying, I want to go and live abroad for a while and I want you to wait for me here for two more years without a proposal and I don’t want to get married because I would rather fuck around with the other women over there than be committed to you!!

Me: I'm sorry, I don’t think that’s going to work out, I don’t want that.

I started to back of my body from this man; he wasn’t the man I loved! He wasn’t my J, my love, my baby... he was a stranger that didn’t want to be near me, as I backed off my eyes filled with tears, his hands held me closer to his body, I started to hit his chest with my hands, I looked like I was a crazy angry person. But who wouldn’t be in my situation?!

Me: waaa5er 3ani, I hate you! I'm not going to wait for you, I don’t care!

I repeated these words as I got more into rage, I hit him harder and harder, he didn’t move except to bring me closer to him and shush me…

J: 7abeebty don’t cry, I'm not leaving for another month or so, we can spend as much time as you want together

Me: a month? That’s enough for you?! How long have you known? I don’t want to be with you, MOVE!!

I screamed from the top of my lungs, I just wanted to be alone, I didn’t want to be around him, and I hated him at that moment! It seemed as if he expected this because he knew exactly how to react to this situation… after nearly 10 minutes of crazy action, I collapsed into his arms and started to cry… now I needed comfort, from the man I loved, him!

J: baby I love you (kissing me on my forehead)

Me: rasy y3awer, I want to leave.

J: yala 7abebty, gomai badlai

I felt weak again, I couldn’t get up to change and I couldn’t move a muscle either…

Me: maby I'm going chethy

J: la wayed g9eer el short, ill change you 7abebty

Why was he acting like he cared?! He didn’t!!!!!

Me: la, I'm leaving chethy

J: getlich la, gomai 7abebty, ma tabeeny abadilich ya 7elwa?

Me: la! Wa5er 3ani, malik shi8el feeny

It was the first time I gave him attitude, and he deserved it, he was leaving me…

J: 7eta lou ma tabeeny ana ma agdar a5alee ily a7ebha te6al3 chethy w a5alee el 9bayaan yshoufounha chethy… a'3aar 3alaich and you know that baby.

I didn’t feel like arguing back I was so tiered my blood pressure was low and after all the drama I couldn’t argue, I wanted to take a long bath and sleep. He carried me into his room and put me on his bed. He gently undressed me till I was just in my panty, he slowly took each hand and put it through the bra straps, his warm hands felt so good touching up my body… he turned to my back to close up my bra…

J: on the second or third?

Me: on the first

He closed it on the second thinking I didn't notice, it was just a matter of 3naad now, anything I said he would do differently, and anything he said I would do differently, it didn’t really matter now. He put my white Marc Jacobs dress on, and put my slippers on for me..

J: sh7alaaatich, yala 7abebty

I didn’t bother answering him, it was pointless… we rode the car so he would drop me to Hala's chalet… I didn’t say a word the whole way and I didn’t feel like seeing her either. He turned on the first CD to the first song, "balaa 7ob balaa wejaa3 galb wish janaa min wara hal 7ob '3air el alam '3air el ta3aab wish janaaa ya naas…"

He held my left knee tight and sang with the song in a teasing tone to make me laugh, I didn’t react or say a word to him I turned my face to the right, tilted my head back and cried, I felt me5tanga, like someone was chocking me, it hurt so much, I couldn’t breathe! It hurt to lose the person I loved…

Really Bad Day:(

2009-02-14T23:13:00.000+03:00

Hey everyone I am so sorry I couldn’t write a long post, I have been through so much today,, taboon I cut of my story tell u about it then continue,, or continue my story till I get to todays part?
wallah ana asfa 3al g9oor w i promise you from now on kil youm at least 2 posts a day;*
please answer my question...

Part 8

2009-02-14T23:12:00.000+03:00

He came in 20 minutes,,, after the phone call telling me he has to leave, he had an emergency at work, and well I didn’t believe that because let's face it, he works at a bank part time and in his father's company how big could it be?! I accepted his excuse I just didn’t want to cause more problems; he cleaned up the chalet fast and wore his crispy white polo shirt… he doesn’t usually care about how he looks but he literary spent 10 minutes fixing his hair and putting perfume and dressing up.

Me: what are you doing?

J: I have a meeting, a really important one, where am I dropping you?

Me: madrii let me see,,, wain my phone?

J: in the car

Me: ill go get it k?

J: no, just take mine

He tossed me his blackberry, I was dying to know who called him, bas the last call was from "Yuba Paris", his father's Paris line, I smiled, what's wrong with me acting so paranoid??! I dialed the Hala's number 66XXXXXX,,

Hala: hala J, how did our plan go? (Sounding determined that their "plan" worked!)

I couldn’t open my mouth, I was speechless, plan? What plan?

Me: *fake laugh* ee I'm alright ya 7elwa, J needs to leave where should I meet you??

Hala: let him drop you off to Starbux Jula'a

Me: ok, you spoke to my family right?

Hala: yup, your khalty Sara and 3ami fahad are out of the country and Rula is staying over at Leena because she is getting tiered and Faisal is at 7adaag with his friends…

Me: *another shocked laugh* how do you know all this?

Hala: I spoke to Rula for a while and she told me, anyways come on I'll be there in 10 minutes.

Me: ok bye

I said bye in a really low voice not wanting J to know I ended the call, I opened up his msgs to find most his msgs from Hala! The msgs were shocking! They were before and after what happened last night, even before he came to starbux!

I couldn’t understand what was going on anymore? I quickly closed the msgs and opened up the log to see the amount of times they have been contacting without me knowing, it was a couple of times, as I was checking the log history I felt his breath on the back of my neck, I froze, I didn’t want him to know that I found out so I just called the driver telling him to pick me up from Hala's chalet…

Valintines Day;** <3

2009-02-14T09:22:00.001+03:00

Hey everyone happy valintines daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay;** i hope you enjoy it and I love you alll;*** I'm so happy you guys are getting hooked w inshalla I'll do my best with the posts,, love you;***

Part 7

2009-02-13T17:45:00.000+03:00

I couldn't wait for him anymore I wanted to know what he was doing, I went to the bathroom to freshen up then I went into the dressing room opened the cupboard looked for a long sweater and boxers, I dressed up,,

J: lamaa come to the living room

Me: give me a minute

Put my hair up in a messy bun and 3adalt last night's make-up…

J: yalaaaaaaaaa I'm hungry too!

I went out of the room and saw red flowers on the floor leading to the living room and he had the TV on a random MBC 4, friends was on… this was like my perfect day, J, Mc-deez breakfast, and friends! What could be any better?

Awal ma I came in, he pulled my hand and sat me on his lap, he smelled so good he was wearing his Dolce and Gabbana light blue cologne, his smell was orgasmic,,, he pushed my curly hair back slightly…

J: hala ib lamooytii, you look wonderful!

Me: thanks baby, ok let's eat!!

I gave him a naughty grin, but seriously I was so hungry, I got up and took my Mc muffin,,,, sat in front of the TV he took his food sat next to me and we both started to eat… as soon as we were both done we started to discuss what happened the night before

J: baby tell me what happened yesterday,, I don’t remember what happened after we left starbux…

I took my time explaining to him what happened and what he did, that he drank and drove us to the chalet, then what happened in bed, I kept out his crying part though, I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed in front of me, I didn’t want to ruin what we had…

J: 7abeebty lamooy, laish itchathbeen 3alai?

Me: ya3nii J, itha u knew we were going out with M would you have said ok?

J: la

Me: exactly, w kil ma kint agoulek come with us shenu kint tgoul?

J: I'm busy weya ahalee w rab3ee, ana asef 7abeebty, wa3aad eny bat'3ayar

He gave me a smile, but I didn’t give one back

Me: do you realize what you made me go through last night? Do u realize the horror I went through? Do you know how I felt? (each question I asked my voice got higher and my eyes teared up more)

J: 7abebty ana asef walla ma kaan 8a9dii

Me: it doesn’t matter now,

He pulled my head to his chest, and started to kiss my fore head… I know what I was doing was wrong, getting all sensitive, but imagine what I have been through the night before in starbux, then in the car, then when we got there, then in bed, yet he wouldn’t remember what happened!

J: ya3nii daloo3a??

I looked up at him, with puppy eyes

Me: shrayek?

He gave me his big smile and his dimples were so perfectly carved into his cheeks, he put his thumb on my cheeks and wiped off my tears, and looked closely into my eyes,

J: ma aby ashouf dam3itic h tanzil min 3ainich again, baby your special to me

Me: baby I love u

J: I love u too

We sat there watching more of friends, his phone rang again, but this time he didn’t answer it in front of me he left the room, It was surly something very important, I guess it was work or something..

Part 6

2009-02-13T12:26:00.000+03:00

I woke up the next day by his warm big lips pecking mine, his big warm hand playing with my hair lightly and his other hand holding me close to his big body,,, I opened my eyes and gave him a smile wanting this to last forever,,, his eyes gave me a vibe, the "be my wife" vibe… Then I turned and gave him my back, he hugged me even tighter than ever…

J: t7ibeene?

Me: moot

J: bas mu akthar meny 9aa7?

Me: 9aaa7

He knew I was teasing him,,, so he held me tight and started to tickle me,, I couldn’t stop laughing,,,

Me: hahaha J stoooooop!!!!

He continued tickling me in all my sensitive areas, my stomach my neck and the soul of my feet, I couldn’t get him to stop, I was laughing so much and so loud that I forgot about my family!!! As soon as I remembered I turned to him and looked at him so scared, he stopped tickling me

J: honey don’t give me that look, your killing me, I msged Hala and told her that we were here and that we are going to figure everything out, she told me that was alright, she called your mom explaining that you accidently slept on the couch at her house and that you were going to her chalet the next day as planned, your mom agreed…

I felt relief! He knew me so well, he knew when I was going to cry or laugh, or when I was happy or sad or mad, he knew my thoughts and what each look I gave him meant!!

Me: uff J I want a break!

I said that with a smile on my face yet his smile turned into a frown…

J: laaish min ams? I swear I am so sorry baby I know I over reacted baby I didn’t mean anything I swear, you know how much I love you w how much a'3aar 3alaich, and you lied to me baby, I was shocked and you know I always do things I don’t mean and…

As he said his last words I gave him a big kiss on his lips to shush him,,, I gave him a kiss that showed how much I wanted him right there right now, I wanted him forever and I simply wanted him to shut up, I gave him the "I'm hungry for u " kiss. We kissed for a few minutes then he stopped

J: baby why do you want a break?

Me: I want you to love me more and miss me more and need me more (then I blushed)

J: feedaaait ely yisti7ooon

Me: J shhh!! (blushing more)

J: baby do you know how lucky I am that I have found u?!

Me: how lucky? (With half a smile)

I didn’t want to discuss our love; well I did but not in words, in tongue.

J: I am so lucky because I know you're going to be the one I wake up every day looking at, baby you're so beautiful and your all mine no one else's…

As he was talking his black berry rang…

I loved his song it was Rashid al Majid's song "Wa7ashteeeny w jeet as2aal w athen iny 3ala baalik 3ala baalik, 3asa maa shaar..."

Raju: Yes Sir, I am outside

J: Yala I'm coming

He quickly got up wore his jeans and told me to close my eyes till he got back and not to move!!
As usual he took too long and I feel asleep,, he came in screaming

J: LAMOOOOOOOOOOOO WAKE UP!! YA 7ELWA WAKE UP

Ber3a ba6alt my eyes, I saw him standing with his topless sexy perfect body, with his dolce jeans, holding a tray with my favorite breakfast, McDonalds, and he had this big smile that showed both dimples, his hair was to his neck and curved out and he had a dirty beard which I loved.

Me: allllaaaaaaah i want come on!!! Come here!!

J: no wait

He left with the tray again…

Part 5

2009-02-13T09:18:00.000+03:00

He hit his chalet door with his right leg and stopped,,, he looked at me…

J: la tabcheen!

But the more he said it the more I was scared, not just because I lost the man of my life, but about not knowing what's going to happen and by what my parents are going to do to me!! He still didn’t move, he repeated the words "la tabcheen" as if I could easily stop, but I couldn’t!! Because I wasn’t at the normal stage of crying where a couple of tars flow down your eyes then if you stop you'll smile and say "everything is going to be alright"! I was crying the way a kid cries if he fell on his bike and got hurt, the type of crying that you couldn’t breathe and you're repeatedly took big short breaths…

I turned to look at the chalet and it was all dark, when he opened the lights his chalet was empty,,, he took me to his room and placed me slowly on his bed,,, I was shaking really hard…

J: LAMA shfeech! (he had this concerned look on his face)… basich bachee!

Then he left the room,,, where did he go?! I didn’t dare move a muscle, all I did was move my hand into the pocket of my dress to get my phone but it wasn’t there,,, the minutes passed as if they were days,,, just like that I fell asleep…

I must have not slept for long cause I wasn’t deep enough into my sleep,,, I felt him come in and covering me up with a thick blanket,,, he was doing something with his phone then he threw it on the bed,, he placed his hand (which seemed warmer) on my forehead and leaned down to kiss it with his big lips… then he turned to my back side and slowly came into bed, hugged me and started pecking my back … Then there was something else… there was an action I never thought I would hear or see him do!

OMG!! As he was pecking my back he was crying! I couldn’t believe it,,, he wasn’t the 7asaas type, it was never expected for him to cry for me! A girl that just betrayed him…

I turned around slowly and looked into his eyes and realized the pain that I was causing him,,, he just wanted to be loved,,, he wanted me to be the mother he never had he wanted me to take care of him,,,

Me: baba la tabchy…

I gave him a peck on his lips

J: walla a7ebich laish tsaween feeny chethy?!

Me: ana asfa 7agek 3alai baby, I love you,, im yours,,, and ill explain what happened tomorrow…

Then he leaned his head into my cheats and continued to cry till he fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep, I remembered everything he told me, about his mom passing away when he was three and how he never got love since his father was always traveling for work and that he was an only child. I realized that the only reason he drank was to express his feelings, he was drunk, he probably wouldn’t remember what he just did before falling asleep… I started playing with his hair till I fell asleep too.

part 4

2009-02-12T20:26:00.000+03:00

All I know is that I woke up in his car, in the passenger seat… I opened one eye at a time slowly not wanting him to know that I woke up! There was no sound except for him heavily breathing…

I was helpless, scared, frightened and all I could see was his hand dig into the back seat, I quickly closed my eyes, he pulled out a bottle… he started to drink…the bottle was see through glass with the words "SMIRN OFF VODKA" all I could think of was the situation I was in,, and him getting drunk!!

Shasawee? A6ali3 my phone w adig? Inzaain 3ala minu??! What if he notices the light of the phone or hears a sound?? Where is he taking me? What if he really does kill me? Then I started to regain my senses,,, I tried to figure out i7na ib ay share3 by looking at the signs but I couldn’t see any since my chair was low and my head was down to my right sholder…

I looked out of the side mirror and all I could see were random cars passing by,,, where were M and Hala? Were they going to help me? I couldn’t stop thinking,,, shwai wela he stops at the side of the road,,, and he took my left hand gently while holding his vodka bottle in his left hand,,, his hands were still so cold, with no feelings of love or caring!!

J: goumai!

I stayed silent, I didn't want to face anything!!

J: baba goomai 5alna netfaham… la t5afeen many msaweelich shai…

I still didn’t respond

J held my left shoulder and started to shake me,,

J: goooomai (in his uneven drunken voice) lamoooo gooomai,,

I slowly opened my eyes acting like I just woke up,, my heart was beating so fast I felt as if he was going to smash the bottle into my head and kill me,, I felt as if he wanted to kill me,,, throw me out into the desert and leave me there to die,,, or for strangers to rape me,,, as I was opening my eyes I was looking around to see if I recognized anything,,, I did!! We were in front of his chalet,,,

J: yala nizlai!

Me: wain?

J: let's discuss this inside…

I was so tiered I couldn’t move, my legs were hurting they were so weak at the moment, and i couldn't look at him my head was down the whole time!!

Me: ma feeny, ryouly y3awroun

J: k ni6rai…

He opened his door and got out as he finished his vodka bottle and threw it into the bara7a,,, he turned to my side and opened the door,,, at that moment I thought that he would pull me out of the car with my hair or scream at me to get out, but all he did was gently carry me into his well builted body and hold me tight till we got in… as soon as my body touched his and my head touched his chest my heart raced faster than ever,, I wanted to scream "I LOVE U" and "YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT" but how could I? I just betrayed him!!! Then I started to cry and cry till we got into the chalet,,,

Me, Myself, & I

Razeen (2)

Razeen (1)

Hurt 4

New?

Stuck?

Hurt 3

Hurt 2

Hurt 1

Im baq:)

Part 53 *The wedding* *The end*

Me

Part 52

Inah lillah wa ina illayhi raji3oon.

Sara

New?

Part 51

BACK!

Part 50

Part 49

Part 48

Part 47

Part 46

Part 45

Part 44

Part 43

Part 42

Part 41

Depressed.

Ehda2aat;*

**

Part 40

Part 39

Part 38

**HAIR**

Part 37

Part 36

:$

Part 35

Part 34

Part 33

Shetsawee?

Part 32

Post 31

I love your blog award!!;*

Part 30

Part 29

Part 28

Part 27

Part 26

:(

Part 25

Part 24

Part 23

SUPRISE;**

Part 22

Part 21

*Clarification *

Part 20

Part 19

Part 18 *7ubna Kan A7la Qee9a*

Part 17

Part 16 the engagement;*

Part 15 (Lama's side of the story)

Part 14 (Lama's side of the story)

Part 13 (Lama's side of the story)

sorry;*

Part 15

Part 14

Part 13 (J's plan!!)

Anonymous users..

Feedback;*

Part 12

Part 11

Part 10

Part 9

Really Bad Day:(

Part 8

Valintines Day;** <3

Part 7

Part 53 The wedding The end

HAIR

Clarification

Part 18 7ubna Kan A7la Qee9a